Am I the only woman who thinks its inappropriate for husbands female co workers to send texts and im's?

Question

Nothing dirty- just multimedia messages and stupid jokes sometimes late at night plus they call each other for misc things. does anyone else worry about their husbands relationships with co workers? I have no idea how close these women are to my husband and all of a sudden I'm learning that he calls them about misc things. am I too high strung?

Answer 1

I wouldn't worry about if I trusted him. Especially if I was able to read the messages and emails. I wouldn't say you are high strung just worried. But I think men and women can be friends and it just be a friendship so I might be thinking of it differently.

Answer 2

It's a pretty common practice and, usually, the sender will forward these things to all their contacts. Like you said, most of these messages are totally inoffensive.

The real question is: why are you concerned your husband receives attention from other women (coworkers or not)?

When you're in a relationship, you tend to build defensive triggers, like little red flags going up according to certain signs. Instincts can be a very good lead when your head can't compute a situation you're uncomfortable with.

Try to figure out the facts that make you nervous. What are the frequencies of those contacts, their length? Do they usually contain innuendos and double meanings? Is your husband trying to hide these conversations from you? Is the co-worker trying to hide this from you?

And try to look at this on both sides: do you feel your relationship isn't as comfortable as it should be? Do you feel insecure? Have you become more emotionally needy from your husband lately? Are you experiencing stress? Is there something going on with your life recently?

I suggest thinking it over and talk to your husband about your worries.

His reaction and your own should give you a better picture or a few more clues about what's really going on...

Answer 3

It depends, does your husband do this behind your back. If so this is very inappropriate. I feel a man can have a normal relationship with a female co-worker but if he is doing this all behind your back I would be upset and I would confront him on the matter.My husband would get messages from certain female coworkers. I knew about this and I did not have a problem with this. I knew the women. Also just because your husband is doing this does not mean he is doing anything wrong other then like you said getting messages from them and calling them about stuff. Just discuss this with him.
Many will give you advice but the main thing is you need to trust your husband and tell him how you feel about this.
If it cont to bother you, ask him to please have the messaging stopped.. If he will not do this, then this is a problem.

Answer 4

Two things here...
I think it's fine that he is receiving non-inappropriate messages from these women, because that is more of a friend thing that he might also receive from a guy.
(By the way, are any other guys that your husband works with part of this after-hours thing going on?)
Maybe your husband is just a friendly guy. I wouldn't assume otherwise if he's not hiding anything.
However! Making unimportant calls back and forth after work hours has me concerned. That appears as if his thoughts are still on his co-workers once he is home with you. Sounds as if the work crew is getting too cozy. I mean, happy hour is one thing, but unimportant phone calls?
Do these women have husbands, btw? Or are they all bored and finding your husband the life of the party?

Answer 5

Sounds like he either never got over it and that he is cheating. Why dont you hire a private detective to follow him around. You could even borrow a friends car and follow him around so that you can see for yourself. Let him know you are not ok with him going out til midnight and if there is nothing to worry about then he should have no problem brining the friend around you and letting you two be friends. Sounds very fishy. Dont go about accusing him just yet, wait until you have some hard evidence. If you can get her name you can find out her address and see if you can park outside to see if he comes over there. I would sit outside his work around 530 or 6 and see when he leaves. Better yet, show up at his office at 6 and see what he says. It does sound fishy but for it to stand up in court and for you to get alimoney, not sure if you will since you cheated, you will need hard evidence. GOod luck! One last thing. 2 wrongs dont make a right, and if he is doing this to get back at you or because you did it to him it sounds like a divore may be the right path for you all to take. Just becuase you had a fling doesnt give him the right to have a fling. It he wasnt past it then he should have come to you so you all could work out the best possible decision.

Answer 6

The pendulum swings both ways.

These days coworkers send dirty emails to women and men liberally. How would it be different via short messages. Some employees these days hang out together a lot. Doesn't say much professionally but such is life.

Obviously, it makes lots of room for affairs and accidents to occur. Kind of depends on your husbands education and nature of work. If he is management, he should know better. If he is low level, he hasnt learned what it takes to advance.

Answer 7

I think it is a bit odd for women from work to call or text a married man. You would think that women would know better, and could turn the situation around and see how they would feel if it were their husband talking, calling, being called and so fourth. They would not like it at all either. But yes this is odd behavior, and worth keeping a close eye on. You never know what either the women or your husband may be up to next.

Answer 8

No, you're not too high strung. This is inappropriate for co-workers of the opposite sex to have any non-business interaction without your full knowledge. No matter how innocent in the beginning, it can lead (and usually does) into much more, such as emotional affairs. I know from experience.

Answer 9

My ex-would get jealous if any female would call or tex or anything. Even women that there is no way I would cheat with them even if I was allowed. But at the same time she would talk to guy friends. I think what is good for one is good for the other also. The point I am tryin to make is if he does it, so can you. You have to trust him to a point. Talk to him about it. If you ride him about it unjustly it will push him away. Be careful and try to work it out and come to and agreement without pushing him away. Good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 10

I had a co-worker that I was running around with and it was completely platonic but it bothered my wife. The longer it went on the more it bothered her. I realized I was spending more time with my co-worker than I was my wife and I ended it. I don't think it's wrong what your husband is doing if it's on the level but there has to be limits. Especially if you feel you are being left out.