I've recently found out my partner uses porn and i feel uncomfortable with it and i dont know how to feel?

Question

Im 6 months pregnant and over the past months i have felt my sexual relationship has decreased a little with my partner and this is not from my end. I then recently found some porn on his computer and he admited that he occassionally looks at it, but that it is no reflection on how he feels about me and still desires me just as much. I dont know how to feel?

Answer 1

If it offends you, he needs to stop. It is that simple.

Answer 2

Tell your husband that this just isn't fair, respectful, or loving to you.
Here you are pregnant--a condition that takes a toll on your body, and you feel that you've lost control of your body too, as this baby grows inside you. It's really not fair at all that he would do such a thing at anytime, much less when you are pregnant. How disrespectful to the woman carrying his child! How selfish!
Don't listen to all these people who say "all guys do it" because they don't all do it. I am so sick and tired of reading that in this forum. There are those of us that aspire to higher standards than the masses, so don't listen to them...you've risen above their b.s.
I think you should say it straight out---"here I am carrying your child, and I still desire you and want sex, and you are using porn partly because those women aren't pregnant, and I feel used, unappreciated, and taken for granted" and see if the guy has a conscience and will stop his behavior and start loving your body again instead.
I'll never agree with all these people that think acting out a pretend sexual encounter with a porn fantasy when married and devoted is ok behavior...never never never!

Answer 3

Don't worry about him using porn most men do, he will still have sexual feelings towards you but as you're pregnant he will worry about harming the baby if he has sex with you, most men do, its got nothing to do with the size of you he will just be thinking of you, he will need reassuring more than you realize and even when you re not pregnant he will probably use porn but he still loves you and when men masturbate to porn its only fantasy, women are just more imaginative in their fantasies than men and use their minds as a form of stimulation rather than visuals such as porn he isn't seeing anyone else so let him watch the porn hes not going anywhere ,i know you probably don't feel attractive at the moment but to him you're more beautiful than ever, you're carrying his baby, good luck for the future.

Answer 4

Its natural to feel the way you do! Your hormones are all over the place and i suspect you might even feel a bit unloved !, But there is away out of this feeling and that is to get hold of some porn and watch it together..

I know you may not like the idea, but if nothing else you'll be close to him and have a damn good laugh at those stupid porn film plots..
Have fun!

Answer 5

Men are visual creatures. His looking at porn is pretty much the same as you reading a romance novel or fantasizing about Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp.

It isn't about you. It doesn't mean that he wants someone else. It doesn't mean that he's unsatisfied in the bedroom. It doesn't mean anything at all...only that he looks at it from time to time.

If you've read a romance novel or mentally undressed Justin Timberlake, it doesn't mean that you want a different relationship or to have another man in the bedroom...it's just a little fantasy in your head. Porn is that for most men.

Since this is your first child, daddy-to-be is a tad worried about his little one's safety. He's worried about your comfort and not "squashing" you, too. So, it's quite common for him to give himself some relief. He means it when he says he loves you and finds you attractive.

The timing to find it though...yeah, that has to suck. At 6 months pregnant, most of us don't exactly feel our most attractive. All kinds of strange things happen to your self image when you realize your "innie" is becoming an "outie".

The hormones running riot through you don't help right now, either. Please don't let it upset you too much. It doesn't mean a thing.

Answer 6

I havent read the answers you have had to your question but of course you feel confused about this and a little bit worried too. He sounds to me like he loves you and cares for you and he probably was feeling a bit frisky and thought why not it wont hurt to look at a bit or porn. Its hard for him too as you are pregnant and he doesnt want to feel like he is pressuring you into having sex as you are carry his baby and he repects that. Dont try to read to much into this I think you guys are okay. I honestly think he was just curious nothing more. good luck with the baby x

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong in what he is doing,not everyone enjoys having sex with a pregnant partner.
Its an inbuilt thing that some have in fear of hurting the mum or child,and of course some go off their partners as they are not what they was before getting larger.
You need to talk to him without getting the wrong end of the stick because of the hormone imbalance and jumping to the wrong conclusion to what he said and meant.
Not all are like me and find pregnant woman very sexy,all-though i have had a job convincing my partner.

Answer 8

at least you are being honest about how you feel. Most people will tell you it is no big deal, but that doesn't stop you from feeling how you feel. Let me tell you how a man works. Men are visually stimulated. Unlike women who have to be emotionally stimulated for sex, men get turned on by looking. That's why the porn business is so big. The fact that you're pregnant probably means you've put on a little weight in the tummy area, which is perfectly normal. However some guys, especially if they're young don't understand that, and will equate "pregnant" with "fat." I hate it when I hear a guy tell his girl she's fat just because she's pregnant. Makes me want to slap him and say, IT'S A BABY! but anyway, not saying your man does this on purpose, but because guys are so visually stimulated, he may be doing it subconsciously, and he may not even know himself that he's feeling less attracted to you. If he loves you and the relationship is fine otherwise, then I wouldn't worry too much about it, just tell him to try to not look at porn when you're around because it makes you uncomfortable.

Answer 9

I am 42, married 17 years....I love my wife and she is gorgeous but...she isn't really that much into sex. I hate porn but confess to lapses...I think its a corrosive thing, not good at all....someone once said that our sexuality has been taken over by the pornographers...thats true I think...I sometimes which there was an alternative to porn that could provide release but which was somehow not as corrupting...can't think what that would be tho...sometimes i have 'allowed' myself to just look at nudity and keep off porn but you tend to end up looking eventually...so its best to abstain I think. But I think all men who sincerely try to abstain will have occasional lapses. Maybe he's one of us? I think habitual porn usage is dangerous...leads to more and more craving and dependency, like drug use...?

Answer 10

This is the most natural thing in the world n some people say it spices things up ,my partner is the same at 1 time in fact i think he got obsessed with it ,ye it does make ye feel sh**y ,now odd times well watch them 2gether ,trust me ask him why n tell him how ye feel bout it it will be rite in the end

Answer 11

My current partner looks and porn and tells me he masterbates regularly. I dont mind this at all. He is very open about it and I dont make a deal about it. Our sex life is very healthy and if he feels the need to relieve himself when Im not about who am I.
However......
My previous partner didnt want to sleep with me when I was pregnant as he thought it was weird. Our sex life was then non existant. It never recovered.
I would recommend that you dont make a deal about it. Its not a reflection on you at all, its a boy thing. I would tell him you dont have a problem but to remember that you have needs and would like him still be intimate with you.