Do you like my poem?

Question

"If Only They"

The world is in turmoil
and fellows battle,
raging,fighting warriors
swept like cattle
into the fray.
Death a reminder that all are fragile
screaming armageddon,
through technologies missile.
One wonders,
if they could see a path to passion,
or love in any fashion.
The need for life and love
would end the screams
from the sky above
and green,
would take the place of death
so all would have eternal breath.
"If Only They"

Answer 1

I really like your poem-the way you break up your lines is very efficient in driving the point across to your readers.However,I have one little suggestion,in the sixth line,I think you should put a hyphen after 'Death',it would make the meaning a bit clearer I think.However,it's just my opinion.I like your poem a lot,since I myself identify with the theme a lot.Really good work:-)

Answer 2

You're getting there! Keep writing and eventually you will write an actual poem. At this point you have learned something about imagery, enjambment and meter. You're using a number of cliches, like "into the fray," "like cattle," and "eternal breath." Find your own similes and metaphors instead of using these tired, old ones. Good luck to you.!

Answer 3

That is very, very good. I love your diction and the way it flows while reading it. The meaning is quite obviious, but its said in such a unique manner. I love it. Great job.

Answer 4

Specially the last stanza - "The need for life and love........"

Just wow. Very very good. I like it. Go ahead.

Answer 5

This is a fantastic poem... It really tells about the world and your feeligs! I Really Love It! Please Send A Copy of it To MEE!!!

Answer 6

Yes!

Answer 7

That was really good man.

Answer 8

WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THAT!

Answer 9

it is very interesting.........