Is ogling a bad habit or normal male behavior?

Question

Whenever Wondering Wife is out with her Ogling Spouse, she often catches him checking out other women. Ogling Spouse thinks he is being discreet, but his wife catches him ogling women all the time. Wondering Wife has tried to overlook this juvenile behavior but Ogling Spouse’s co-workers have begun complaining about his ogling. Some women at his job said, “He has a staring problem.” Another co-worker said, “He is creepy.”

For the record: Wondering wife is not me. Please read carefully. The pronoun she is used, not I.

adelaide: I read it the papers too and thought it would make for some interesting coments...However this guy wasn't fired but he was almost ask not to return to his internship at the firm.

Answer 1

He's not exhibiting normal looking behavior if his coworkers are complaining.

Answer 2

Looking at women is normal male behavior. It seems that what has happened is that ogling spouse is going overboard.

If a guy looks with a normal expression and does what he can to not make it obvious then that is normal. If he stares and even seems to react with out any concern for others that is overboard.

I would think that his Wondering Wife should bring up her concerns to Ogling spouse and discuss them. I know with my wife I try to limit my ogling, but she is aware I do it and will tell me when I am a little overboard.

Answer 3

I've always believed that Ogling is directly tied to one's level of emotional maturity or lack thereof. It's disrespectful to the Wife and to the women being Ogled. Ogling is on the top 7 list of reasons to run from a partner....

Answer 4

For him, I would say it is a definite problem. He is so unaware of his surroundings when he does it, it seems likes his attentions is so much in his fantasy at seeing an attractive woman, that he doesn't even realize the effect it has on his wife and the women he's looking at. The fact that women have actually been complaining about it means there is a serious problem. If I was his wife, i would have to talk to him about it. it's natural to notice other attractive people, but it's not normal to stare at them to the point that the other people complain about it. That could be considered offensive.

Answer 5

Where the eyes go the mind follows
Where the mind goes the imagination follows
Where the imagination goes the temptation follows
Where the temptation goes the hands follow
Where the hands, mind, eyes, and imagination are.. the heart follows.

Its both a bad habit and male behavior.
Normal means a lot of people do it, that doesnt make it good.
In indonesia 200 years ago it was normal to eat other human beings as food. They all did it, but that didn't make it good.
It is not good husband behavior, but is is (unfortunately) a normal behavior.

Either your hub is imagining those coworkers naked, and has had thousands of affairs in him mind, or he had a rough childhood and his workplace is not a safe environment. Either way something needs to change. Left uninterupted by you, something will eventually give... either he will stop, or he will have an affair with his body to follow the affairs of his mind.

Answer 6

I personally think this is a normal male and female behaviour. My husband is a loyal and dedicated man but I do find him acknowledging a beautiful woman every now and again, and, I have to admit, that the women he spys are pretty. But, the flip side of this is that he also sees the handsome men. I, too, can notice an attractive man from a hundred miles away but that doesn't make me want to leave my husband. He is merely handsome. I also notice the women.

However, your husband sounds as if he has gone to the extreme and needs to be spoken to about this "problem" before he ends up being slapped with something serious.

He needs to get himself in line and start acting like a normal man.

Sandy :O)

Answer 7

He is childish and rude and should be told. That should blow his 'discreet' defense. Its normal to look, not to ogle. A look is a brief, one or two second glance, not a stare.
However, Wondering Wife needn't worry about Ogling Spouse turning into Wandering Spouse, no one would have him.

Answer 8

Yep, he has a problem if it make others feel uncomfortable. Wondering Wife needs to give Ogling Spouse a Knee in the Ganglies to wake him up!

Answer 9

Every man is going to notice an attractive woman. It's even ok to admire one for a brief moment, but ogling, staring, and having sexual thoughts about other women is definitely a bad habit.

Answer 10

i read a story just like this in the news paper. i believe it went on to say that he was turned down for a job or fired due to his behavior. perhaps it is the same story. it seems like stalking behavior to me. to stare at someone in a way that makes them uncomfortable to the point of being called creepy is creepy and seems predatory. but perhaps he does not realize this or maybe he does not care. i think wife should be concerned. she should talk to hubby first and if it doesn't change then she needs to involve professional help. he is invading women's comfort zone and if he is unwilling to understand what he is doing to these women and his own wife then i think he is a bad apple.

Answer 11

It is both a bad habit, and males are naturally predisposed to it. This behavior can be modified if the Ogling Spouse is forced to understand the necessity for change. Being informed of the other women's comments might be just the medicine he needs, but please tell him this compassionately because it will hurt his feelings.