ok well my boyfriends not a virgin and i am....and he COMPLETELY understands that and never pushs me into anything. hes 18 and i just recently turned 14. i dont know. i have a really hard time staying with him. not b.c of him or anything. its my mom and friends and people around me thinking ill have sex and give in....even though ive thought about it. hes a good guy..and i no it is true..when you date that older of guys you tend to be more willing to have sex. but hes not that way at all. he supports me and everything. even thought hes not a virgin. what the question is..how do i stay away from sexual stuff for my own self with him...its not that hes pressuring it just me sometimes. but i dont no how i can get way from that. b.c ive thought about sex...but i dont think ill do it.
2007-06-07 13:29:05 · 9 answers · asked by baileyyy. 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
It sounds like, deep inside, you're not ready to have sex yet. and it's awesome that your boyfriend is understanding and isn't pushing you to do anything you don't want to.
As far as staying away from "sexual stuff," go do things in public.. Go see a movie, or go out to eat, or go for a walk. Try not to be alone, just you and him, for a while. If he feels like you're avoiding being alone with him, tell him what's going on. If he's as great as he sounds, he'll understand what you're doing and support you.
My boyfriend is 4 years older than me, and when we met he was not a virgin and I was. I wasn't ready for a while either. So instead of staying at home and watching a movie alone or whatever, we would go out and stay in public places. That way we were still able to get to know eachother, and I felt safe and would keep my hands to myself :-)
You can ask your boyfriend to try to help you out. For example, if you two make out a lot and it starts to get kindof heavy, have him try to back off and ask you if it's what you really want. That way you both are stopping something that might lead to sex.
Keep it fun, keep it light, and don't think about sex until you're ready, okay?
2007-06-07 13:35:37 · answer #1 · answered by Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep to activities that are around other people. Avoid being alone with him. Remember too, that many sexually transmitted diseases have no symptoms. How many sexual partners has he had? How do you (or he for that matter) know that he is disease free? Has he been tested???? You have a greater chance of catching a STD, than getting pregnant; however that is a risk too. And the viruses are incurable. AIDS kills and the HPV virus will come and go the rest of your life if you get it. Try explaining the fact that you have genital warts to your fiance someday, because he will get it too if you are infected.
A test to see if the guy really loves you and also your test to see if you really care about him and don't just want to use his body is to wait until you get married for sex. What you want is a guy to love and respect you, not just use your body for his plaything. Then when you do get married, you will have a loving husband there who you can trust with your most vunerable self and will BE THERE for you and your children.
2007-06-07 13:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by wildwolfmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bailey, are your mom or your friends dating this guy? no. then they don't know he he really is. if you think its good to stay with him and you don't think he's going to pressure you in to having sex, then go for it. If you think, however, that he will pressure you into having sex, then brake up with him.
Fun stuff to talk about like how many kids he wants when he gets older? or do you have any names you want to give you future kids? or do you want a boy or a girl first? usually lead to a subconscious want for sex with him even though your conscious mind doesn't know it yet. Staying away from questions like these is one way to stay away from sexual stuff for your own self with him.
another way is to keep your clothes on...no really! wear school dress code appropriate clothes that don't show too much skin and leaving him with his mind wondering. Don't dress in like a blouse and skirt or anything, just dress in fingertip shorts and tank tops and don't where low cut v shirts. another thing to do is right yourself a promise. right down all the things you want to do in life in list form. right down anything and everything you can thing of that you might want to do and think about whether or not you could do them if you slept with this guy and got pregnant.
Last, but not least, whenever you're in a situation where you're making out or whatever, and it starts to get hot and you want to take it farther, always think about what would happen if by taking it farther you had sex with him, accidentally because you were caught up in the heat of the moment and weren't thinking straight, and got pregnant. this will ice any hot feelings of taking it farther until you're either married or think you're ready and can handle a baby if the condom accidentally breaks or somethings goes wrong.
good luck with the guy! hope this helps!
2007-06-07 13:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Drama Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the main thing you need to remember is that because you are only 14 and he is 18, is that he can go to jail if you teo have sex. Only a few states have 16 as their age of consent. The rest of them are 17-18. If you truly care about him don't let him go to jail.
2007-06-07 13:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 14, wait a few years to have sex so that you can just enjoy life and have fun being a kid. Sex can change your emotions and personality, and it has consequences. There is pregnancy, abortion, birth control, STDs, genital warts a.k.a. HPV (It is common), Genital herpes, cervical cancer (the risk goes up for women who have sex at an early age or have multiple partners), and HIV to worry about. Please wait and just enjoy your young life.
** And I think you should drop your BF, but if you must be with him, let him know you are not ready and DO NOT have sex
2007-06-07 13:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by luvandlight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a smart 14 year old girl.....don't let a boy pressure you
into having sex........and by the way, if you do have sex with
your boyfriend, he can be in a lot of trouble......it is called
"statuatory rape" because you are underage......it is a criminal
offense and he can be convicted and sent to jail, so please let
him know this,,,,he may not know and I really don't want any of
you to get into any trouble......BE STRONG........and be proud
of yourself and your decision.
2007-06-07 15:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by isageegee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am proud of you, sweetie. You found a man who respects you. =] It's normal to have thoughts about sex. Just as long as you don't act upon them, you will be fine.
2007-06-07 14:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal♥of♥Iris 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont get what the problem is ur doing fine only u know whats right
2007-06-07 13:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by rayray 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not ready for that when you are that young you will just end up getting hurt over this do not do it
2007-06-07 13:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by al 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋