She wants to remain friends etc and who knows perhaps get togther again but it hurts me too much seeing her and not holdin g her SHES MY WIFE and i love her so much,so if i just thumbed a lift anywhere then any surgestions,i cant do this,it hurts too much please help.
2007-06-07 18:06:05 · 7 answers · asked by steve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when we were both in the uk she was confined to a wheel chair for three years so i took her everywhere we knew each other for 16 years now married for four this july4th we came to the us got married and were in love,now shes walking and working and she has independence again but she found she doesnt need me and thinks she shouldnt have to explain every time she dissapears for hours on end,i need a wife that needs me,not a part time wife.
i love her so much its hard not having her here.
i`m 48 years old and shes 39.
she is so much out of character right now.
i cannot just watch my lovely wife flirting with other guys hoping that she`ll come back to me it hurts way too much.
i need to get away from here so i dont see it.
its a small town of about 900 folk in the mountains and she grew up here,her family is here .
my heart has always ruled my head its how i`m built.
where can i go ,please answer constuctively.
2007-06-07 19:11:37 · update #1
You should remain friends for now...tell her once in awhile (like once a month) how you still love her and that you respect her needed space you just want her to know how you feel. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but that is your chance of getting her back...best of luck.
2007-06-07 18:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are times when a person can actually pull the blinders off and see the error of their ways. You are going to seek Professional help and, if you are serious, you had better. She does want this right? --I think, if I was you, I would have a session with a psychiatrist. Ask your wife what she thinks about this. If your foot hurts you go to a foot doctor right? --You have made it clear that "you" have problems that you fear exacted damage to your relationship. It appears you have been trying to make amends. I would tell you to do everything in your power to find the right solution. It is not the love you should be concerned with. She is still with you so I feel this is self-evident. She loves you as she probably would be gone if not right? --You need to talk to her and question the smothering and the texting part. Ask her where she feels you are concerning reparations. Does she answer everytime you text? --It seems she likes the way certain things are going, probably loves that you are helping now, also loves that there are less fights, and I assure you loves the attention. If you keep going you might actually make yourself a keeper. --An idea that you might consider. Sit down with her without interruptions and have an update talk. Explain your actions. Ask "her" if you are going too far. Listen to what she has to say. Make sure you tell her that you just know you screwed up and do not want to lose your love and lifemate. --I have a husband that has been doing things like you are now doing for over 32(33 in March) years. Of course he is the bread earner so I do not expect him to do so much. He buys me special "dress up" clothes and I am happy to wear them. We certainly have date nights and I do go as his girlfriend. I love doors being opened for me, the flowers, the attention, and the love. --People spend billions on XXX video's for fun and fantasy and miss the actual living that can happen. Did you know that womens romance novel's probably sell as much as XXX video's. Women want romance and after the chase it does not seem long that, kids, work, life-if you will- puts a damper on it. --Go on these "dates" once a month at least. On occation, 3 or 4 times a year, get a babysitter and do the hotel date. Your relationship can not do anything but get better as your sex life certainly will. When is the last time you went skinny dipping at night? --Remember you are not trying to win her but win her over. You already have her. Is it ok to make amends for how many years of neglect? Sure it is. You are also right not to want to smother her. --You may have found your "best friend" that was living with you all along right? --Now! Let's see how you are doing so far. Do you guys go camping? How is the "family" things working out? I only say this because neglect is usually not just a single instance. What do you guys do as a family? Do you go fishing, camping, swimming on a regular basis? You affirm your dedication to her also through the two boys. I do not mean just taking them to ball games but thigs as a family. When is the last time you had a boys night out? This is something that grows the bond between you and them. It also gives her time to herself or even a night with the girlfriends. I am just stating this because it is not all about just you and her right? Whew! It is a good thing this sites is free because you have just received several thousands of dollars worth of advice but more than that you could have a life time of happiness.
2016-04-01 09:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can be painful talk to her and find out why she left you and what you can do to make things better so she will come back home tell her that you love her and that you can't be without her tell her you will do whatever it takes to get her to come back home to you. even if that means going to hell and back. maybe it will be something that can be repaired i hope so. until she decides whether she wants to come back nor not be there for her and let her know that you will be there and also remind her every now and again that you love her and only want her and no one else . i hope for the best for you and pray that she comes back to you . i understand the hurt that you are feeling and if she doesn't come back it will hurt like hell like you just want to crawl up in a hole and die but with time all wounds heal. remember that ,
2007-06-07 18:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would get some therapy. I left my ex husband and he had no idea what hit him. He was always gone on the weekends surfing and stayed gone all weekend long. I got tired of it and left with the kids. We got divorced in 1999 and I have been married to a wonderful man now for six years. Life goes on.
2007-06-07 18:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Rochelle N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some sleep.
Things have a way of working themselves out if you love her deeply, this I know.
Just tell her that when you see her next!
Until then...get some sleep. It's never as bad as it seems.
2007-06-07 18:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what you did to her to make her leave. When a women is fed up there is nothing you can do about it. TRUST ME.
2007-06-07 18:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
seems she forgot being married to you she is probley having an affair while you wait on her to come around pal get a.life she has. in my opion?
2007-06-07 18:34:20 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋