My father is terminally ill and has very little time to live, I don't know if I'm dealing with it well. I'm sad and scared, but I'm not crying as much as I thought. Is that wrong of me?
2007-06-07 12:51:34 · 24 answers · asked by nativeladyballer 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No, it all depends on how you feel on the inside. As long as you feel sad there's nothing wrong with you. It's a tough time for you and it is great pain for you. Best of luck to you and your family.
2007-06-07 12:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have different ways of coping. One way is by taking on the role of the responsible person who makes sure things run as smoothly as possible even in the most chaotic situation. I get the sense that this could be where you are right now. I could be completely off the mark. Regardless, different people mourn the illness/loss of loved ones in different ways. There is no pre-defined way to feel sadness. As long as you come to terms with what has happened, and don't let the sadness pile up within you, you should be fine. Give it time. If you are still having doubts about your feelings it can always be helpful to see a counselor.
2007-06-14 20:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by Fieyr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Socrates said as he lay dying, "life is to be sick a very long time." You, me, your Dad, and everything else in the universe is just visiting for a very short period of time. Nothing is wrong with not crying. Different people have individual ways of dealing with a life crises such as the one you are dealing with right now. You may be in a state of shock to some degree. You are sad and scared, that is painful. That is normal, and I hope you stay as strong as you seem to be right now. Perhaps at some point in time you will let out some of the pain in the form of tears. Whether you do or don't is not indicative of any abnormality. I'm sorry. Stay cool. It's part of life.
2007-06-14 18:27:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is not wrong. That is, in fact, completely normal. Studies have shown that a majority of people, when faced with extremely traumatic situations, usually do not cry. The trauma is too great for tears. For example, you are more likely to cry when your boyfriend breaks up with you than you are when he dies.
If you feel the need to talk about your feelings, you should see a therapist. Otherwise, you can try to express your feelings in other ways that make you comfortable - writing, drawing, playing music, etc. Of course, if you are the sort of person to internalize your emotions, that is fine too. Whatever coping mechanism you choose will help you deal with this difficult time.
2007-06-07 13:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, people deal with things differently. You are a strong person and deal with things in a different way...maybe your trigger isn't found yet....I don't mean to say that to cry means weakness..not at all. I may cry for a pet and not a relative...its all in the understanding of the situation. For example you say your father is termanally ill, well you have time to deal with it and say goodbye..but if he were to die from a car accident without illness then thats a different situation and you may mourn it in a different fashion....I hope that was clear...
Hope all works out for you....I am sorry about your father.
2007-06-12 14:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by Pepper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not. People deal with grief in many different ways. When my grandpa died, i cried. I sat and cried for hours. But when the funeral came and everyone was there. I wanted to cry, I need to cry, but I didn't. I guess that was my way of dealing with it. And I still surprises me today, because I never said goodbye.
But it's fine. No matter how you deal with it. As long as you know that no matter what, he loves you and will be with you throughout your life.
I'm sorry he's ill and I hope this helps.
2007-06-15 07:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by Emily C. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. People react differently, & trust me you will cry later. Do some reading on death & dying, when suffering significant loss the 5 stages apply to all, but no one usually goes thru them in the same order. I am sorry about your Dad, I lost my mother a year ago. If you can read some material on the subject, the real process begins once he has passed.
2007-06-15 02:30:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely you will - when the time is right.
As terrible as this may sound, wait until well after the funeral before judging yourself.
I expect it will hit you at some time in the future. We all react differently.
Death is a fact of life and you may be a bit more realistic about it than others, but it is still a loss and an emotional response is normal.
2007-06-07 13:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by Philip H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not like you don't love him, so don't think it's a terrible thing. I didn't cry when my grandma died, but I did feel pretty sympathetic.
It'll probably just take some time for it to sink into you, then you'll maybe cry. But... maybe you should think of the reasons why you aren't crying. For example, perhaps you weren't really close to your father but you're scared because you're losing a family member? God bless.
2007-06-07 13:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by bilbobagginz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dealing with it the way you need to right now. It is okay if you are not crying. Emotions are handled in different ways at different times. You will cry when it is time. Don't second guess yourself.
2007-06-13 12:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by TAT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋