I realize this is my problem so how do I get over it?
The specific details:
I am around her because we both volunteer at the same place.
I didn't like him before and thought he was a jerk.
I can't talk to her nor really talk around her as I am flat out uncomfortable around her.
What can I do to get over this?
2007-06-07 14:56:44 · 10 answers · asked by Scott B 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I have to deal with this person. I have dealt with them in the past. I never felt uncomfortable.
She isn't gay. She still likes women. Actually he was dating a woman and she is now still dating that woman. I don't at all understand but who am I to judge?
2007-06-07 15:18:23 · update #1
Just because she's transgendered doesn't mean you have to like her anymore now if you didn't like her before the change. Their personality is still intact
2007-06-07 15:02:51 · answer #1 · answered by Cat 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at your reasons why you don't like her. You have said that you did not like her before so it probably is not a surprise that you still don't.
However, it also seems that part of the issue is also the fact she is transgender. I think that you have shown some real insight by saying that you realise that it is your problem and are actively looking for solutions. You need to accept her as a person in her own right and stop focusing on the transgender part. This is obvious and I am sure that you realise this, it might help to start small, this person is obviously not going to be your best friend. Start by just saying things like, “how was your weekend” etc, listen to the answer and then move on. You will soon realise that she will not bite and is still the same person. Albeit, one you don't really like anyway!
2007-06-07 15:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tori 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I sincerely applaud your efforts to be accepting of this person and the changes underway I really don't think you need to work to be any friendlier. I agree completely with everyone else so far in saying that you are in no way obligated to try to like someone more just because they are TG. In all likelihood her personality is probably still as abrassive to you now as before and nobody is going to jusdge you harshly for not being pals. Let's face it, not everyone gets along and that's just part of life. What I think is really awesome though is you are willing to learn more and be receptive to her. I'm not saying this will happen, but.... you may find she isn't so awful in time as now she may be becoming more comfortable with herself and begin conducting herself in a friendlier way. I know personally that sometimes when you don't like yourself very much because you feel like you can't be who you are, you make it hard for others to like you as well. Maybe or maybe not that had something to do with the way she was before. Anyway I think you have nothing to worry about. I think the issue you have is not an issue of being comfortable with a TG person, but rather a person you didn't get along with anyway. Thank you for being openminded and taking time to ask questions.
2007-06-07 15:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by bi_tgrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my humble opinion it’s the perspective you have when you look at us. People look with their eyes first and their brain second. You SEE a man choosing to change his body to a female instead of BELIEVING there a real female person inside trying to correct their body. Being Transexual is a birth related issue that is only correctable by transitioning and changing the body to match the brain. It’s the only way to eliminate the constant, and I mean constant, mental anguish that pushes many transsexuals to commit suicide. Believe me no one would choose this path in life. Most things in life must be learned and this is no different. It takes time and effort but can be done. Learn to be more accepting of others around you and you will be a better, stronger, more confident person for it. “To Judge Others Is To Judge Ones Self”
2016-05-19 07:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say this person as a man was a jerk, wel that person is gone and this new person is someone you don't know so try and get to know them as a woman, you might get on better.
2007-06-07 15:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Karen S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesn't sound like you 2 were close to begin with, so why the pressure to talk to her at all? If you must be around her, try attending TG events or clubs, immerse yourself in the culture, get to know other TG people.
2007-06-07 15:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by sarahblue1981 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just because she changed gender doesn't make her any different personality wise than before.
I don't think its the TG that bothers you, but the person herself.
You'll get used to her new gender over time-- I think you are sweet to worry about it though.
2007-06-07 15:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just so you know, you're not alone. I've only been around 2, but the 2 transgendered people I've been around have made me feel uncomfortable too. I don't know why it is, but they do.
2007-06-07 15:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you didn't like him/her because she/he was a jerk then there is nothing wrong with not liking him/her. just ignore them and don't let them interfer with you being able to function at your job. a work we all have to get along with people we don't like to get the job done. but if they are harrassing you then have a talk with them and if that doesn't help talk to your manager.
2007-06-07 15:05:24 · answer #9 · answered by TRACER ™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow.... acually someone who has the guts to want to be more friendly towars homosexuals.
2007-06-07 15:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by Poseidon 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋