My husband and i have been together almost 10 years and married for 3 of the ten. Since we've been married my husband has cheated on me at least 4 times that i know of one being three days after we got married. I know i should have left then ,but i just called myself paying him back by sleeping with someone else. His lastest was a girl he worked with .When is enough, enough? I do love my husband but i cant keep pertending i'm happy. He says he sorry and want to start over by renewing our vows. So what should i do. I only want serious commets that can help me.
2007-06-07 07:38:37 · 20 answers · asked by msnettaboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I personally would just leave. If he doesn't have enought love and respect to not cheat to begin with, then why would he now?
2007-06-07 07:42:16 · answer #1 · answered by jrhod263 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through a divorce and it is not pretty. It really does not make anything any better. I am all for working things out in a marriage, but sometimes you just can't. Sometimes, when you have had enough... then it is already over for you, even though you are still married to the person. Getting a divorce and going through with it was the hardest thing I have had to do so far, but I do feel better now that it is all said and done. Just think about this... is this where I want to be for the rest of my life, or do I deserve to be truly happy with someone that will treat me like I need to be treated? Life is too short to be unhappy. Give yourself a chance at life if that is what you want to do. You deserve much better than a man who will cheat on you and you know it. :)
2007-06-07 08:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by ashley_babyfaith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SvetlanaFunGirl you couldn't be more wrong...are you kidding me???? An open marriage? What the hell is wrong with you??
Look, marriage counseling (and lots of it) is the ONLY way you're going to be able to salvage this relationship. It's a very good sign that he wants to renew the vows but do you really think that's going to change his behavior? I can almost understanding cheating once, but 4 times??...the latest being someone he works with? There's no trust in this relationship and you and I both know at this point, it's just about over with unless the two of you get some outside help.
Do yourself and your husband a favor and go to counseling. If he wants to renew vows, make it conditional on the contingent that the two of you get some help.
Good luck, I will certainly light a candle for you at church tonight.
2007-06-07 07:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When is enough, enough? Four times is enough. Really two times was enough. You can forgive somebody for doing something to you, but if they continue to do it then they have no remorse. He obvsiouly does not care about your feelings because if he did he would stop cheating and be faithful to you. You deserve better than this. You shouldn't have cheated on him though. Two wrongs don't make a right. If I were you I would leave him. See you are in a bad position because by him cheating on you four or more times, and you accepting him back time and time again then he knows there are not any consequences behind his actions. He can do what he wants and you'll always be there to take him back. What good is renewing your vows going to do if he's still going to do the same old thing? People do not change UNLESS they want to. You can not change him. Move on with your life. Don't be a doormat.
2007-06-07 07:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough would be when you can't take it anymore and you start to make some hard decisions. Either you get the commitment that he is willing to make an honest effort to make it work (if that is what you want) and I am not talking about a "showy" statement like renewing your vows. It will take your mind off of it for a little while but when its over what then? Or the two of you part ways. Subjects like this are never easy but you know YOUR truth in this.......... Act on it command your respect.
2007-06-07 07:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by Noire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I can understand you trying to stay after the first time but honey it has happened so many times now he knows he can continue and you will do nothing about it. You know as well as I do that doing it your self isnt what you should have done why lower your self there is no sence in it. You know what you should do and renewing your marrage vows that have been thrown out the window is not it. I hope what ever your desition that you have the best because you have settled to less way to long.
2007-06-07 09:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to get to the root of your problems why you have the need to cheat. What needs are lacking for each one of you that the other one is not meeting? Only the two of you can work out what is wrong in your marriage. If you have children, you need to have a night out once a week just to spend a couple hours alone to share your thoughts, idea's and goals to keep your future together. You need to date one another and light those fires and work on the marriage. Put the past behind you and start fresh today to be more loving, kind, and respect each other. If you work hard to make him happy and he works hard to make you happy, both of you will win. Good Luck!
2007-06-07 07:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by Roach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like both of you need to take some time and learn what relationships are all about. He cheated on you, you got him back by sleeping with someone else, it sounds like a mess. If you are seriously considering staying in this relationship, maybe you should get some marriage couseling, and really try to stay faithful to each other. Otherwise, what's the point, just divorce and get it over.
2007-06-07 07:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Care 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 years is a long long time. so people: she cant just leave.
its hard to leave &i personally wouldnt want an open relationship. because it would make me sick to think of my boyfriend with someone else then with me. i do think you should talk to him and maybe try out the "new vows" thing. if it doesnt work then it might be time for you to move on. good luck.
2007-06-08 10:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by misty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You brought it upon yourself...you let him cheat SH*T girl you should of left and divorce the motherf*cker when you found out he cheated the first time and 3 days after you guys married that's low of your husband , your husband does not love you and does not respect you at all. LEAVE HIM!!! DIVORCE!!! You fell for his bait and he wheeled you in, now you need to let go of his bait and wheel your A*s out of this marriage.
2007-06-07 07:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Habitual cheaters don't change. He will cheat on you over and over and over. He is putting your health at risk. I don't want you to end up like my friend who got Herpes because her husband couldn't keep it in his pants. I know another woman who ended up with Warts because of a cheating husband. Is that what you want for yourself? A permanent STD?
2007-06-07 07:47:22 · answer #11 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋