how can i accept the fact that i am suppose t be okay with being alone and waiting?

Question

i am so tired and lonely. just waiting all the time for my truck driving husband to come home. all i do is wait. i have no transportation, no groceries, and this is due to the fact that he has to work his butt off to pay off arrears childsupport on kids he has not seen in l5 years. lawyers have no anwsers on the reduction amount because he makes more money now and they would just add more on. i have no life and when he is home all he wants to do is stay home. can't go anywhere any way because of money. i need to have 2 knee sugergies and we can't afford insurance. i am going to file for legal separation to get help from the heatlh dept. because we make to much money for welfare. i feel like i have no life. i go to work, go to wal mart, go home. we just moved to a new town and i have only the people i work with to have any social contact. i just don't know how much more waiting i can do. sometimes i wish i would just go away...

Answer 1

hi
i read ur story twice and i think u soudlnt waste ur life in waiting for anything unless its waiting for the right person. it seems like u already knew he have to pay child support when u frst married him , and guess that was ok with u or u woudlnt marry him. what has changed since? does ur love to him change? i understand that having to have teh knee surgery makes u so depressed and hurt and it adds to ur loneliness , but i do beleive u shoduont take any step right now other than taking care of the knee surgery issue. i read about this all the time and guess truck drivers' wifes' life is the worse but i heared that gettin to knwo otehr drivers wives make sit alot easier for u. and having a job is a bliss. u need top sory ur priorieties right now. ur knee suregery first and when u r ok stary workin on ur marrige . if u still think u shodulnt wait anymore, just walk away dont walk away now though coz with tow bad knees dont expect to walk far enough :) take care and get well soon

Answer 2

I can relate to part of what you are saying because my husband is gone a lot too and I feel that I spend the majority of my time fixing the house, cleaning the house, and trying to save money. That would mean that I also tend to not go anywhere other than to work, to the gym (which is free), and to the store. I still don't know many people here and it seems hard to go out and meet new friends. I'm just trying to do the best that I can and it sounds like you are trying the best you can too with the given circumstances. How do you get to and from work? There's got to be a way to get you some mode of transportation. Maybe review your finances and see if there is anyway that you can get a vehicle of some sort even if it's a Dodge Neon. Check out craigslist for your area (they have everything you could possilby want on there) or search for cars online with a specific monetary amount. Maybe see if any of the churches or non-profits in the area can help as well with a vehicle or groceries. As for your knee surgeries, I would also look into churches or non-profits. Are there any free clinics in your area? They not be able to actually preform surgery, but they just might know of a hospital willing to help. You shouldn't have to separate from your husband just to be able to get medical care and that thought makes me really mad because it is not right. Just keep searching on-line and e-mail people and agencies about your plight. Someone somewhere knows of either an agency, a non-profit, or a person who would be willing to help you. If worse comes to worse, I would actually contact your Congressman or woman and Senator about the above. Poltical figures and their offices can often work wonders and they know a heck of a lot of loopholes. In regards to having a limited social life, how well do you know your co-workers and, if you get along with them, can you spend some time with them outside of work? I know that there has to be a way somehow to make your life better and I believe that you have the capacity to do it. I am sorry that it is so tough for you right now. Believe me, I've been there when I was living off of Ramen for months at time. Just know that nearly everyone goes through hard times at one point in there life and it often gets a heck of a lot better. A friend of mine always said that "God never gives us any more than we can handle." I don't know if you are religious or not, but I always took it to mean that we are often offered challenges in life and it is up to us to overcome them. Please try to take care of yourself and know that I am thinking postive thoughts for you.

Answer 3

The knee surgery and being all alone in a new town makes things look even worse than they are. It takes time to make friends, but I am sure it will happen.

When you get through with the surgery, recover, and finally have right to take some days off, why don't join your hubby on one of his trips and try having fun like in the beginning?

This is just a bad period in your life. Head up babe, the sun will rise after the rain :)

Answer 4

You need to find a hobby that you can do while you are stuck at home. My wife is disabled and I used to work evening shift 2-12 so she was home with no car, no phone and no computer at the time. She would have gone crazy if she hadn't gotten involved in a hobby. She does crafts, makes jewelry. She has a lot of pain and it is good for her hands and mentally as well to stay busy. If you like to read, you can get free books from the library. Books are a great way to escape from your life for a while. Try it, I think you'll find it helps a lot. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

its not ok.