i'm 26 yrs old, married to a 38 yr old guy for 2 yrs now and had a son. recently, i met a guy of same age in my work who's also married for 2months now, wherein his wife went back to taiwan for work. we're attracted to each other and i thought ours is just a mere flirting. as i have observed, my feelings for this guy is becoming deeper each day. i must admit that i have problems with my husband because he's jobless right now. should i pursue these growing feelings i have for the other guy since i feel happy and problem free whenever i see him? please help... kinda confuse. thanks!
2007-06-07 19:29:03 · 30 answers · asked by SASSYXXXGIRL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your married lady! So, knock it off! His wife is away and that does not give you the invitation to feel welcome to her man. That is just shady as hell!
You should focus on your own marriage and stop making lame azz excuses as to why you feel it would be okay to screw around.
It does not matter a lick how you feel.
And a bit of a warning, if your husband finds out, you will lose your son and have to pay alimony as well as child support. Not to mention risking your job over a piece of azz that may not even be as good as you have worked it all up in your mind. Grow up! Stop acting like a whore in heat!
2007-06-07 19:38:32 · answer #1 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should NOT pursue any feelings you have towards another man as long as you are still married to your husband. You have a responsiblity to concentrate on your marriage, if there are problems there look at fixing them, rather than replacing your husband, especially since you have a child. Marriage isn't always fun and games, that's where the "for better or for worse" part comes into the vows you made, sometimes it's worse. Anyone can hang around for the better part, but a real marriage can also thrive during the worse, it just takes more effort. Get marriage counseling, support your husband, do whatever he needs you to do so that he can get a job soon. Don't go looking outside of your marriage to try and fix a problem that's in it--unless you're seeing a professional therapist.
2007-06-08 02:48:05 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my goodness - I don't think I could tell you what to do bc/ it sounds like you have already made up your mind. To me, if you haven't discussed this relationship with your husband than you have already cheated on him. If you don't believe me, turn the tables - how would you feel if your husband admitted to you he was attracted to another woman? When you are married, you are supposed to not even entertain the THOUGHT of being with another person. If that were me, I'd do whatever it took - even go so far as quit my job and move or work at a place where only women work if the temptation is that bad. Please, tell your husband how you are feeling. Either you can work it out or get a divorce, but the grass is never greener on the other side - at least if he knows before the divorce he won't be able to hold infidelity over you for the rest of your life. Finally, your son...have you thought about him? This will put an incredible amount of doubt in his head and could possibly end up with him choosing to cheat on his wife later on in life based on the precedent you are setting. Sorry to be harsh. I'm not trying to yell or be evil - just hope you will be smart about this bc/ you are playing with fire.
2007-06-08 02:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by christie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how infatuated you feel right now, you must remember that both of you are married. Marriage is a life long commitment, so do not for a second think of anything that could potentially ruin both marriages and break the marriage vow. Remember, you made a vow on that day when the wedding bells ring, and a vow is a solemn promise... an oath that you will for the rest of your life be faithful to that person. Furthermore, what you're feeling right now is infatuation, not true love... Infatuation is a short term and often foolish admiration, it's no where near the value of your marital relationship. Think it over... I sincerely hope you come to your senses and break it off with your co-worker before any infidelity is committed. Best bet for this is to break it off or switch jobs if the two of you can't break it off... Nothing should stand in your way and the person that you vowed to love for the rest of your life. This should not even be a choice, but an obligation. Keep your vow and save your marriage!
Best of luck,
Bacchus
2007-06-08 02:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by Bacchus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all relationships at the beginning give u a physical feeling of ectacy , thats y its a gr8 feeling u are going thru right now.
what you need to do is look withing urself and find out what you need to do to make yourself happy , you r looking for an outside source to fulfill your inner weakness. What you don t want to do is weigh was best and look at the reality of the situation. if you do seriously , u will b able to answer your own question. If you are having problems with your husband you need to solve or face that first , lookign outward to distract it is not maturity . take it one day at a time . first stop all contact then look within , meet a counsellor if need be , solve your inner insecurities and also your marital issues , and then move on . Dont forget you have a little boy thats needs a foundation thats solid and peaceful, dont take that right from him.
all the best and move on.
2007-06-08 04:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by me k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because your husband is jobless and so can't probably pamper you right now, if you get attracted to another man (who is probably using you as his sex partner since his wife is not available), you need to take a hard and deep look at yourself and your relationship with your husband.
In any case, if your value system allows cheating, go ahead. If not, stay away. If you and the other man really love each other, first become free by getting divorce.
I am old fashioned and my advice will not appeal to many.
2007-06-08 02:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by Swamy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Temptation is put out there for a reason and it is a test to see if you give into that. Yea it feels great now and it is supposed to confuse you. But it could also come back and bite you in the ***. If you love your husband don't pursue this and let your feelings get you and the guy at work in something you regret, you are only opening a door for your husband to think about his "options" too.
2007-06-08 02:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by deeontae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Morally, if you have any, you should be putting your energies into your marriage~~assist hubby finding a job~~and not be spending any time with this other married man.
Take those feelings you are feeling for this new guy, and put them on your husband, as you have promised to do in your marriage vows. Anything else than that, you need to get a divorce and be free to pursue anyone you wish.
2007-06-08 02:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For better or worse. does that ring a bell? Hello, are you still there? You made a committment when you got married. what happened to that? You are only thinking of yourself and what you want for yourself. You and your husband should help each other in rough times, not run around on him when things get bad. Wake up and remember you have a son. If you are running around on your husband, you are also being disloyal to your son. You and your husband are his security so take care of him and forget about the other guy.
2007-06-08 02:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all,
it sounds like
you got married and had a kid
way too young
and not prepared for what marriage is really about.
secondly your son should be a priority
over this coworker.
stop being so self-centered pls.
thirdly marriage has its ups & downs
and you need to be more supportive
to your husband.
it is easier to escape your life
by flirting with a guy other than your hubby
than to deal with the realities of your life.
unless your husband is more awful
than just being jobless,
try working things out with your hubby.
2007-06-08 03:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋