Well my husband and I just got married in Sept. 2006, everything was fine but recently I decided to do a little investagation because I had a feeling he as lying about something... so I did I found this girl on myspace and asked her what went on between her and him she said they saw eachother for a month or 2... it's a long story I just need some help and advice... please IM me
yahoo ID. j_guerr01 ..... MSN: jbote131@hotmail.com
PLease someone help me!!!
2007-06-07 10:43:15 · 16 answers · asked by Nay nay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is between you and your husband.
Talk to him. Communicate. Don't accuse him of anything. Act like an adult and have a conversation with you. Explain your concerns and listen to him.
2007-06-07 10:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm assuming you don't have kids. I know it's cliche and has fallen into disfavor, but if you have kids, leaving may not be a wise move, especially since you two haven't been married long, so haven't had the time to work through problems.
So, if no kids...
I agree with everyone who says talk to him. You don't necessarily have to bolt and kick his *** out at the first sign of trouble in the relationship. To talk to him, you'll first have to figure out how to get around the fact that you were snooping his myspace. He will likely take that as an opportunity to turn everything around on you. But either way, if it will open the lines of communication better, that's a start.
I would recommend that the two of you seek marriage counseling, whatever the outcome, to deal with the fallout of this situation and with the obvious (and apparently reasonable) trust issues. If he's not open to that, or if he is but it will take awhile to see a counselor, get a marriage self-help book that has exercises in it for the two of you to work through together. They're dorky and make you feel a little foolish, but, again, it opens the lines of communication.
My last bit of advice: Maybe this will end your marriage, maybe you'll endure it, maybe it will even make it stronger. You only know if you try, rather than just running out. I think running out on marriage without trying VERY hard first is one of the roots of the problems in western society. Stop worrying about feeling foolish or deceived or whatever and give your vows a chance to work. He may have cheated. He may never stop, and getting out may be best. Or, he may truly love you and he may have screwed up, maybe more than once, but he may have change in him. It's amazing what people can do when they are shown that they are unconditionally loved (within reason). If he was worth marrying, he's worth giving a second chance. Infidelity sucks; but it's not the end of the world.
I guess, in sum, if you love this man and he says he loves you, give him a chance to prove it -- with some professional help and guidance -- before you throw it away.
Good luck -- you are in my thoughts!
2007-06-07 18:42:18 · answer #2 · answered by Tim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speak to him calmly when the mood is right about your concerns. Don't wait too long though. Don't put him on the defensive by asking why. Just let him explain it. Then, decide your next steps.
2007-06-07 17:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok- was he seeing her before or after you were married.
If he has been seeing her since you were married, then get out of there, he is a jerk and you don't need him. If he was seeing her before you but is still in contact with her, then loose him. If this was prior to your relationship with him, and he has no contact, then you should not worry.
2007-06-07 18:07:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long did you date him before getting married?
2007-06-07 17:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Husband dated someone before you were married....yet he married you...Sounds like you got the better end of the deal. Snooping cause angst, angst causes divorce, think hard if you really want to pursue this.
2007-06-07 17:46:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh stop it. You asked some stranger on myspace about your husband, and now you're looking to get email from more strangers about him? Get real. Get marriage therapy.
2007-06-07 17:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
we all find out things about them eventually, i found out a lot of things about mine recently and we had been married for 30 years.
2007-06-07 17:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by tannerlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Id ask him about it,see his reaction, and decide who you trust more.
2007-06-07 17:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by ...Tammy... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divore that *** hole and go find a much better guy who wont do that and then when u do go talk to this old ****** and gloat about ur great life in his ******* face!!
2007-06-07 17:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋