I want to cheat on my my man?

Question

I am married with 3 kids a gorgeous women I am, but my husband does not seem to notice all he does is work,sleep play that horrible xbox360 and Rap yes I said rap with his friends while I am bored out of my mind , I work too and take care of 3 kids all day all i want is some quality time ,some romance and attention I ran into one of my old friends from highschool and he makes me feel wanted again ,I mean I dont hardly get any at home so I figure why not get some while I am still young .what would you do?

Answer 1

DO NOT CHEAT!!! Please, please, please. I was your husband once -- okay, I didn't play xbox all the time or rap, but I worked, slept, ate, and didn't notice what my wife needed from me, and she hooked up with a guy from high school. It nearly drove me crazy, and still does when I think about it too much. My wife and I have managed to work through it, and we are both better spouses and better people for it.

Find a way to reach your husband and get him to notice you and to recognize that he has neglected you as a woman, as a wife, as a friend.

My wife and I have realized that we do better starting these kinds of conversations via email or even the ancient art of letter-writing. Tell him how you feel, how neglected you feel, and how it isn't what you want in a marriage and a husband. If he's not the angry type, you might even tell him that you are thinking about this high school friend (who is SO not a friend if he's intentionally making you think of cheating on your husband -- any real friend, any real MAN, would back off when it was clear you're having marital issues). And try to keep what you write or say to him from being angry; try just to get your pain through without striking out at him, because most men will get angry when a woman is showing anger, especially when she's doing it against him.

This stuff is really hard. I know you are thinking "He'll never talk to me, we'll just argue" or whatever. But please listen to me when I say keep trying to get him to see what he's doing to you. This man is your husband and the father of your children; chances are that he loves you more than air. He may even have lost sight of that, like I did, but when faced with the realization that I hurt my wife all those years when I tuned out and that she would have to leave if I didn't step up, it changed my life. I died inside when I realized what I had put her through just by not being there for her. Give your man the chance to see that. Show him these answers if it may help. I believe most men WANT to be everything for their wives, but they get so tired and feel so smothered by life that it slips away and they just lose sight of it. Give your man a chance, give your marriage a chance.

And, by the way, tell high school "friend" to go to hell. He's intentionally trying to hurt you, your husband, and your children. He says he's not, but it would have been so easy for him to walk away if he cared about any of you at all.

Good luck! I'll be thinking of you and your family, and I hope you guys work through this. Feel free to email me through my profile if you ever need to talk.

Answer 2

Cheating really has more to do with the Cheater rather than the Cheat-ee - some egos have a hole that they are trying to fill- and subconsciously or consciously they feel entitled to more attention, affection, affirmation... It has nothing to do with love- it's really more about self-loathing, and perceived needs versus actual needs. When men or women cheat- they know it's wrong, and it's wrong because hurting someone else is never good for yourself. Some people live in a deeper state of denial than others. They may rationalize cheating by telling themselves that they deserve tru love or happiness- but both of those start from within. Love is a choice- so is happiness, and you can distract yourself with new people or experiences, but sooner or later you catch up to yourself and then you have to start all over again or fix the problem.

Answer 3

Do you really want to end up alone, WITHOUT the kids or the house, and paying HIM to raise your family - just to get laid?

If that's how bad you need it - then by all means, go ahead and cheat. But if you care about your family (or at least your kids), then talk to your husband IMMEDIATELY!

If he won't listen, then leave a divorce application form taped to the front of the television. If that doesn't get his attention, then nothing will!

And if he STILL won't get off his @ss - then make sure you have proof that you are the only one raising the kids, and taking care of the household. Divorce lawyers like things like that - take him to the cleaners for every cent you can!

THEN see if you're old friend is still interest - but in the mean time, pick up some "power tools" to take the edge off until your man finally comes to his senses.

Answer 4

You should really talk to your husband about how your feeling and give him a chance to correct his wrongs before betraying him and your children. Im sure once you put to him that your not happy and that you have been receiveing attention elsewhere and you need to know weather he cares enough for you, so that you can move forward in your relationship. Dont just cheat cause your bored, give him a chance first. Then if he stuff's that up...then do what you gotta do.

Answer 5

I would kick out my husband's friends and turn off the Xbox and try to remember why I married him in the first place. Feeling wanted is not the same as being loved. If you give your husband a chance to be the man you married he might surprise you. If he doesn't then you can end the relationship and not be a cheater.

Answer 6

You like the attention, everybody likes the attention. If you are having problems not getting the attention from your husband, you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. Men knows and appreciate their woman, they may not show it to women the way that women expect them too, but it's the little things that they do to show their appreciation. Maybe he feels that you don't have that issue of him not giving you that attention. If you really love your man, try to work things out with him before doing something foolish.

Answer 7

Look, if you are married, you know your not suppose be cheating on your husband. If you are not happy with him, then you need to divorce him or talk to him & hope to work things out. What kind of a person would that make you if you decide to cheat? You will cause problems for yourself & for your family. My best advice is to save yourself the headache, be more mature about things & talk to your husband. Like i said, if your not happy with him, do the right thing & divorce him if you decide you want to see & sleep with other men.

Answer 8

i would not do it.. you should really talk to ur man and let him know how u feel.. because chances are he doesnt know.. men are hardheaded.. so u need to make him realize how u feel and bring back the romance in ur marriage.. try to go out for dinner alone and do fun stuff.. spending quality time together .. surely you can make it work if you want to.. because anything else u do.. if u do have an affair would not be good for the marriage ofcourse..and think about the children.. i dont think they would want to see their mom with another man.. cheating and hiding things would really destroy the marriage and home that you have

Answer 9

OK Gorgeous, its not as simple as it seems. Its far easier to get laid at home than outside.

Send the kids to grandma's and then get dressed to kill one night. I mean the full Monty. CFM pumps, push up bra, stockings, garter belt, shaved smooth, and his favorite perfume. Leave the panties home!

He'll drop that remote and take you to the moon! If it works, do it again, maybe while out on the town, men are simple creatures--he'll respond! I know I would. Good luck Gorgeous!

Answer 10

hey milk chocolate, ya need to seat down with your man and tell how you feel. if that doesn't work ..than perhaps try something sexy now and then in order to lure him in...and if that fails.. set a guide line for him to follow when he is home from work or on the weekends just like we do for children. divide some of his down time at home for quality family time. put your foot down girl. and if that STILL doesn't work then you need to find time for your self by yourself.......go out w/ the girls..or just go window shopping but don't tell him where you are going..he might get the hint..ha..ha.. Jake.C Florida