Why don't I have any friends?

Question

I have zero friends. I am high-functioning autistic. I am also 5'2" and weigh 240. No one wants to be my friend. WHY?

High functioning autism means I have average or above average intelligence, can go to regular school, but still have trouble with social situations. I have major trouble understanding the social scene at school and am an outcast.

I know I have a weight problem, and am trying to lose it, but it will take time. People at school make fun of me because of my weight and being autistic. They don't want to be my friend.

Also, my avatar was chosen to attract attention, not be funny.

Answer 1

Yay, I'm an outcast too! But I'm just an idiot and no one understands me, like an emo...

Answer 2

Since you're an "outcast" they think they'll be one too - which is really unfair. It happens all the time though, you're not alone! Are there any other "outcasts" in your school? Make friends with them! There are always other ways to make friends too: Make jokes about your insecuraties! Everyone loves a funny person. The avatar was a start - it made me wonder what you had to say! School kids can be pretty mean -- but don't stoop to their level, step above it! Do nice things for a few of your classmates or neighbors and I'm sure at least ONE will come around! Kill them with kindness and laughter! Be confident and everyone will see that you're a good person inside! It all starts with YOU. Be your own best friend and everyone else will run right along with it. Insecurities shine bright but confidence shines brighter!

Answer 3

Just hang in there. I remember how hard high school was and it seems that everyone you talk to was way less than thrilled with their high school years - even if they were popular.

Not sure about the size of your town, but is there anything you can get involved in OUTSIDE of the school? A class for something you are interested in (pottery, ceramics, etc), a reading club, etc? I had a pen pal in another country too, which was a LOT of fun. Seeing pics of where they live, etc... maybe that would be a good idea too.

I didn't have a lot of friends in high school, but I did make friends more easily away from school. I have no idea why things were that way, but it did help me to realize that life does NOT revolve around high school. It's a necessity, but it is only temporary.

Keep at it and please try not to let the people at school bother you, although I know it's so hard. There IS life after high school and the immature, shallow people that you are having to deal with won't be a part of your life forever.

Love yourself. Find things that make YOU happy and fulfill YOU. That will make you so much happier than trying to figure out how to get someone else to be your friend. True friends will come to you.

Answer 4

OK, so weight is a personal issue..join the club, trust me, you will never find an honest individual that is totally satisfied with their body, there is always something they want to change. Friends are an important part of any ones life and a necessity when it comes to dealing with school. they make you laugh, cry and happy and having none can be seriously upsetting. But, there is a plus side, these people who make fun, are shallow, insecure and immature. clearly they have issues of their own and are channeling their own personal matters onto you. You are an intelligent person who probably has friends but doesn't realize it. When we feel alone we can subconsciously shut out the world and reject friends because we feel their just being sympathetic and patronizing. When people want to listen to you, let them, and when they want to talk, listen to them. It is easier to loose a friend than it is to gain them, but it feels so good to have people by your side. perhaps join a weight watchers meeting and make friends of your own there, ones that share a situation with you and you will find you have a lot more in common!
keep smiling
xx

Answer 5

The reason why people won't even try to be friends with an outcast is because of fear. They're afraid that if they become your friend, it might cause them to become outcasts too.

So, you should start by trying to make secret friends. People who will talk to you secretly, when nobody else knows. After you make a lot of secret friends, it will be easier to stop being an outcast. The easiest secret friends to make are those who have never even met you before, nor any of the kids at your school. After you make friends with some of them, you can start figuring out how to be secret friends with some of the kids at school. Start with the other outcasts, and gradually try to make more and more secret friends after that.

Answer 6

when people grow up alittle they will like you. You will have friends that like you for you. Just be yourself and be a nice person despite how horrible others can be. When you make a true friend all you need is 1 or 2 and they will be worth it. Go to counceling and learn how to try and talk friendly to people. You can do it. Once people see who you are inside they will like you. It is tough because they have no idea who "you" are. It is like they speak a different language than you. So you have to think like you are in a different country- how would you make friends then? By your actions- help others that might need a little help (like they dropped a pencil pick it up for them), smile a little, be repectful, watch others and see what they do and learn from their actions. Watch and learn, see how people act when others say nice things. See how people interact and try and do it too. Find ways to show people that you are a good person. They are just blind and cannot see you for you. When they grow up it will be better trust me. But for now, just try and learn and remember to always love you because you are here for a reason. They are just not very wise yet, so they are foolish and will say mean things...see how older people are nice to you - they are wiser and have learned. Do not hate the foolish ones, they are just not smart in the ways of the world yet.

Answer 7

You already answered your own question.... plus people (not all) are major ******* who enjoy feeling better than others, people are being repelled by your short height and major weight and the autistic bonus. Just focus on socializing with people who aren't *******, lose some weight, I'm only saying to lose weight because you are short. Join some clubs.

Answer 8

of course trying to change the way you meet people isnt much of a great idea but you can modify it till its not a burden to do so...

u know what? i have a "am i thin" complex, its getting better now, after 3 years of exercise but now i feel, theres nothing wrong to live the way we naturally exist cuz thats already the best way for us, given by the nature.....

are you sure you have zero friends? cuz sometimes people who are just one step behind from being our friends dont show up till you approach them the way they expect....

who talks to you the best in school? and never do the biggest mistake [like i used to] of rapping those who stand with the ones who make fun of you, but dont say a word themselves, in the same category as the 'bad ones' cuz they arent.....if they were eicked enough, why didnt they jump in to make some better jokes out of you??? think about it!

about being autistic, just ignore it and trust me, i ve just looked up google to know what being 'autistic' means....lol......all i mean is maybe half of the people around are like me with less glossary and absolutely minimum working memory...;) dont worry!
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if u beieve in writing emails and being friends through words then i m ur readymade friend....! and i m not saying just to sympathise you....!

i recently went on a dusty trip and me n my friend are workin on a website about the journey, and a mission which is a secret yet!

dont worry dude!
everyone in the world has some complaint about themselves, the only difference is that they dont care about it!!

dontforce yourself to be a full fledged will smith, but try to be more socially presentable....interact and help where you can....

ask clearly if u need help, i was too shy of girls till 2004; when i went on a college-trip, i fell from a small bridge and water was too cold and fast; i had a hand and my face outside the water and all i could find was a girl, who i was too shy of.....for the first time, i called a girl's name so loud [heeehee!] , she pulled me out and became a very good friend of mine.....

anyway.....
ATbest!

[e-mail]

Answer 9

sound like you got some problems buddy... do you shower regularly? nobody likes a smelly person. So some idiot makes fun of you, for what, being smarter than they are? Big deal.. just know that those people are shallow and wouldn't make good friends anyway. As for your social anxiety, all you can do is practice, right? Maybe talk to a doctor about some anxiety medication. keep your chin up, you'll find a friend someday. Good luck!

Answer 10

Everybody probably notices that you don't have friends. Do you really think EVERY single person makes fun of you? Of course not. There are obviously people who feel bad for you, and want to be your friend. Try and find these people! Also, try and start conversations with people. Even just saying "hi!" in the halls could change someone's opinion. Maybe going up to someone and introducing yourself. Like ths:
"Hey. My name is _________. How's it goin?"
One thing of advice though, don't do this to popular people. They will end up making fun of you more. Try some really nice people, not really popular. Good Luck!!!

Answer 11

Don't listen to those jerks that make fun of you. They have nothing better to do. Plus, you're smart and I'm sure you have a wonderful family that cares about you a whole lot. As far as I know, it's your intelligence that will get you places in your life where you'll meet people that will be worth your time.