I hate feeling normal. It is just so dull, boring... I just can't think the same way...
When I am depressed, I am tired, "down", even maybe a little suicidal, but I can think! My creativity really gets going, and I just haven't found anything that can beat the feeling of being able to create things like that. I just can't give it up...
I don't feel quite like myself when I am not depressed. I have the suicide attempts (and the scars) behind me.
It isn't bipolar. None of those meds work, and I don't have the manic episodes.
I am most myself when I am creating something, and I can't create anything when I am not depressed; but, the depression can't possibly be healthy for me, can it?
2007-06-07 22:31:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, I feel consistently good when I am not depressed- not much bad, and less stress.
But I don't feel great either.
With the depression, I am consistently feeling awful, but I do have those "thrills".
2007-06-07 22:32:46 · update #1
The SSRIs do work, but I stopped taking them.
Sure, I might get suicidal again, and I am depressed again.. but the rewards just seem to outweigh the dangers.
2007-06-07 22:35:27 · update #2
Well, you are certainly not uninformed about your issue. if the SSRI's work, then it's probably straight depression you're dealing with. You probably already know that going on and off those meds is a really bad idea unless you are doing it slowly, a bit at a time.
I'm a psychologist and I used to be a full time artist in New York so I do understand about the creativity thing...not much creativity is born of joy, it sometimes seems. but I think the other person who answered has a point...sometimes when we are "content" (such as when we are successfully being treated with SSRI's) we stop taking healthy risks such as going new places, meeting new people, attending weird new events like Buddhist poetry readings or whatever might be meaningful to us...and our creativity runs dry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that depression and suicidality are a dangerous place to be, and a really stressful place for your loved ones. if you can possibly be on the SSRI's and make an effort to still strike out and be weird and new, you might be able to have the best of both worlds.
Best of luck to you - talented person. : )
2007-06-07 22:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by neuropsychologist 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been deeply depressed and suicidal before and I have to say that it's a place I never want to go back to. You can get those creative juices flowing from peace and joy as well. I do alot of artwork such as sculpting, drawing and painting and when I feel good I can create all day. When I was truly depressed, I couldn't even function well enough to think much less be creative. I'm not sure what you are experiencing is true depression since it seems to make you feel good. I just can't imagine going through life that depressed. It seems like such a waste. To each their own.
2007-06-08 06:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, but I gotta tell you that depression is impossible to be healthy for you. However, I am quite amazed when you can create somethin' better compared to when you are just being normal. That's is what most people don't have! When I feel depressed, I can't even focus on other things! Creating somethin' when I'm depressed is almost impossible to be achieved. Is quite hard to understand why would a sweet girl like you will hate feeling normal? Normal is the best if compared to depression! I hope you will get over with this. I like to see a sweet girl like you that is not suicidal!!!
2007-06-08 08:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the depression allows you to focus more and slows down your mind to put you in a better place to create. I takes a little rain to make the flowers grow, sweetie.
2007-06-08 05:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Bernstein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I used to think that but then I realised I was only content becuase I was not "experimenting" with life anymore. I felt comforted in not taking social risks and not being challenged. Anyway you look at it, dperession is as depression does IMO.
2007-06-08 05:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To a certain point I know what you mean. It may not be mentally healthy but it has it's rewards.
2007-06-08 05:36:26 · answer #6 · answered by Sunset 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are such a romantic. At least that is what I call those things.
2007-06-08 05:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by mousehth72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to quote the stills:
the logic will break your heart, be brave..
<3
2007-06-08 11:16:29 · answer #8 · answered by BrightEyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋