When a friend confides in you and asks that you keep it a secret - do u keep the secret or tell it to someone?

Question

Do you keep some secrets and disclose others? If so, how do you decide which to keep and which to tell. Also, what if something is told to you and you just feel like you have to get it off your chest and tell it to someone else, what do you do?

I feel the need to clarify after seeing some responses. This is a general, hypothetical question. It does not represent my situation. I did not ask for advice. I simply asked how do YOU act in this type of a situation and under which conditions, etc. I'm curious as to how the majority of people handle this type of situation. I am NOT looking for advice. Thank you.

Answer 1

keep it if you are a good friend

Answer 2

Trust is easy to get but hard to earn back once lost. I think that as long as your friend is not in any danger you should keep their secret. Truth comes out in the end anyway. If you have to get it off your chest write it in a letter then burn it. If it is something you can tell your mom, confide in her. Moms are usually pretty good at keeping secrets and understanding that you had to tell someone. I am grown but my mom is my best friend when it comes to things like this. If no one is going to hurt keep the secret. It may be that your friend just had to get it off their chest, respect that. Don't be the person who blabs secrets. Without details I can't tell you if this is one of the times you tell, but if your friend is getting hurt, thinking about hurting someone or in trouble with the law--I'd keep the secret.

Answer 3

A true friend would keep the secret. If you tell someone else her secret then she will eventually find out. Especially if you have a big group of friends. Also, do you really want to risk losing her as a friend because you couldnt keep a secret?

Answer 4

First you have to be careful if that person dosent have secrets about you, cause if they find out you told their secret then theyll reveal your secrets too. Sometimes if a secret from another person is eating at you then you could confide in someone else. But that other person has to be someone you trust completly be very careful. Anyway most secrets dont stay secrets they get out eventually.

Answer 5

Keep everything that a real friend tells u! she/he trusted u with it, so y ur gonna go n tell someone and maybe ruin ur friendship?...its true that r some things that u just feel like u need 2 tell 2 somebody else, like u said get it out of ur chest if its something that is a matter of life and death DO IT! u never know what could happen, otherwise DONT! write it down, open ur old diary and write it there! dont go nuts n tell everybody...

Answer 6

You probably want to keep most of those secrets. Otherwise you're friend won't trust you anymore. I mean, who wants a friend that tells everyone about your secret life? And if a secret is that big, you may want to talk to your friend about it an nobody else. He/she must trust you a lot, so don't go around chatting with random people about it. They might not keep it either.

Answer 7

That person probably fought long and hard before deciding to tell you something and since they asked you to keep it a secret that is the least you could do for them. I'd only tell if there was a chance that this person was threatening to harm themselves or possibly others. Otherwise....that secret must DIE with you!

Answer 8

Yes, I really do keep it a secret. I listen, give advice, but do not repeat.

You do what you feel is the right thing to do especially if you think someone might get hurt if you dont tell.

Answer 9

you keep secrets UNLESS--your friend is in danger, someone else is in danger, etc. you will know if it's something an adult should handle.
if you need to "get it off your chest" so badly...tell it to your pet if you have one. don't betray your friend's trust. imagine how you would feel if it was the other way around.
if she had an addiction problem, or eating disorder, or a 35 year old internet boyfriend...scarey, dangerous, harmful stuff like that--needs to be told. everything else, keep it sacred.

Answer 10

What kind of "friend" would you be if you told someone??? I keep it a secret, and in some instances, tell them NOT to disclose the information to me, so when "it gets out" they won't think I betrayed our friendship

Answer 11

If it was something that my friend needed help with and I couldn't provide that help, I'd seek others that could help my friend and confide in them. If it was something that could hurt my friend, I'd reveal the secret to others that could help my friend or I would try to help my friend myself.

In situations like these, an old wive's saying answers your question perfectly. "Sometimes the right thing to do and the hardest thing to do, are one in the same". Which means that usually the thing you have the hardest time bringing yourself to do, is also the right thing that should be done.