have you ever heard of a mother losing her kids that have stayed with her since birth. my childrens father is trying to get custody of the kids but he has not done anything for them since they have been born. i mean he was paying for daycare on and off so i filed for child support and at the child support meeting he said he wants custody of the kids so we have to go to court. the kids have never spent the night with him, he used to keep them every other weekend while i worked but he does not even do that anymore. should i be concerend? should i get a lawyer or do you think i can fight this one by myself? thanks in advance. btw the kids are 4 and 2.
2007-06-07 10:41:47 · 26 answers · asked by I love dooneys 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
first of all CALM DOWN!! he has too much power over you. his words are killing you and he knows it. he may seriously try to get them but the fact you and EVERYONE including him will have to testify that he has never had them over at his home is proof that living with him is NOT in the best interest of the children. and NO they do not take kids away from mothers who are clean, sober and providing food and shelter. and yes you need to get a lawyer and have a judgement made BEFORE he goes to court on his own. he's just upset that you filed for child support. and please please please!!! believe me that courts dont like men who think filing for custody to avoid paying child support. he's not the first one to come up with this plan sweetie!! he's just dumb enough to believe he's the first one! so calm down, provide for your children and get a lawyer. good luck and be blessed! feel free to email me if you want to chat!
2007-06-07 10:49:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, don't go in on this alone. Get a lawyer. When you go into the hearing, the courts will decide this one idea, "Who can provide the best care for the child?" The courts will probably not look at how long the children stayed with you or how much they've spent time with the father. They are taking the interest of the children. They don't care how much you don't get along with the father. They don't care how much he's been involved.
However, a mother's bond is a mother's bond. The courts won't take that away from you.
The only way he would probably get them over you is if you totally cannot provide for the children. Let's just say for example that you don't have money and your quality of living is poor, then, I can see him winning the case. However, if you've been providing for them adequately this long, I don't see any reason why the courts will take them away.
2007-06-07 10:49:44 · answer #2 · answered by Scott D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer...first and foremost. There has to be a reason that he is trying "to take the kids." The courts will not take children from a custodial mother without a reason. Now, if you have been in jail or had any troubles with the law, then you REALLY need a lawyer on your side. If you have been a good mother who has taken care of these children with a minimal of support from him, then you can relax....as you GET A LAWYER. You keep taking good care of the children and know that the court will have one focus: to do what is in the best interest of the children. If you have given NO reason that your custody is not in the children's best interest, then you will be fine.
2007-06-07 10:46:30 · answer #3 · answered by DinahLynne 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been a similar situation. When my daughter's mother left me, I was told that there was no way to get custody of her unless the mother is a criminal or a drug addict. So, as long as you are neither, you'll be OK, unless the laws are different where you are.
Yes, get a lawyer. It is not a good idea to go this alone. You need a professional that knows the laws of where you live. Also, since he has a bad record of paying support and all that stuff, he really doesn't have a leg to stand on. However, he does have rights. As the father of the children, he is not only responsible for them, but he also has a right to be their father. By this, I mean, he should be allowed to have them on weekends and some holidays. It is not right to expect him to pay for the children's needs, and yet not be allowed to spend time with them. So, you should push for his parental rights's, which is the right thing to do.
I hope you the best of luck in this. I got custody of my daughter when her mother committed suicide!!!
2007-06-07 10:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer and nip this in the bud, girl. Most men think that they can raise the kids on the cheap and want to try that before they give YOU a dime. They're out of touch and have no idea what it takes, especially for a 2 & 4 year old. Get a lawyer and don't say another word about this to anyone but your lawyer. Leave the kids out of it. They don't need to get worked up over something that isn't going to happen. Good luck honey.
2007-06-07 10:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all comes down to your records, any bad marks in your history things like that. Judges usually rule in favor of the mother, especially if she has been a stay at home mom or the father has spent a lot of time away from the family. If you can support yourself, part of the children's expenses, and live in a safe and stable home you will get custody. If you can afford a lawyer it may be worth it, at least call most give free consultations.
2007-06-07 10:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by pfchawkinson 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To lose custody you would have to be an abusive mother or a drug addict. Its very difficult for a father to get custody. It sounds like he just wants to give you a hard time and make you and the children miserable. It also sounds like he does not want to pay support. I would get a lawyer because I would fight and since I dont know what he is capable of I would not want to not get the proper legal counsel. Good luck and I hope this helps
2007-06-07 10:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by nylatinanurse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you've done something that would make you an un-fit parent I don't think you need to worry about losing custody. BUT, there's always the possibility of joint-custody so the kids would be with him half the time. If you're not ok with that then you should probably get a lawyer.
2007-06-07 10:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get a lawyer no matter what. But considering that hes never been with or even seen the kids at all then he can't get full custody
2007-06-07 10:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get a lawyer but in your case a competent lawyer will easily help you retain the kids.
Remember the courts are biased towards the mother. *05 of all custody cases are decided int he mother's favor.
2007-06-07 10:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by The Oracle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋