Say he is a hunter, fisher, etc and spends a lot of time doing his thing? Is it selfish of his wife to want to spend time with him doing the things she likes to do or even the things he likes to do? Is it wrong of her to want him home once in awhile for a whole weekend without his brother exspecially since he has been gone for the last 2 weeks, and after awhile it wears on her and she gets mad at him for always going away? I am just not sure anymore where I should be in this relationship? Is it me? He don't see it and how much it hurts me to know he is gone, he don't feel he is gone and when asked politly he gets irate about it and blames me and says i hate his brother, honestly I don't hate his brother I am very jelous of the time he spends with his brother and he could care less if this is ending his marriage of 10 years and relationship of 16 years and his kids lives. I am just not sure where to go and I can't stop feeling as though all of this is my fault.
2007-06-07 16:26:54 · 9 answers · asked by baby_blue6960 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't want to hurt you further, but do you really believe that he's with his brother for 2 consecutive weeks? No pun intended, but something sounds a little fishy to me.
2007-06-07 16:32:58 · answer #1 · answered by Talaupa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a friend that understands your problem alittle? A sister? Another family in the same situation? If so, why can't you make weekend trips to , say, Six Flags or other interesting places with the kids? The stuff at home wouldn't get done, too bad , eh? And when he gets home you will be sooo tired from your weekend that as soon as the kids are taken care of and in bed , so will you be. A few weekends in a row like this may show him that he's loosing out on things.
Try it . You may be liking it and getting a tag a long husband. Good luck.
2007-06-07 23:42:51 · answer #2 · answered by reinformer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you have to careful with absolutes. He spends the WHOLE weekend with his brother and NOTHING with his wife and kids? If that's absolutely true, then there is definitely a problem, but be sure you aren't exaggerating..
It sounds like you need relationship counseling. He isn't hearing it from you, so give him a chance to hear from a 3rd party.
On the other hand, purple's comment was interesting. I hadn't thought of that, but she's right. It does sound fishy... Few spend that much time with their brother.
2007-06-07 23:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate that feeling, like you're crazy for being upset. Like there's something wrong with YOU because you're getting mad over something so trivial.
Well its not. Its monumental. Its family and its responsibilities.
Is there any way you can get him to sit down and talk to you about it? Tell him how much its hurting you and the things it makes you think about. Use sentences that start with "I"...as in "I feel like I never get to spend time with the person I want to spend time with the most"
assure him that you don't want him to stop doing the things he loves but that you want to be a part of those things.
Being with someone means being a part of their life in every way, especially in marriage. I would hope that would come naturally for people who love each other.
He might not even realize how he's really making you feel.
listen to his point of view and be open minded and calm.
if he turns out to be an asshole about it well then its time to make some serious changes.
good luck <3
its not your fault ;)
2007-06-07 23:36:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not married to his brother and if you like the brother why not invite him to be around the house on weekends but just him and the brother? this sounds very fishy to me..I get the feeling there is more to this than what you see. i would pay attention to what it is exactly that he is doing with his brother that you and your kids can not tag along. it sounds to me like there is a woman somewhere in all this mess. I'm sorry that is what i think. if you think I'm wrong and want to give me more details, email me...
2007-06-07 23:39:00 · answer #5 · answered by La Tia Rini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how this could be your fault. It sounds like you're just reacting to his actions. For you to want to spend time with your husband is really wonderful. I would really have a heart to heart with him and outline all the details like you have for us, and explain the toll it is taking on you and your children. Maybe even consider counseling because they could and guide him, and remind him of his priorities as a husband and father while also balancing the brotherly aspect.
2007-06-07 23:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by ღஜJuliஜღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, whoa, whoa. None of this is your fault. Park that bad attitude right now. You have told him how you feel and apparently he doesn't care; in fact, he tries to confuse the issue by saying you don't like his brother. Please think about what you want. How do you want your future to be? Some relationships just aren't worth preserving, so think this one through.
2007-06-07 23:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by rosebeau46 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my ex...
notice i said ex
he would be gone every night and all weekend, hunting fishing, whatever... after 16 years of marriage it was over
he wishes he had done better now, but Oh Well...
2007-06-07 23:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, put your foot down, he is not married to his brother. he should only have one weekend to himself, he is very selfish.
tell him this is stopping now, i would actually take very serious measures.
2007-06-07 23:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋