How many guys would consider going out with a girl who already had kids. Would you even consider dating her because I know it's probably tough being with someone who has kids and not by you. Because I have 3kids and 2 babydaddy's and I'm done with them they give me less hope on a good man and they always throw at me that no guy is going to consider dating me with 3 kids. I want to hear from a guys point of view, and be honest!
2007-06-07 15:51:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For the record I am 25 and my children are 9, 6, and 7 1/2 months.
2007-06-08 15:20:10 · update #1
OK, I knew a woman that had 4 (count 'em...4) boys age 9 to 13. I was scared to death to get involved with her. I finally decided to give it a try because I had known her for 2 years and I really liked her. We went out on New Year's Eve 1986. We fell madly in love with each other, and we were married 7 years later. We stayed madly in love with one another for 12 more years. She passed away two days after our 12th anniversary from cancer complications. My wife was a wonderful and genuine woman, and I loved her very much.
Yes, there is hope for you. I have to believe that love can happen for anyone. I don't know when it will happen for you, but don't listen to those heals.
2007-06-07 16:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH THIS IS A BIG ONE, THE YOUNGER THE GUY IS THE MORE LIKELY HE IS GOING TO EXCEPT YOU. THE OLDER FASHIONED GUYS PROBABLY WON'T. IT DEPENDS A LOT ON THE FAMILY THEY COME FROM TOO. IF YOU EVER MEET THEIR RELATIVES AND THEY SHOW ANY SIGN OF NOT LIKING YOU. EITHER LET THE GUY KNOW YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY OR END THAT RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE TALKING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THE FAMILY WILL BUD IN AND RUIN THE RELATIONSHIP. THAT'S IF HE ALLOWS IT. THIS IS PERHAPS THE FIRST CONVERSATION YOU HAVE TO HAVE WITH SOMEONE YOU CONSIDER DATING SERIOUSLY. BECAUSE A LOT OF GUYS WILL ALSO SAY THEY ARE OK WITH IT JUST FOR A TEMPORARY HOOK UP. BUT NOT ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME. BUT WHATEVER YOUR DECSISION IS AND WHO EVER YOU DATE, ONE THING MUST BE FOR SHURE YOU DO NOT TRUST NONE OF THEM WITH YOUR KIDS. VERY IMPORTANT. IF YOUR KIDS ARE ACTING STRANGE DURRING YOUR RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THEM AND SEE THAT EVERYTHING IS OK. THERE ARE A LOT OF SICK PEOPLE THESE DAYS THAT ENTER RELATIONSHIPS JUST TO HAVE "PERVERSIONS OR MOLEST CHILDREN"... SO BE VERY CAREFULL WITH THAT. DON'T GET YOUR HOPES DOWN BECAUSE ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE DIFFICULT SO THEY ALL NEED WORK. AS LONG AS EVERYONE'S THOUGHTS ARE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION AND THERE, AND THE MORE COMMUNICATION IN THE RELATIONSHIP, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS TO WORK.GOOD LUCK.. ONE GOOD HINT TO LET YOU KNOW IF A GUY HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOU HAVING KIDS IS THAT WHEN YOU TELL HIM IF HE THINKS FOR A WHILE, NOT A LONG TIME BUT FOR SECONDS. OR IF HE LOOKS AWAY FOR A SECOND OR IF HE STUTTERS. IF THERE'S AN AKWARD SMILE, THAT MAY BE A SIGN TOO.. AND LET HIM KNOW YOUR KIDS COME FIRST. THAT MAY HELP YOU SEE WHAT KIND OF GUY HE IS. SO IF HE ARGUES THAT OR LOOKS DISPLEASED BY THAT THEN LEAVE HIM DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
2007-06-07 16:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody will tell you NO straightaway so there are additional considerations.
For dating and free sex, no guys with itch will hesitate. Just don't expect marriage.
For marriage, now the serious question is if you are marriage material. Your past record is poor, no matter what you say or justify so either your judgment in picking guys is poor or you are hard to get along with. So chances are you are drawn to men who treat you the same as before.
Eligible men (responsible and financially stable) are in demand. Some of them have kids so they won't say no to women with kids. But integrating two families together is a major challenge so the man would definitely look for someone who is marriage material, not another headache and moocher. Along that line, a widow with clean track record is more desirable, with or without kids.
2007-06-07 15:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It certainly complicates things a little because the kids have to accept you as well before any kind of relationship can work out. It can be hard to focus on having a "normal" date or relationship because of the distractions.
But, don't give up hope. I'm not saying I wouldn't date a woman with kids if the woman was special.
2007-06-07 15:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kids are always going to come first, some guys can't handle that.
To be totally honest I wouldn't date a girl with 3 kids, I have a step dad and for the first few years or so I gave him hell. I was so upset about my parents so I blamed him. it was wrong but I was kid.
3 kids is hard they cost a lot and are old enough to remember life before your new man came into your life.
i guess it depends on your age to and if they already have kids as well.
being my age there are plenty of single girls with no kids so it would be easier.
thats me being honest. but their are heeps of guys that wouldn't care how many kids you have.
2007-06-07 16:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Cooter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have dated a few ladies that had one, two, or three kids. I personally love kids, but some kids are more of a pleasure to be around than other. I have broken up with one lady that was because we had issues but I loved her kids. And I also broke up with another girl what I was crazy about her, but her three kids were a pain. Although I am not a stendgy person, I didn't want to pay for kids when their dad made more money than me. Ex husband issues are worse to me than children issues. This is just how I am, Kids are kool, but not to many and with a crazy dad to deal with.
2007-06-07 16:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by krash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..Im not a guy but thought I'd chime in anyways...Who ever said that is WRONG..My sister has 3 kids by 3 different men,and shes with a guy right now and suppose to be getting married.
So yes,a man would take a woman that has kids.
Its a huge responsiabilty but a REAL man IN LOVE would do it.
And to....theres men out there that have kids and wonder if a woman would take him with kids..if a woman loved him she would.
2007-06-07 16:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by ...Tammy... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were single, sure. I think she'd understand me better, because I have kids.
A guy I knew recently moved in with a woman with 4 kids.
Guys who are used to being able to go out all the time would find a sudden family that they don't feel a bond (initially) to yet a bit shocking. but some would be interested.
2007-06-07 15:56:27 · answer #8 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your babydaddy's are ***holes. Some guys will not date you because you have kids, that is their loss. There are plenty of great guys that will date you kids or not.
Speaking from experience, don't introduce your kids to every guy you date. Make sure he going to be around awhile.
2007-06-07 16:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by Smarter than the average bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit that it will make dating harder for you because you're not able to get out much. But those a**holes are wrong. Just be careful who you pick to be with. Get some education so you can depend on yourself and you'll attract a better class of men. But there are a**holes in every class so be choosy. Good Luck
2007-06-07 16:01:19 · answer #10 · answered by blastabuelliac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋