Is it infidelity?

Question

I've always respected my dad's privacy but lately something has been bugging me. He tends to mention a female coworker often. I can see him chatting with her every single day. Infidelity seems to be running in the family, actually. I can't really sleep well because it's been in my head for these past few days. My parents seem happy enough though but they're good at hiding stuff from me and my sister. What exactly are the signs of infidelity? And how will I know for sure?

Answer 1

Quite frankly it's none of your business. It's between him and your mom.

Answer 2

One sign is a significant decress in the normal affection shown towards the other spouse. For example, if he used to hug your mom, and give her kisses, and you would over hear things like "stop, the kids" or "not now" or other things you recognize (and yes I am guess you would recognize the signs) as him being "frisky" with her and now it is not happening as much. Of course that could also be a sign of one or the other simply not being interested any longer. If this decress began before he started regularly talking about his co-worker, it could also be a flag. Unfortunately, there is really no way to definitely know short of breaching the subject with him. Unless you are in your upper teens or older and have a very close and trusting relationship with your parents, this would not be recommendable. Unless it is having an effect on the family in general, I would suggest letting it go and allowing them to work out any conflict there may be. If they are able to hide something like this, it has not reached the point of being serious enough for you to worry or get involved.

Oh, another possibility is that they have what is called an open marriage. In successful open marriages, communication is an important part. So, that may be the reason he talks about her so much.

Like I said, there is no way to know for sure what the situation is without talking to one or both of them about it.

Answer 3

Does your dad travel alot? Does he get home late from work or often have dinner meetings? Do you get hang up calls or does his cell phone ring often and he does not answer? Is he spending more money that usual? Have you actually seen make-up stains on his work shirts or suits?

If not, then your dad could just admire his coworker as a professional. Don´t think so much. Could be he just has a good working atmosphere, nothing more.

Answer 4

I disagree with my predecessors it is his business it's your family who will get hurt I say sit down and have a man to man with your dad let him know what's bugging you and ask him what's going on and if necessary tell your mom so that this can be stopped before it starts or goes to far if it has already started. Kudos to you for just wanting your family to stay together and also for acknowledging the early warning signs

Answer 5

I with mrs. janis in this ... why you want to know what you father do... I think is your mother problem.. not your... you mother is bother because this? stop leaving you father/mother life...

the sign of infidely are:

work late
calling the same # all the time.
go alone to places....
start liyin about see someone else, (friend, family etc.)
travel offend
bring the family somewhere and forget something and let the family in the place, and leave alone)
go to fishing alone... or with his best friend...
calling his best friend now more offend
go to help a friend and not tell who. (only a friend)

but not in this orden.. and maybe anyway.. is casulalities... so you not be sure someone is cheating until you see it.. in the act.....

good luck

Answer 6

Mind your own business. You are on the edge of creating a world of hurt for your family. Your mother knows everything she wants to know and she doesn't need any help from the children. Someday you may be able to know all the family's history but for now remain non-judgmental. You will have ample opportunity to walk in their shoes someday.

Answer 7

i think u should have a conversation with ur dad and include ur mum in that conversation too...
tell them how u feel about it because they have no right to cause u any pain...
if ur dad had to find someone else or ur mum had to find another guy then they should have not been together...
if they are happy together there is no reason why they should be having special friends at this age...
just talk to them... do not waste time and express urself and tell them u cannot sleep...
do this as soon as possible so that things do not become worse later...
also if that lady calls ur home tell her to stop talking to ur dad because u dont like it...
u r his daughter and u have every right to stop ur dad ruining ur mother's life...
be a strong girl and solve the problem... gd luck... will pray for u

Answer 8

Stay out of it! Maybe Mom and Dad are swingers you know Dad does his co-worker while mom participates, Mom does all of Dads friends. Disturbing thought but maybe true so NO good will come of you sticking your nose in it as you may discover something you don't want to know

Answer 9

I don't think it is wrong to speak with your father about who the female is. Should he mention her again, casually ask him a question or two? If your father goes into any detail, he might/can easily clear up any misunderstanding. However, this path is highly charged. If you get resistance and you continue prodding, you might be make matters worse.
Ultimatelty, is this really your problem/issue to deal with? No.

Answer 10

well- it could be that something is going on with him and his co worker if it bugs you that much tell him how you feel and hopefully after you tell him something about it he will feel enough shame to know that even you his daughter suspects that something is going on. I'm sure your mom suspect something too but she probably doesn't tell you to not hurt your feelings. I'd talk to him and ask wha's going on in a way it's not your business but he should be ashamed of what he's doing. This behavior is that of a person who is about to cheat. Tell you mom how you feel if you feel more comfortable telling your mom.

Answer 11

The thing to do is let your parents handle their life. My wife works in an office of 8 as part of 1500 employees
I work in a small office. We both talk about our coworkers, and yes most of mine are women, so guess who I talk too and about with my wife?
She works around a lot of men so guess who she talks about. AS far as your parents,That's probably why everything seems to be OK with them is becuase it is OK with them.

If he talks about Jane often and works with Jane, with the same breaks as Jane, who else would he talk about?

Hope this helps.