marriage I came to know that my husband had an affair with a girl for nearly 4 /5 yrs i felt really cheated but he said that it his dead past and he doesnt want to even talk or remember of it he told me nobody knew abt it except him and his friends but few days before i heard abt his affair from one of his cousin i felt why does he lie to me .I also got curious about knowing the kind of girl he fell in love with I asked him abt this and he told me that he was never intensly involved with this gril and he was the one to say no to her as he was interested in his career I felt a bit relieved to knw tht i was the first person he fell in love with and he was not serious abt tht girl when i told him this he said tht i should not make conclusions on his past reationship and should stick to the fact tht it has ended i told him how does it harm him if i do make conclusions and it gives me peace he said tht if i take it this way i will raise the isssue again and again and he wants to finish it
2007-06-07 23:43:33 · 12 answers · asked by kamya 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And you believe him? Ha. Think about it. He had an affair for 4-5yrs & he said he wasnt inlove with her. So, what kept him with her for sooooooo long?
2007-06-07 23:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by Aussie 1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hope that after all this that you don't put your kids through this arranged marriage custom. In this generation, people should marry one another because they love each other. Your husband loved someone else before you. Was it before your arrangement to get married? If it was after then he cheated on you. Engaged or arranged to get married, is the same thing. If this was arranged when you were both young, then it was a disaster. If it was done as adults then he should have been honest with you. If it was me and you are more beautiful than the person than the one he had the affair with, then I would lie too. Your husband did love someone before you and now he's married to you. You were strong to remain committed to you're arrangement, he wasn't. If you plan to remain with him, then forgive forget and don't bring it up again. If he's doing everything else to make the marriage work, help him. Good luck and smile!
2007-06-08 07:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Hilary R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not stay with someone for 4 to 5 years with out having feelings for them. You don't stay into something that long unless it there is more to it. The only reason he probably did not stay with her is because it would look bad on him or his family. But the past is the past and nothing you can do about it. The reason he lied to you is because he knew you would not marry him if you knew he had the affair or ongoing relationship. You can move on and let it go and hope he is still not lying to you or can take it as it is a lie that he told you. Not good to start out any relationship with a lie. But if it is over then try to move on if you trust him.
2007-06-08 06:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by Will 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I totally emphasis with you but what i would suggest that u clear the doubts by speaking to ur husband and if possible see if u can involve some elders or some person as a mediator to sort out the problem u have also try not to loose ur templer whild eal;ing with the situation. U can ask him what was the need for him to look at some other females.
2007-06-08 07:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by rajen s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, you are not seeing someone for 4 or 5 years, its a relationship, you were lied too. And your right he didn't have any reason to lie because the marriage was arranged, unless to can divorce on the grounds he lied. But if you are happy with your man then so be it, but I would really watch this man and what he does youmay find he is still playing around. Good Luck
2007-06-08 06:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
Maybe I understand your husband by not informing you about his past. It could well be that he does not want you to feel cheated. Anything which occured before your marriage should never be an obstacle in your life. If IF he cheats on you now, this is issue for some MAJOR concern. If not I would advise you just to put this issue back, and never ever recall this with your hubby.
Cheers
A
2007-06-08 06:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by amal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he's right you know.Boys should'nt discus previous affairs with thier current girl friend.Look i know you're disappointed,But it's done,what matters now is you're commitment to each other. Leave this,please.You'll only bring pain and sorrow to yourself and hurt to people you love
2007-06-08 06:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was before he married you, and is in his past. Let it go before you make both you and your husband miserable!! You could ruin a good marriage that way.
2007-06-08 06:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does this bother you so much? He married YOU not her. Do whatever it takes to let this go. He has done nothing wrong except tell you something to keep from hurting your feelings and as far as I can see this is only a problem if you make it one.
2007-06-08 06:51:49 · answer #9 · answered by jingles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you know the meaning of "PAST"?
If you make a big deal out of this former relation, you will be one of your husband's old relations, too.
2007-06-08 07:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by labrador_1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋