Why do men continuously berate the person they r with?

Question

Say a man is constantly saying that u r fat, stupid and that you never so anything right. They threaten things like, If you don't like the way things are then leave or wait until you meet my next girlfriend...He says things like this and yet he never really makes the move to end the relationship. Is it possible that by putting his partner down he makes himself feel better about himself? More superior?

Is it possible that they act his way because the way they were raised or is just something they have acquired through the years?

Answer 1

if he is that verbal with the put-downs he is verbally abusive. If you are in that situation please seek help.
I do know of many men who make comments like 'why did you buy orange juice instead of apple jiuce'. Like everything we do is just short of correct. And we never get a thankyou.Another one--that would have been a good meal if you used more cheese. aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

Answer 2

I don't think all men do this, so I wouldn't be so quick to judge the world based on one person. But in all honesty, if a guy continuously berates and mistreats you while not making any move to end the relationship... Then you should take the initiative to make the move and end it yourself. Why stay with someone who treats you badly and doesn't appreciate you? So do yourself a favor and find someone who loves you and knows how to treat you right. There are plenty of fishes in the sea, don't be stuck with a backward swimming lobster who doesn't see you for who you are. As for the reason why he chooses to berate you, I wouldn't doubt that he feels that way about himself and decides to take it out on you... So find a true gentleman who will not berate you to make himself feel better... And remember, one rotten apple doesn't mean all apples are rotten.

Best wishes,
Bacchus

Answer 3

This guy is a controller. He puts her down so that she has no self esteem left. He convinces her that she'll never get a guy better than him, and she falls for it. As it turns out, he knows she can do better, and WILL do better if only she can get herself away from this loser.

To answer your question, "Why do men continuously berate the person they r with?" ALL men don't do this. In fact, MOST men don't do this. Most men have respect for the person their with. Yep, there are a few out there who ruin it for the nice guys, but that doesn't mean there aren't nice guys out there.

If you're the person whose being berated, then tell the guy it's over and close the door behind you. He'll try and get you back by saying all the right things, making promises to change, etc. He'll change for about a week, maybe even a month, but he'll go back to his controlling self. To prevent that, stop taking his calls, don't go places where he hangs out, don't go to his house and don't let him into yours. Believe me, after you've been away from his garbage for a while, you'll get your self esteem back and realize you deserve better.

Best of luck.

Answer 4

Why would they make the move to end a relationship where they can get away with things like that? They know they can do and say what ever because she doesn't make a move to leave either. Ofcourse it makes him feel good because she would put up with all this just to be with him and still try to please him.... he must be special (in his mind) . He will sooner or later escalate because he thinks he can do anything and she will still stay with him.
Not all men are like this. Just like all women aren't like the ones who stay with men like this.
If this is your man, ask yourself if you had a mom, daughter or sister, what would you want her to do? then do that because you deserve better treatment than this.
If you saw some one yelling and berating a child , or even a dog like this what would you be thinking? Your instinct would be to want to save the victim of the tirade wouldn't it? Well if it's you, save that victim by walking away a winner. If you have kids with a person like this do not let them learn this behavior is acceptable and normal, they will pass it on.

Answer 5

Insecurity. If this is your bf or husband leave him. You don't deserve that sort of treatment.

Most men are not this way. Any man that is does so because he's too insecure about himself. He takes it out on his significant other instead of himself. She's not anorexically skinny so he's afraid he'll be seen as inferior for having a "fat" girl friend. She's stupid because he lacks the ability and intelligence to explain it to her in terms she can understand. She never gets anything right because he's so desperately afraid of getting anything wrong that it makes him feel more like a man to berate her for something he fears failing at.

He won't leave because he has her where he wants her. He threatens to because he knows it scares her but he won't leave because he's found his perfect whipping post. He can unleash all his own anger at himself and the world on her. He's gonna hold on to that as long as he can. It only ends when she leaves. He knows he can prevent that by getting her to believe all the things he says about her. If he can make her as insecure as he is then she will stay because she believes he's right and no one else will want her.

A complete lie, of course.

Putting down his partner gives him a false sense of strength. He does it most when he is feeling most weak and vulnerable. He takes the anger and hatred he feels about himself and directs it toward his partner. Some part of him does actually realize how sick and twisted this is but it only makes him feel weaker so he reacts even more violently.

Whether they are male or female a person like this is very likely to resort to violence eventually. Their egos are just to frail to withstand even their own questions about themselves. Anger, rage, and hatred are the only way they know to be strong. Even if they never do resort to violence the hurts they inflict with words cause every bit as much pain.

People lie this need to get professional help. No matter how much we love them we can't help them. We need to leave them in order to protect ourselves.

Answer 6

Yes, he is giving his ego a giant boost and truthfully you don't need that. It's his feeble, unintelligent attempts to degrade you. I would definitely take him up on his offer. Leave him first and tell him before you walk out the door that he now has a chance to find that new girlfriend.

Watch his jaw drop. You don't need someone like that in your life. I would certainly not let the relationship continue.

Did you know that the things he says to you could manifest later on in your life as DISease? A nervous disorder or worse? Don't stay with this guy. You need to think more of yourself.

I did that with my second husband. He was emotionally abusive, then it turned physical. But he only had to slug me across the face once and I left him right then and there. I packed up my truck with everything that was mine and took off. I slapped sense into him, but by then it was too late. The next time he was in contact with me was through my attorney having him served with the papers at work.

Believe me...no relationship is worth that.

Answer 7

You need to kick this very insecure,ego maniac,control freak to the curb! and the faster you do, the faster you can find a man that is mentally stable and will treat you like you think you should be treated.The one you got now is a ticking time bomb of self destruction and these type of people always take somebody with them when they ''blow up''. You need to set some higher standards for yourself then you have now and stick to them and life will get good, real good.

Answer 8

If this is a question about you, then why are you asking this question. Leave him.
Not all man do ! keep looking.

Answer 9

those behaviors are all classic ways to control someone by making them feel inferior -- luckey to have the abuse!