My husband is in the army....?

Question

and he wants me to get pregnant before he gets deployed to Afghanastain (sp??) next Spring. I'm not sure if I want to be a parent to a newborn all by myself. Our families live in another state, so I wouldn't have much help. Part of me thinks yes, because he might not come home and I would have a part of him for the rest of my life. Any suggestions from someone whos been thru this situation before?? Even if you haven't, your suggestions would be helpful.

Answer 1

It's hard to have children in the military. The spouse is bound to miss something-birth, first steps, first birthday. Here are some questions for you: Do you feel capable of having a child by yourself? Heaven forbid should something happen to your husband, would you be okay by yourself? The reason I ask is if you feel that you couldn't (and it's okay to feel that way) then you should wait. There are ways to have him feel included: sending videotapes of your child; some military hospitals can broadcast the birth so your husband can watch as your child is being delivered. Another option is if you could go to your parents or his parents house while he is deployed. That way you have a support system surrounding you and you're not by yourself. Plus, it's a good bonding experience for you and the grandparents. My husband and I have been in a similar situation. He's been deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq twice with the army. We've decided to wait until the deployments calm down a little (if they do!) since my husband doesn't want to miss that much. It's really up to you and your husband. Good luck with your decision!!

Answer 2

My perspective on this comes from a slightly different point of view than most of the other posters. My husband is a medically discharged Army Ranger. Jump wings, Ranger scroll, the whole nine yards. When he had to leave the Army, he was a Master Sergeant. He'd been a platoon sergeant and first sergeant for many years.
Once of the biggest problems he had during two deployments to Iraq were men who were distracted because they were thinking about their families at home. These men just weren't able to concentrate on their jobs because half their minds were back home with pregnant wives, children about to graduate, and all sorts of other family stuff.
My honest opinion is that you should wait. I know life is full of uncertainty, especially when your husband is in the armed forces. But I think that you'll go through pregnancy more easily if he's with you and I think he'll have his head on straight while in Iraq if he's not concerned about you and the baby. He may say now that he'll be fine but once he gets over there and the reality of war sinks in, he WILL think about you and it WILL affect his ability to do his job. Wait till he gets home and you can share the joy together.

Answer 3

I haven't been in this situation but I can offer my honest opinion. About the only thing I can say is don't get pregnant if your not ready cause you will regret it later i life when you cannot go party ot hang out or have "you time"
Trust me..I'm only 22 but I have a 14 month old and a 5 yr. old step-son so I'm not able to go anywhere.
Don't get me wrong my boys are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I absolutely love being a mommy but there are days when I just wanna break down and cry cause I feel stuck at home.

Talk to your hubby more about it, and you guys need to make a decision together.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel, I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend who is in the army right now. He hasnt been deployed yet but my fear is that he will be soon. I wouldnt know what to do, I have a one year old from my ex and I know how hard it has been to raise her on my own. My b/f now has always been there for her when he can, but I fear her not knowing who he is after he leaves. It seems silly, but it depends on how you feel. Dont let any one tell you it is or isnt right, do what you feel is right, if you feel you are ready and want a baby right now then do it. Raising a child on your own is hard, but its incredibly rewarding!! Let me tell you, I love my little girl to death and although its been rough, I wouldnt take it back. Just remember that. If he's there or not, you're going to love your child the same.

Answer 5

First of all, you always want to be (if you can help it) emotionally and mentally ready for a new baby. If you are unsure about handlying a newborn all by yourself while he is away, then you should really confide in him and let him know this.
And try to think positively as well. He will come home from Afghanistan!
And when he get's home for good, then you two can raise that family you want together!

Answer 6

my husband left when your first was 4 weeks old and came back when he was almost 2. Anyways, it was one of the hardest things I had to do by myself, I honestly give massive props to single moms, I didn't even have to worry about making money to pay the bills and I was going crazy. I didn't want to leave my baby with anyone cause I didn't want him to get hurt and then if my husband did not come home I would have nothing left. It is a hard choice but it is something you and your husband need to talk about. Good Luck!

Answer 7

im 30wks pregnant and my hubby is over there now on a ship in the navy.....

i have a 2 yr old i live in CA and all my family is in OH

its been really rough and hard for me and now imma about to have a 2nd c-section my hubby is coming home tho in 6 wks..

this whole pregnancy ive done by myself and it is tiresome and exhausting . (my mother was killed 1 month b/fore he deployed so its been really hard on me.)

but i cant wait to have my baby and nor can my hubby.

when will ur hubby be home? 1 yr? mine only gone for 7 months..... so he will be back next month. :)

good luck:)

Answer 8

It all comes down to love and faith in God. When he is deployed it doesn't mean you have to stay where you currently are to have the child......there are also support groups on whatever post you may be currenlty assigned.

Answer 9

Don't get pregnant if you aren't absolutely ready. I understand the wanting to have his child "just in case." Ask him to go to a sperm bank and have a few vials of sperm frozen.

Answer 10

i say yes