How to be good at talking?

Question

I don't feel that I have good conversation skills. I'm okay one on one with people, but I'm usually quiet in groups. I'm also not very good at giving advice or making other people feel better when they're upset. Does anyone have suggestion on how I can improve my skills? Do I read some book ? Take a class?

I work with teenage boys. Tonight I saw a coworker calm several boys down, get them to talk their feelings out, and then get them do what was right without threats, coercion and etc. I only witnessed part of it. I don't know all of what she said, but...She knew what to say, how to say it and etc. I would love to be able to do that. I'm not good at doing that with the boys or even with my friends/family. I don't know how to do that. I would love to be able to. I don't know if it's my choice of words or the way I say it or my body language or being too worried about saying the wrong thing or what....I want to get better at it.

Answer 1

If you're a good listener ........you'll be a better talker.
Most people don't listen to other people
, they just 1/2 listen and then blurt out their story

Answer 2

^ Maybe you over think it, just let it come from your heart, you have to learn to take chances.

Were you brought up in a reserved household where showing feelings wasn't encouraged? If so, that could be the reason why. If not, look deep inside, are you shy by nature, are you afraid you'll say the wrong thing? We have all said the wrong thing at times, we're only human.

Don't be afraid to take a chance, if you really want to help someone, just let them know you'll be there for them.

Taking courses and reading books are a good way to go, especially if this is a career choice. Whatever courses you might decide on, take psychology, it can actually help even if you change fields. I hope this helped, good luck.

Answer 3

You have to make yourself be truly interested in what people have to say, and what their real feelings are. Not everybody needs or wants your guidance, but everybody likes an audience.

You will then be able to be less worried about how you are perceived by others, and more focused on just seeing what makes folks tick. How do people who aren't at all like you go about their lives? Find out. Approach as a student, not as someone with all the answers.

Your intent comes first, and then the conversational skills will follow.

Answer 4

For skills, see if there is a "Toastmasters" in your area. You can check the local paper for clubs and activities.

If you are good one on one, then you can do that in a group setting. It's mostly nerves, but, once you get used to it, it isn't an issue any more. (Trust me on that one. I couldnt even pray in groups, even though everyone's eyes were (supposedly) closed; but, after several times at leading various groups, it pretty much got easier and easier).

Giving advice? Well, my advice is, be slow to give advice. Too many people are too quick to give advice, and usually don't know what they are talking about. You know what they say about opinions.
Instead, listen to people. People tend to want listeners more than advice givers. (You can trust me there too).

Answer 5

I agree with Ray when he says about listening. And if you are a good listener you don´t even have to be a good talker. Sometimes is harder to find someone you can talk to than those ones that give you "free advises" hard to follow by themselves.

None of us are good at everything.... You have your own virtues, just try to find them out and be good at these. Don´t take much care about others abilities probably you have some others you don´t know yet, but others know you have them.

Answer 6

Before you talk, listen. You can't answer a guestion before you know what the question is. You can' enter into a conversation if you don't know what it's about.
Watch, listen, think - then speak.