If a man and a woman are in a happy marriage for 'x' number of years, they have kids, and one fine morning one of them discloses that he/she had physical/emotional relationships with somebody before he/she got married, how should the other person react? It is understood that it would not be cheating as he/she was single at that time, and also what happened before the marriage is not at all of any concern to the other person, but I am not sure what would be the best and optimal reaction, keeping in mind that both of them want to stay married. Neither one of them is trying to leave the other, it is just a piece of information that one of them wants to share with other.
2007-06-07 13:38:39 · 3 answers · asked by oneandonly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The relationship is obviously bothering you- why? Can you not see your spouse as being/loving someone prior to you? Or, is your concern not in the relationship itself, but in the fact that it was never disclosed before this point? Think about why this is bothering you (really think!) and then talk about this with your spouse. They love YOU, and are with YOU, and wanted to share, but you need to let go of why this is bothering YOU before you tackle this with your SPOUSE!
In my mind, the optimal reaction would be discussion- about many things. Why wasn’t it mentioned prior? Why you/they are upset? Why you/they want to stay together and married? Ultimately, I would want it to lead to why you and your spouse are married, have children and are committed to loving one another and why the prior relationship wasn’t able to fulfill what your relationship does. This helps to reaffirm why you love each other, why you have loved and will continue to love TOGETHER!
Be proud of your TOGETHERNESS- some people go life times without having achieved togetherness with spouses and soul mates!
2007-06-07 14:53:33 · answer #1 · answered by WhaleTale155116 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And the problem is? Maybe that person is so comfortable in the relationship that he/she wants to let the past be known. even if there is no reason for it. Just an information of ones life history. There should be no reaction accept hey that was your past the only thing I care about is the love that is here right now. and has been here for x number of years.
2007-06-07 20:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would she share her past like that? It wasnt cheating or anything and it is normal to expect that she would have been with other people...but strange that she tells you. I wouldnt worry, she was prolly just getting it off her chest because she regretted it. she is with YOU and only you now!
2007-06-07 20:43:02 · answer #3 · answered by rusty71987 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋