Women,how can I have sex with my wife more than one time per month?

Question

I enjoy that aspect of our relationship when it happens. We have three kids under 4 and use contraception. I work full time. She is a stay at home mom and trust or faithfulness for either of us is not an issue here. I never initiate anymore because she is never in the mood. She is the one that has to be in the mood to have intercourse. Please, don't tell me to help around the house because I already do more than most husbands.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to say this but really you must just relax and follow her lead she has 3 kids under four to put up with day after day while you work. Personally I'm surprised you get it at all.

If this is something that is bothering you I think it is time for you to be talking to your wife, rather than asking a bunch of strangers how to get more sex from your spouse.

You should know that communication is key in marriage and if you let that go then the marriage will just go to crap. It is time to take your wife out on the town get a babysitter and or take the kids to the grandparents. Even a couple of days if you can she needs to get away from the kids for awhile maybe if she is able to unwind and relax without the kids bothering her every second. She will have more energy to pleasure you every now and again I think your wife is trying to tell you she is burned out and needs a break.

P.S. Also consider getting the kids into daycare even for a couple of days a week to lower your wife's stress level. It may dip into the budget but I bet it will benefit the whole family.

God Bless and Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Making the transition from glazed-eyed lovers to parents with bills and dirty laundry and a used-child-bearing body is tough for both of you, but moreso your wife.
I say more for your wife because she is the one that had to endure the pregnancies, and they have thrown her hormones askew many times over now. Men really need to realize that women feel after childbirth that their body has been used, even stuffed like a turkey, as crude as that may sound, and that it is never going to look the same again, and that's a fact.
She's stuck in mommy-mode, plain and simple. You get to leave your job everyday at some time, hers is surrounding her constantly.
So first, get her away from her job on a regular basis. One night a week she should do something with her girlfriends and not you, and one night a week the two of you should have a date--and that should continue forever more! It doesn't have to be expensive, it could be simply taking a walk through a downtown park and getting ice cream while the babysitter takes care of things at home.
Caressing your wife every evening when you go to bed is a nice thing too. It's not about sex, it's loving, but it could lead to sex, and it's a good routine. Back or foot massages, anything that is simply caressing to wake up some of those tired nerve endings.
The point I'm trying to make here is that the road to more sex is not achieved by trying to get more sex, it's done by other means. Men often don't get that either.

Answer 3

COMMUNICATE. You two need to sit down and discuss together why sex is so infrequent, and what can be done to pick it up a bit...what needs to change, for her to feel amorous more often? Whatever that may be, work together to make that happen.

If a discussion together doesn't bear fruit, the next step would be to seek couples counseling. Your issue isn't rare at all, but it also shouldn't be something you just have to settle for. A satisfying sex life is part of a happy relationship...even if everything else is going great, if the sex isn't where it should be, it'll wear on the relationship over time.

I hope you two can find a mutual path that you both find satisfactory...let her open up to you totally with fantasies or any suggestions no matter how outrageous. Most things can be tweaked to be 'doable' in some acceptable form...

Answer 4

Holy crap! Three kids under four? No wonder she's not in the mood, the poor woman is exhausted. Arrange for a babysitter one night a week so she can just go to the movies, out to dinner with a friend, a manicure, something Try to take over one day on the weekend and let her get away from the kids awhile. She may reward your selfless acts with some of her own.

Answer 5

Initiate sex in the morning when you both have energy , plus its a great way to start a wonderful day. Do something special like breakfast in bed or flowers. Also if you can arrange for your kids to have a sleepover at grandmas or friends to surprise her

Answer 6

get a babysitter and take her out on a date. Make her feel like she's still young and free of the stresses of life. Stress and exhaustion can damper anyone's sex drive. Kids do change things. It happens to everyone.

Answer 7

Damn. I'd kick her to the curb and pay support. My guess is that she put on 40+ pounds and chopped her hair off too. Thats the american soccer mom for ya! People wonder why there's so much infidelity out there.

Answer 8

Its the kids, plain & simple~she needs a break, she needs personal alone time, and you all need alone time together. The more she receives those two things, along with all the wonderful things you do for her around the house --the more you'll get it.

Answer 9

2 AM. Seriously. Initiate things at 2 AM, slowly, after she has been asleep for a while.

Answer 10

believe it or not I heard scheduling it helps. That way when the kids go to bed you both can relax, perhaps a massage, candles,lots of forplay! But talk to her first about this that you want more.