Advice on what a man is thinking?

Question

I will try & make my story short & as clear as possible. I'm 36 yrs old & I've dated a man same age as myself for 5 years. Last march of 06 he left me after I found out he had called a woman who was in the same room as I was, I also suspected something strange so after she got a phone call at 12 am I asked to use her phone, I checked recent calls & sure enough it was my ex. When I questioned him about it, he had no answer. After awhile he left me with no explanation. I've tried staying away, believe me? he would text me, I wouldn't answer than I would break recently we spoke as friends again & today we actually met. We made love & it was great but the only thing he wasn't as affectionate as he use to be. My question is can it be possible that he still has feelings for me, I can't ask him cause when I would in the past he would get upset.Can a man really just have sex with someone & not care 4 the person he's with even though we dated for 5 yrs. I don't know what to do I still luv him

Answer 1

I believe he still has feelings for you, but only in a friendship way. He dated you for 5 years then was seeing someone on the side. He has decided that you are ok but not really what he's looking for in a serious relationship. If you want more of the same, playing the game of pleasing him whenever he wants you to, you can draw it out for all its worth, or you can move on to someone else looking for a life's partner wanting to grow in a relationship with you, its up to you.

Answer 2

Stay away from him because he will only hurt you emotionally. Yes, he can have sex with you and not have any feelings for you. It's just sex to him. To most women it is love, a home, a future, kids, and a white picket fence. I would guess that he had been cheating on you for the whole 5 years. That is also the same reason that he would get upset when you would ask him. He is a cheater and he will always be a cheater. You deserve better. Don't talk to him, don't text him, and above all don't sleep with him.

Answer 3

Sorry, but it is just sex. Yes. A man can have sex with anything and be totally happy. And the more variety the better. Put a sack over a girls head and he would go for it. After dating him for 5 years and discovering that he had wandering eyes should be your first clue. He is texting you so he can have a back up. He came back today because he has broken bridges with someone else. He is not affectionate because his mind is on his own selfish self. Yeah, he can leave with no explanation, and he can have sex with you with no explanation. It is a fact of life. Sorry. Be strong and happy with yourself. If you are in doubt, you are right. Stand up.

Answer 4

Sorry, lady, you are what men call "free rides" or friends with benefits.

You dated the guy for 5 years with no sign of commitments -- a bf is not a commitment so he is technically not your ex. He can date anybody he wishes, just that you found out about it from one of his friends with benefits.

So he is one of those with a little black book so he can have a little fun on different weekdays. If you are ok with that, no problem. Don't expect anything more or imagine anything beyond that.

BTW, you let your 30s go by and in the relationship department, not much to show for. so that says something about your judgment and what kind of "marriage material" you are to serious responsible men.

Answer 5

Can a woman have sex with someone and have no feelings towards it? The answer is yes. I think if you were together for 5 years there is also a comfort level of having sex with that person for both you and him. That's the honest truth, did you feel a certain level of comfort knowing you were with him for 5 years. After that much time you think you know someone so you feel comfortable.

Answer 6

Yes they can have sex with someone and not care. So can woman. It all depends on the person. The question you should be asking yourself is...is this REALLY what you want?? Is this how yu want to be treated???? I know what it is like to still love someone for a looooooooong time after you break up. But you have to go through the motions. Ask yourself what you want and envision there is better out there for you. As soon as someone else comes in your life who is better, you will be kicking yourself for wanting him like you did. maybe seek counseling. It is possible you may have co dependancy issues. Do you REALLY want him to treat you like this???? IS THIS what you want for the rest of your life??? Including not being able to commmunicate without fear???Pray for guidance and strength.

Answer 7

I am sorry, but this guys sounds like bad news. He used you just for sex. And men do that. That is why you need to guard your heart. You dated this guy for 5 yrs, so I can see how you are attached, but he is creeping with other people.
Stop having sex with him, and let him know that you are not a toy. Leave him alone, but tell him off first. You deserve better. Go out and find it. Good luck.

Answer 8

If you can't trust him then you can't be with him. I would also advise you to not have sex with him since you are still emotionally attached and he may have slept with others. He may still care but not enough to want to be with you and only you. I would let this go and get an std check. If in the future he can grow up, apologize and commit then maybe you can build new trust. Good luck. Sorry.

Answer 9

Yes a man can just have sex and not care for the person. Don't expect much from him and I say don't push it either. Try to get on with your life as usualy and if he comes around great, if not then you never wasted more heart ache or pain. Good luck

Answer 10

Ok I am not trying to mean but I am going to tell you what I know ok He is playing you for a fool and guess what its working why would you put yourself through that crap I dont get it. all he wants is you in bed nothing else yes some men dont care about feelings ok. Move on lady please he is stopping you from having a life a family someone is out there trying to love you and your stuck with this *** lady you need friends to help you get out of this mess before it turns into 5 years and your wondering is he ever going to love me. you want that stay with him. I bet you marry him if he ask you right thats all you need in your life a loser! sorry I get carried away but I see women throw there life away for a man who just dont care about them and 5 years later they ask why did I not move on! lets see how you stand up and take care of your self!