If you are still with them how do you deal with it on a day to day basis. Do you still trust them, do you still feel the same way about them?
2007-06-07 05:41:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband cheated on me within the first six months of our marriage. Great guy he is but I'm the first he's ever been with of my ethnic background. He and I are of the same ethnicity but when he cheated he went back to what he was used to. We are still together and although we are currently having problems it has nothing to do with him cheating or me trusting him. It's hard to re-build that trust but the cheating spouse has to do whatever it takes to prove the other it won't happen again. I had my husband start calling me before he left work from his work phone that way if he wasn't home within the allotted time it took to get there I'd have reason to worry. We went through a lot of interrogations on my part whenever he left the house and we even went through counseling. I think that was the biggest help. I still love him because I know he is a great guy, but I will admit that when something suspicious goes on, I do worry because in the back of my mind i know what he's capable of. But I always ask questions and he's more than willing to prove it to me. So I guess what I'm saying is as the culprit, if you manage to stay together, the cheating spouse must know that a lot of hurdles will have to be jumped in order to prove any suspicious activity on their part in the future.
2007-06-07 05:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am on board.
We seperated ( and still are) but still married in the middle of a divorce but not letting go. Complicated to say the least.
I go to counseling, parenting and some support groups to help deal. Oh and most importatly I try to heal the spirit by attending church and apply what is possible. I try to keep him away but he uses the kids to come around then pressure me in forgiving him and moving back together.
He is the one who cheated. He hasnt taken any kind of outside help to address the issue of cheating and what it has done to us nor will he admit it. He is just giving me lip service about getting back together.
I wold like to get back together but it has been a year of seperation and I feel I still can not trust him so why even go there again. Yet i still care.
2007-06-07 05:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had been cheated since we were dating, cohabiting and married which is for over 15 years. I tried to trust him again and again, knowing that trusting is essential for a relationship to work. But I found that he kept on cheating on me. We separated last year. Though I still miss him. The hard times finding trust on him was like torture, for the both of us. He even lied about not having lied. It takes two to tango. It's not just about you being able to trust but the other spouse to be honest. Both of you have a lot to do and takes a lot of strengths in order to rebuild the trust once it has been lost. Hope you can work it out with your spouse.
2007-06-07 06:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by MDesperate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ex Hubby Cheated and I left his cheating a s s right where he stood that was like 6 1/2 years ago his dumb a s s is probably still trying to figure out what hit him
2007-06-07 05:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by mrsknowitall 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are trying to work thru the exact issues ourselves. It is very hard, the trust isn't really there right now. I hope it comes back with time. We are both trying really hard to make this work. Do I feel the same about him, yes. If we split up tommorrow, I'd still love him.
2007-06-07 06:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by jen o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not something that you can make go away quickly. Trust is HUGE in a relationship, and I would recommend getting therapy for both of you to make things better if both people really want to make the relationship work.
2007-06-07 05:44:48 · answer #6 · answered by aqsgtriad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband was a cheater. When I found out I realized I would never trust him again & so we are no longer married.
Thank God for that! I am now married to the most wonderful man!
2007-06-07 05:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by retropink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am with someone who cheated...Has had three other kids, (everytime we got seperated....***** ended up pregnant.)I love this person....I am learning to trust and communicate....Trust is something you need to do if you love this person...Good Luck. By the way same ***** has been in the pic for the last five years....(Because of kids...)
2007-06-07 05:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by divaliscous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i don't trust him anymore. trust has been broken and it's difficult to give it back. right now i have mix feelings and i'm not sure if i still love him the same way i did before.
2007-06-07 06:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by cecile 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was my center and now she is not.
I do things to just tick her off because I want to.
I'm happy, but if she's not too bad.
It different, but I think better over all.
As for trust heck no. I respect that she can cause me pain if she wanted to, but I don't fear the pain because I know i can survive.
2007-06-07 06:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋