I've seen a couple of responses to the old adage "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?". Now I think it's time for an informal poll. Did you or someone you know have a sexual relationship with another person and then get married afterwards? How did the marriage fare?
I have my own thoughts on this matter, but all responses are welcome. Just keep in mind that I want to hear stories about people's experiences, not diatribes about why the adage is right or wrong.
2007-06-07 11:45:21 · 6 answers · asked by Demon 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, of course. I lived together with my former husband as well as with my now-husband before getting married. My ex and I were together for 5 years, then I was single for 4 years, and then met my husband (together with him for 2.5 years). I don't attribute getting divorced to living together or having a "sexual relationship" before marriage. We had a good marriage, and actually had a pretty good divorce (as far as divorces go); he met someone else, and decided to go with her - and this can happen to anyone. Frankly, I don't see how us "not having a sexual relationship" before marriage would have prevented this happening four years later. A more accurate evaluation of him as a person might have prevented it from happening - if I saw the signs of trouble and never married him; but I was young and fairly inexperienced in relationships; I got to learn the hard way.
My current husband wasn't even shopping for a cow... He hadn't had "sexual relations" for 10 years before he met me, and was happy with it - until he decided he wanted to have a family; then he set out to look for a marriage partner, and found me (we met through the online personals). He wasn't terribly interested in sex, still isn't. But he wants to have partner, to have a family; which is exactly the same thing that I want. Don't think that us living together for a year before signing the marriage license will undermine our common goal or take away from our companionship.
OK, suppose the two people wait to have sex until they're married. How is it going to make their marriage better? After a while, as the new-ness wears off, they will encounter all the normal issues that arise when two people are building a relationship. They will still have to be mature adults, and handle their marriage in a responsible way, for it to succeed - and waiting to have sex doesn't necessarily make you responsible or mature.
2007-06-07 12:11:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I most definately had sex with my hubby before we got married and we are still marriedto this day 16 years and counting!!!
2007-06-07 11:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by cdan8ive 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to know if the cow likes it rough first to know if you can keep the cow. Maybe the cow doesn't give oral, that would be problematic. Test the cow then buy the cow. Good luck ; ) I hate farms
2007-06-07 11:52:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think it is true.
i am sleeping with a man that says he will leave his wife for me. he's talked to his parents about it too.
but, he is stalling.
and it is because...why come to me when I'm just giving it to him.
and, i've withheld for 2 weeks...and he comes crawling to me with empty promises it seems.
So, yea... that is a great line, and true.
2007-06-07 11:50:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
dude...are you kidding? There are millions of married and not married people!
2007-06-07 11:49:34 · answer #5 · answered by kevbeer2003 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
no sex b4 - very happy marriage
2007-06-07 11:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by mel s 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋