I think it's pretty safe to say that I just don't do it for her, she's just not that into me. Either I just plain suck in bed or she's got somebody else on the side and just doesn't care anymore, either way, something is VERY wrong. Suppose there is an issue with affection and intimacy and has been for a long time. Things change briefly but always revert back to the way it always is. Is this normal or is my marriage over?? At night she rejects me...freezes when I touch her and never initiates anythign with me. I literally end up lying there crying it hurts so bad..yet she goes to sleep as if she doesn't care. Then in the morning she gets up, leaves me in bed, alone...and goes to the shower and gets herself off with the shower nozzle...like three or four times a week..... So is it safe to say that she's either got somebody else she's fantasizing about, or having sex with, or is she just not attracted to me anymore.... is my marriage pretty much over, am I a complete fool? Help me.
2007-06-07 11:55:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, this has been going on for a long time;..we just went away a few weekends ago, spent weekend on the ocean, had a great time, but when we got back, the very next day it was back to "normal".... she KNOWS how much it hurts me, she KNOWS how badly I crave affection and intimacy yet it is still this way, we've been to counseling, we've talked, communicated...EVERYTHING...It's not like I just gave up, I've tried everything I can think of and everything that has been suggested, she just simply doesn't care or just feels like she CAN be this way towards me...either way, Life is too short and I have way too much to offer somebody who will appreciate me.. But, it's hard after 15 years together and three kids. ANd yes, I do AT LEAST half of the housework and I'm 100% involved with the kids, so that's not an issue...
2007-06-07 12:07:16 · update #1
Talk to her...Find out what is bothering her....Are there kids...Sometimes we just are not in the mood if we are tired. Help her out around the house. Talk to her, see if something is wrong. Just because she rejects you in bed..Doesn't mean your marriage is over. I've been married going on 9 years and I occasionally reject my hubby...We're not always in the mood and cannot be turned on like a light switch.
Next time...If she is in the shower doing what you think she is doing...Why don't you go in there and ask her if you can join her...Spice things up a bit. And make sure you are loving her in other ways during the day, by helping her out around the house..Hug her kiss her, show her affection. Foreplay is not just the few minutes before the act...It should be all day by showing her that you love her.
2007-06-07 12:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by MRod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like she may be having an affair. It's hard to say but if you really want to know what's going on have a private investigator follow her around for a week. It's worth the investment. If he finds out she has a boyfriend then you'll have your answer and you can divorce her. If not, then perhaps you might need to try some marriage counseling. I would definitely find out if she's cheating first though. Another thing you can do is to go to radio shack and buy a telephone recording device. It's very cheap and easy to use. Just hook it up to a tape recorder. (Make sure its well hidden as it's illegal in some states) Once she picks up the phone it starts recording. You can glean a lot of information this way. Good luck!
2007-06-07 12:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by Ronin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you act interested in her during the day? When I don't think I am good enough or am lacking self esteem, I usually try to avoid sex. It's a girl thing, we don't want to get naked for someone when we don't feel good enough, we don't want to be judged.
Try flirting with her throughout the day and tell her how much you love her and her body and show her how bad you want her.
I don't know if this is the problem but it could be...
I grow distant when I've been hurt. I give up when my bf isn't trying hard enough. I don't want to have sex when I'm not happy. It may just be that she's not happy with the relationship and its something you can fix. Fix it before its too late though.
Good luck! I'm sorry your dealing with this.
2007-06-07 12:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are way off on your worries, becaue if she had someone else she wouldn't be getting off that much in the shower....that is more a male thing. Sounds like either you need to really switch it up and comeout of your comfortzone...she is bored...or she has some sort of resentment towards you and it is keeping her from wanting to be with you intimately. I know for me if I am resentful of my husband I can act completely happy and normal but I don't want anything to do with him and if I have to do it I don't enjoy it and just hurry to get it over with. You need to talk to your wife, I can almost gaurentee its not another man though. But it could be if you don't communicate with her.
2007-06-07 12:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's heartbreaking, don't ask that question here. Only you know how you feel and what you can take. Women are weird, maybe she's going through something. Go out for a weekend something excititng and different with her. Sounds weird but take her to a sex shop and have fun with her maybe she just needs a change and some excitement. Maybe she wants to try things and thinks you'll be weirded out good luck and I really hope it works out.
2007-06-07 12:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Is my wife simply bored with me or do I just not do it for her anymore? Please, this is very serious.?
I think it's pretty safe to say that I just don't do it for her, she's just not that into me. Either I just plain suck in bed or she's got somebody else on the side and just doesn't care anymore, either way, something is VERY wrong. Suppose there is an issue with affection and...
2015-08-06 10:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key! Talk to her! Don't settle for the "nothings wrong, honey...." Ask her what SHE wants. Do romantic, non-sexual things away from the bedroom. Intamacy does not always have to be in the bedroom. Hold her hand when you watch a movie. Stroke her hair. Cook her dinner AND clean the kitchen. There are just a few ideas for you. Don't give you on your marriage yet! Good luck!!
2007-06-07 12:02:44 · answer #7 · answered by Wendi T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife could be menopausing and it has reduced her sex drive, if that is the case don;t worry it shall pass. However you say she is getting off in the shower, could it be that you have changed, have you gained weight, lost weight or loss income? Have you ever been caught cheating, because we don;t forget and sometimes it can be a turn off but some women stay for the financial stability.
Do yourself a favor and talk to her, tell her you need to know and if its because she os no longer interested, consider a divorce and move on life is too short.
2007-06-07 12:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jazz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Wife Is Bored
2016-10-16 05:37:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she's anything like me she gets bored very easily. Spice it up a little.
2007-06-07 21:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by mishka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋