short story, marr. 6 yrs/ 6 mths later stayed hm from work sick w/ hub-7 mo. preg, got hung up on15x's, change my voice- it work-thought I was his bud- I recognized her voice-she was his cousin friend..hub confess that he slept with her b4 we got married he also said she was threating him all the time and she was crazy....next day threats call on vm for both of us.. she was ghost around his fam. I forgave did not forget.. 5 yrs/ ok . last yr.. found a pack of unopened condems one night,of course he had his buddy call me to appolgize about leaving them in his car..Im not stupid, but Im not going to drive myself insane! so I beleive him. I open our cell bill last week saw #'s which I called the one that was used the most..it was an old gf who ask him to marry him when she found that we was engage -another fam friend -she has someone. he told me there just friends.at this point .dont know what to do, I told him to leave by July! he said ok ,It hurts, hes not even gone yet.what u think?
2007-06-07 14:44:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not easy to end a marriage but it sounds like yours ended a long time ago. You have to figure out your finances , pay off any bills that you can, figure out where you'll stay, figure out how you'll survive without his income, talk to a lawyer, get all your ducks in a row. Once you are organized and have everything figured out tell him it's time for him to leave or you take your things and leave. Stay on speaking terms with him because that's needed for the kids. If Dad's a bad guy the kids will see it for themselves sooner or later. You seem like a kind and forgiving person. Never change, just get smarter.
Good Luck
2007-06-07 15:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by blastabuelliac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sid, I have a slightly different take on the child situation. I was a single mother with two kids and got married to a guy who never had children or had ever been married before. I don't think he had any idea what he was getting into. I really tried to support him and back him up with my children, and he really tried to stick up for me when the kids were giving me a hard time. The oldest daughter never gave him a chance. When the youngest daughter of six wanted to call him "Daddy" I thought the older child's head was going to spin around! All of our fights were always over the children, otherwise we had a wonderful relationship. We've been together for 15 yrs. and the kids have both grown up and moved out. I thought that would solve the problems, but the relationship has never healed. He says he's just not attracted to me anymore, and said it was because of all the fighting over the kids. So, we are still living in the same house, I am going to therapy to help me deal with all this. I didn't see this happening in the earlier years, I just thought couples fought and got over it. My parents always did, they fought like they were in a war zone over us kids. Yet, they were married over 50 yrs. until my father died. The only thing that I can suggest for you is to try couples therapy, or a couples retreat. Or have someone watch the kids and you two get away for the weekend. Go out on a date night, no talking about the kids, or bills, just talk about the good times from when you two met. Try to remember who you were before the kids and try to be those ppl again, even for a little while. Try to start over fresh without bringing up past fights or disagreements. If you two disagree about some really big issues, you will need professional to help you mediate a compromise as how to handle these issues. There isn't anything better out there in Singles land, you might as well work on what you two have and make it back to where you once were when you were a happy couple. Children are supposed to make you a family, but that is not always the reality. Still it is your responsibility as parents to make it a happy home for your kids. They didn't ask to be here, but they do need and want both of you be there for them and to provide them with a loving family. You can't do it alone though, you and your wife both have to be on the same wave length. Most definitely some ppl shouldn't have kids, and some ppl with kids shouldn't get married until the kids are grown and out of the house.
2016-05-19 07:15:07 · answer #2 · answered by twana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears to me thathe doesn't want to fight for the marriage and is more then likely cheating on you and has done it lots. I think the only thing you need to do is to get out now if you have a friend or family to stay with leave now and don't look back well except for divorce proceedings. It sounds to me like this husband of yours was not ready to be tied down to just one women and has many female friends that want him or just want to jump his bones. Let him go and let him be single before one of these ex's bring something home to you in the form of an STD. I know that you are a mother or soon to be but really what kind of life is it going to be for you and this newborn. Living with a cheating pig that will continue to hurt you until you tell him goodbye.
God Bless and Best Wishes.
P.S. Life is to short to live unhappy and with someone that treats you like crap.
2007-06-07 15:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I think he's a cheater. Second, I think if his response to leave by July is just "Okay" instead of fighting for your love, he doesn't deserve it. Being on your own is hard, I won't lie. I've been divorced from a cheater for seven years and I have two kids, but it's A LOT better than living with a liar and a cheater who doesn't love you with ALL his heart. There are many men who will... beleive me!
2007-06-07 14:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by Niffer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To many you have to trust him because you do not have hard evidence. Let him go. Love him but let him go once you get over being sad your life with your self will be so much better. Don't ever make some one a priority that makes you an option. Family lies for their family. Love yourself and never forget that you are more important than him.
2007-06-07 14:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Tisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I'm confused... what does your husband say about all of this, or are you just keeping this to yourself to handle. Ask him for the truth and believe what you want to, but it sounds to me that he's cheating. You are already thinking about ending your marriage so you are half way there, so you just need to finish the other half. If you stay with him, that's your choice... if you leave him, that's still your choice. All in all, it's your choice and you have to live with it. For better and for worst... they didn't mention you should stay in hell.
2007-06-07 14:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by sugarfish808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like low grade soap operas. You picked the guy and let him do these to you. So my guess is you rely on him financially and you don't have enough work skills to be on your own. The next guy you pick will probably be a repeat.
2007-06-07 15:38:34 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I want to say that I am sorry that this had to happen to you. You deserve to be loved in the right christen way.
You did the right thing. Next man that comes into your life, make sure he is doing all the right things or don't waste your time.
2007-06-07 14:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by Dori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much drama, too little sincerity. Raise your standards and find an honest man. Forget the bad boys, they make lousy mates.
2007-06-07 14:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a cheater, period, and a liar. he probably has a lot more secrets. I would walk out,,,simple as that, and file for disolution of marriage, on grounds of adultery. Point to ponder,, why would a friend take out condoms,and leave them in your car?? DUH! He is using the car as a playground for him.
2007-06-07 14:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by Steve C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋