Why do you think this phrase is no longer recited in wedding vows?

Question

...To love, honor, and OBEY.

Why is it that in most weddings that take place nowadays this phrase is no longer recited by women?

Answer 1

Because there is a huge misconception as to what the vow of obedience implies (specifically in regards to the term "submission" as it's used in the Bible (Ephesians 5:22). If the husband is inadequately leading the household (rather the lack thereof), submission feels like oppression and headship translates to dictatorship which is simply, and emphatically, wrong! What woman would want to obey a husband that oppresses and dictates? The man is ashamedly at fault here. But when husbands LOVINGLY lead their wives, submission and obedience DOES NOT feel like, AND IS NOT, oppression. When husbands properly understand and come to terms with what LOVING leadership really looks like, they create an atmosphere in the home where God's order of authority and leadership seem natural. The Essential Fact: headship is loving responsibility. The Goal: loving your wife as Christ loved the church (Jesus among a multitude of other things, sacrificed himself for the Church). In love, the husband sacrifices and serves with a view to enabling his wife to become all that God intends her to be. If a bride is unable to utter the words "obey" in regards to the leadership of their husband to be, he has failed in properly conveying his love to his wife.

Answer 2

Since the post Women's movement, society has taken notice to these and other phrases represent an oppressive time where people were not married as equals but as breeding partners. I recently attended a wedding where this phrase was used. During the reception someone at the wedding table gave their displeasure to the phrase. I retorted to them and stated that it is up to the couple and not public opinion. Overall, the couple should decide on their vowels and that is all.

Answer 3

Corinthians 7:10

Answer 4

I wouldn't want a woman saying that she'd "obey" me in a wedding vow. This is the love of my life we're talking about, not a dog, or some kind of trained circus animal. The promise to obey is simply a holdover from a patriarchal age.

Answer 5

I believe the reason that this is left out in alot of weddings, is the current social climate emphasizing gender equality. Todays attitudes are shifting to where women are being seen more as equals instead of secondary to men.

Answer 6

I think it depends on who is performing the ceremony and what the bride and groom decide. My cousin just got married last year and they recited this phrase, in a different order, but it was this phrase.

Answer 7

Women started balking publicly about this phrase during the women's lib movement. I've heard women and men say it's not fair for men to be "over" women in a marriage relationship. "I shouldn't have to obey my husband".

Because both man and woman should have respect for
each other wishes..

Answer 8

I just got married two weeks ago and I wouldn't say obey either. I think that most women find in this day and age that promising to obey someone is rather arcaic. Nor is it in the spirit of partnership and love in a marriage. The only people I have ever obeyed are God, my parents , and myself.

Answer 9

I think it is because over the years women have been increasingly abused by their husbands. Sadly, some men feel that a marriage license is a hitting license and a way to control a women. To "obey" sounds like a slave and slavery is over.

Answer 10

Great question and not many people are open to different thinking. It was started by the feminists who believe that any woman who obeys her husband is oppressed. When a wife obeys her husband she is not owned by him; she is simply doing as he would have her to do, her mind is intact, he cannot tell her how to think, some may try, simple as that, no big deal.