OK then How do you learn to love yourself??

Question

the advice I got for my last question was to love myself....something I have tons of trouble with...I want to but can't seem to figure it out...

are there things i could be doing or tools i could be using to get this right?

Answer 1

Personally I think the fact that you would even ask such a thing makes you more loveable then most people. It shows you feel and care.

I think you have to ask some hard questions and then go from there. Starting with, "Why shouldn't you love yourself?" Is there a legitimate reason not to? Or have you just convinced yourself that you are not loveable?

If there is a reason you do not love yourself, like maybe you drowned a whole class of 1st graders, well then I would suggest you get some real counseling! Or maybe it is something more mundane but a lot more common, maybe you think loving yourself is about how you look, but how we look is only skin deep and has so little to do with what we are really about. So do not buy into that trap.

Maybe you are down on yourself because you are setting un-realistic expectations. I do that. I look in the mirror and tell myself I am going to eat better and then a piece of chocolate chip cake covered in chocolate chip icing runs me over and jumps into my mouth! So I start to feel bad because I made a mistake. But we all make mistakes and the point is not where you have been but where you are headed. So taking a long range view on yourself and how you want to change helps a lot in loving who you are today. You are a work in progress.

Maybe you were rejected a lot, or felt rejected by your peers growing up. I did. I stuttered when I talked, I was a cross between Pippy Longstocking and a troll! I was 19 before I grew boobs. Honest I used to stuff my bra to look flat! Guys were more interested in their own hands then me.

I think a sense of humor helps also; we need to be able to realize we are not perfect and to laugh at our imperfections.

Last we are our own worst critic, I bet if you asked your 3 closest friends to describe you as a person you would think they were lying when they point out the positive things about you.

Hope I helped

- Inez

Answer 2

There really isn't a simple answer to this question. Learning to love yourself is a path you walk every day. If you have serious self esteem issues, start by seeing a professional. There are also many good books about this.

Start by looking at the positive aspects of yourself. Find something about you that you feel makes you a good person.

Next, identify things that you feel make a person good and admirable, and apply these principles to your own life.

Also, feed yourself positives. Hush that little voice in your mind that constantly criticizes and finds fault. When you look in the mirror, look at the things you approve of rather than the things you don' t like.

Recognize faults and things you need to work on, but don't focus on those and don't castigate yourself over your mistakes. Instead, move to correct or improve your faults, and learn from mistakes so you don't repeat them. Then lay them down and move on.

Good luck.

Answer 3

.....Loving yourself is another way of saying "be your own best friend." Start by making a case that you're a worthwhile human being, worthy of that kind of respect and friendship.

If you haven't already done so, I suggest you make a long list of your achievements, areas of knowledge, skills, and positive traits. Don't leave anything out. Then as you review each item on the list, smile and say to yourself, "This is excellent and worthwhile. This is who I am."

Giving yourself full credit for your accomplishments, abilities and qualities is like making a deposit in your personal account of self-worth. The interest you draw is self-confidence and self-esteem. The key is not to discount anything. Because if you do, there'll be nothing to deposit in your account!

Then make a commitment to being there for yourself, believing in yourself, standing up for yourself, being true to yourself, and yes...loving yourself.

A secret...it is enormously difficult to love others if you don't love yourself. And other people will be more attracted to you if you have strong self-regard.

Answer 4

Consider who you are. Are you a kind and loving person? Do you treat others with respect? Do you help your neighbors? Are you judgmental?
Think about these questions. If you don't think you are deserving of love, even from yourself, consider helping others. It is the best, fastest way I know to feel better about yourself. There are always people worse off than you who can benefit from something you have to offer.

Answer 5

Go through your closet and throw away (or donate) anything that you don't look good in. Making changes to your wardrobe is only part of it. Once you know you look amazing, you will start to feel amazing. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself how beautiful you are. It took me a LONG time to get to that point and finally, I felt comfortable in my own skin and I know that I am beautiful inside and out. Everyone is beautiful in their own right but it takes a strong person to actually admit it. Good luck dear... Have faith in yourself and others will have faith in you too!!

Answer 6

Self Examination.
1.Write down things about yourself, list accomplishments,
how you tough other peoples lives. realize your worth to others,
2. Talk to your family, find out from them, gain insight
3. Talk to your friends, ask them,
4. Look at your children, they have the deepest love for their Mommy.
5. Read the Bible Romans Chapter 8 & 1 Corinthians 13-4-7
Love is patient and kind;
it is not jealous or conceited or proud;
love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irratable;
love is not happy with evil, but us happy with the truth.
Love never gives up;
and it's faith, hope and patience will never fail.
Meanwhile these three remain:
faith, hope and love;
and the greatest of these is love.
Which is eternal

God loves you, He made you in His image. You are special, You matter. Think about these things. Talk to you pastor about them.

Answer 7

First accept yourself which merely means viewing yourself in a nonjudgemental way and accept who you are. Dont ever judge yourself, be mindful, in the present, and take full responsibility for your actions and your life and don't let your self-esteem be affected by other people. Read this book, it is very good--> Honoring the Self by Nathaniel Branden.

Answer 8

Write a list of all the good things about yourself (e.g.- talents, looks,...etc.)
If you want you can make a list about the bad things too, but make the list with good things, longer.
Another way is too act like you love yourself and if you act like it sometimes you soon start to think that too.

I can't think of anything else. Good luck!

Answer 9

First of all, you have to stop worrying about everyone else's opinion of you. Think about what things make you happy and what things you are proud of. Then know that you are amazing because you hold such a sense of pride in what you believe in. Knowing you control your life, and not letting anyone else control your decisions will make you love yourself for the amazing person you are.

Answer 10

One of the first tricks to loving and learning to love yourself...is to give yourself permission to love yourself, it is ok to love yourself, we have grown in a world whereupon we are taught that we need others to to love us, we now live in a world whereupon we see everywhere, the material things of life, which is doing nothing more than teaching us that we need more of everything to love, and to be loved, more money, more things, more beauty, more, more, more, the only thing we need is love, so start now and love yourself, as you are, it is easy, it is a wonderful thing to do for yourself, and the only this world needs right now is love, and its free.