I'm getting married in 6 weeks, to my high school sweetheart after 15 years, when we broke up. He and his ex has shared custody to their two kids, boy 8 and girl 5, but their mother is always gone on the road and is left with either him or in daycare. I have a good relationship with the kids and I want to be able to vow to them that I will be there for them. Most of the vows that I have seen is an exchange between parents and children... I'm not really looking for them to say anything to me. Anyone have any ideas? Or websites? Or did anyone else write vows to their step kids?
2007-06-07 14:48:10 · 6 answers · asked by mskitty_72 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not trying to replace their mother, but want them to know that I am going to be there for them in conjunction with their father, when their mother is not... Not that I want to say it that way... if you know what I mean... that is why I'm asking for suggestions.
2007-06-07 15:34:12 · update #1
It is wonderful of you to feel this way.
Here is my suggestion, get them rings of there own. Maybe matching yours but in silver?
Here is what the vow I would assume a child would want and understand from a stepmother.
I promising to love your Daddy and both of you for the rest of my life.
I promise to always listen to what you have to say.
I promise to try and be your friend.
I promise to always thank god for you being in my life.
That is the vow that my brother said to his 5 yr old stepson and presented him with a ring. That little boy now carries it on his key chain but never goes any place without it. He calls it his good luck charm.
2007-06-07 16:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I simply took a moment after hubby and I exchanged vows to speak to the children, at the alter, and tell them that I was promising to do my best as their stepmother, to help support them and guide them, be a friend to them and a source of strength...all the things I wanted them to know, I told them. Hubby and I gave a token gift to the kids after the ring exchange, to include them further, and also did a sand ceremony rather than a unity candle, and the kids were involved in that too. They poured their sand in between two layers of sand that hubby and I poured, to symbolize that they will be the center of the family and we will always protect them. It was sweet, and the kids loved being a part of it (they're both six)
2007-06-07 21:57:37 · answer #2 · answered by Luvitall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! When I married my husband my son was 5 years old. We didn't think of doing vows, but he did give him a special gift before the ceremony. I think vows for them are a great idea. Before you say your vows to your husband-to-be you could speak directly to the kids and tell them how happy you are to be a part of their lives. Tell them you will always be there for them just like you will be for their dad. Give them a heads up before the ceremony so they won't feel like they have to have a response. Good luck, I hope it's a beautiful day for you!!
2007-06-07 22:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tacky to say the least. Because you are basically slapping their mother at the face. Doesn't matter how nice you are to them, you are an outsider and cannot replace their biological parents, don't even attempt or they will resent you for a long time. Just stay cordial. Sooner or later, there will be disagreements on major and minor occasions where they will test the father to the limit.
Why don't you think of a vow to your husband's ex as well while you are at it!!
2007-06-07 22:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
you can wright vows my friend did in her wedding and she just said to them that she will alway try to be there when they need her and she said how much she loved them she said their names one by one and said what she loved about them and then the father or who ever is marrying you guys he asked them by name do you except your name into your family and the children say I do and you and your husband will do your vows then the four of you will go and light a candle as a family and the person who married you will say I now I GIVE YOU MR AND MISSESS HE WILL SAY YOUR LAST NAME
and we all cryed I will never forget that wedding Good luck
2007-06-07 22:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by cherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always be nice and act like they are yours and never be unfair like if both got in trouble and none of them admits it him both of them the same number of times not the older one more and the younger one less
2007-06-07 21:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋