future mother in law insists on having real flowers for our wedding....however the flowers i want (orchids) will cost $800+. We, the couple do not want to send that amount on flowers alone, she keeps insisting the issue. What would you say to her without hurting her feelings but, getting your point across that you rather get silk instead or real?
2007-06-07 08:18:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Explain to her that you want orchids,and that you are not willing to compromise on that. Tell her that you would certainly prefer to have them fresh, but that you could do far more with the money, rather than spend it on flowers. Another good reason for having silk is that they will be able to be kept as a memento of your wedding. I'm sure if you tell her that she would be more than welcome to buy the fresh ones herself, she will soon agree that the silk ones are a very good idea! Good luck, it is not easy to have your first disagreement with your mother in law, but I feel sure that putting your foot down now will be the best thing for your relationship with her, as she will know that you are able to stand your ground, and will respect you for it in future.
2007-06-07 10:31:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time she brings it up just say that you budgeted for artificial flowers and that you feel that they will be just as nice for your wedding day. If she presses the issue maybe have your fiance speak to his mother and reiterate that you are trying to stay within a budget and start your married life off without being in debt. If she keeps pressing I would defiantly have your fiance mention that if it is that important to her (because it is not to the two of you) she can contribute money towards real flowers.
2007-06-07 08:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by skittle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she pays for live flowers and get the kind you want that will be fine with you, otherwise we will save money and get silk ones.
Explain that she needs to realize her role in relation to her daughter is changing and moving more in the advisor direction. Her daughter will now be working with you her husband to make decisions together. Her daughter is taking a big step from being more directly tied to mother to being directly tied to her husband. Where there was just your wife's nuclear family composed of her, her siblings and her parents, your wife now has her own nuclear family composed only of herself and her husband. The mother now becomes a mother-in-law, becomes a grandma to be, becomes much less involved in her daughter's day to day life. Mother is no longer a major decision maker for daughter. Daughter has become a wife and no doubt soon a mother her self. It is time to pass the batton mom. You are going to have to shift your perspective in a major way. You are not longer chairman of the board. You have been retired from that job. You need to respectfully and gracefully bow out what is now no longer your business. Daughter is leaving you and merging her life with her husband's life. Mother you must remain only in the back ground, not front and center. Don't meddle or be controling, it is just not becoming of a women of your status and station in life.
2007-06-07 08:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by Toosense2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am engaged and planning a wedding with my girl and her Mom do try to attempt to push in.. Just say in a nice way that "We appreciate your answer and love the fact you want to be a part of the wedding and will keep it in mind. But we like the orchids because it symbolizes our relationship." And if that doesn't work get her child your spouse to handle it.
2007-06-07 08:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by A-Rock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are highly allergic to real flowers and would be sick all during the wedding if you had real ones. Or you could be honest and tell her that your budget doesn't allow for real flowers however if she insists upon having them she can feel free to pay for them herself.
2007-06-07 08:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you cannot afford them, or that you would rather put that money towards other things. If she persists tell her that you would love to have the real flowers too, but that you don't think they are the best use of the money at hand, but if she would like to make them happen for you, you would sincerely appreciate it.
2007-06-07 09:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by Therious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, I agree that real flowers look better and would preferereal flowers but since silk flowers are more affordable, we will have to do with second best. Unless that is, you would like to buy them?
2007-06-07 08:58:32 · answer #7 · answered by boohoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you can't afford real flowers, but if it means that much to her to have real flowers tell her that she's more than welcome to pay for them. This might be your first disagreement but it certainly won't be your last. Don't give in to her now or she'll think she can always get her way with you. It's Your wedding it should be whatever you and your so to be husband want it to be.
2007-06-07 08:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by tjmoore83102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that I appreciate her input and her passion for real flowers however our budget cannot accomodate such an extravegance and you hope that she can understand the wedding will be beautiful with whatever flowers you choose.
2007-06-07 08:22:53 · answer #9 · answered by juda75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say if you want real flowers at my wedding then pay for them.
2007-06-07 08:22:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋