My kids goldfish died today. Should I tell him or should I flush it, go and buy another one and lie about it?

Answer 1

I say flush it and forget it since he will probably just kill the next one too. Get him a kitten maybe it will have a better chance of survival.

Answer 2

Tell him, it will be a good learning experience. You might have to spruce it up a bit by talking about fishy heaven (I'm unsure of how old this kid is...I'm assuming very young)
Might even want to bury it in the back yard rather than flush the fish if he was really attached...even hold a little funeral service. (I am NOT joking...though the thought of it is somewhat funny)

Then you can go to the store and he can pick out a new one. Maybe throw in some sort of ornament for the new fish and he will be happy as a sunny day!

If you lie you might feel guilty...whereas if you do the above you have no reason to feel guilt, because it wasnt your fault the fish died (im assuming it wasnt!). Even if it was your fault...you should tell the truth because it will be a more positive experience.

Good Luck :)

Answer 3

I'm not even going to get into your issues with your ex, but I will help with your fish. Problem is: you did no research whatsoever and have no clue how to care for these fish! Number one: Goldfish need lots of space. You would have been so much better off choosing any other species of fish. A 10 gallon tank (with a divider) would make a fabulous home for two Bettas. Thank heaven you got Fancy Goldfish, at least. Common/Comet Goldfish get really huge. You really need a 50 gallon tank for these fish, with filtration for twice that. You can maybe squeak by with a 40 gallon, but I would say go ahead and get a 50. Second problem: You ran out, bought a tank and fish, threw it all together, and threw the fish in there. Right? The tank needs to cycle. That is what it is doing now, and will most likely kill your fish if you do not do large, very frequent partial water changes. There is no stopping it, that is what tanks do when they are new. Do you even have a test kit or gravel vacuum? Necessary equipment for any aquarium. At this point, if nothing else, dip out about half the water and replace with clean, fresh, room temperature water that you have added conditioner to. You do at least have conditioner, don't you? That may help them. Goldfish require that you change about 30% of their water every week, while thoroughly vacuuming the gravel. They are very messy and produce tons of waste and ammonia. As you have found, never, ever listen to clerks at a place like Petsmart. The vast majority of them know nothing, and will tell you anything to make a sale. What you really need is time, which you don't have at the moment. You need to read some beginner's aquarium keeping books. If you plan to try again with Goldfish, read up on Goldfish care also. Whether you want to know a lot on the subject or not is irrelevant. You have to if you are going to keep fish for your kids. Any book store and/or public library should have a decent selection. I imagine you also walked right by a rack of them at Petsmart. Daily partial (50%) water changes may keep the fish alive. If it's too late, tell your kids that you had to take them back to the store for a while until the tank is ready. Stick to that story with the ex, too. If you choose to not get Goldfish next time around (and I wouldn't), tell the kids they were out of Goldfish and you got this kind instead. One species of easy-care fish is the Mickey Mouse Platy. The "Micky Mouse" head on their tail is very kid-pleasing, and they come in orange, so resemble little Goldfish. These active schooling fish do best in a 20 gallon tank, in schools of at least 6. They are live-bearing so get all males to avoid dealing with fry. Learn to tell the sex yourself (it's easy), or go to a reputable, local, fish store, not Petsmart or Petco. Get the correct size of tank for what you intend to keep, learn what you are doing, cycle the tank, then get the fish. For a small investment of time, effort, and money, you can have a beautiful fish tank that will make your kids happy, and also be an attractive focal point in your home. Goldfish are more work than most other fish, but they do look beautiful if you are willing to put in the work to keep them properly. They can also live for years and years. Whatever you decide to do, good luck!

Answer 4

One of the great benefits of owning a goldfish is that children get to learn first-hand about death.

A deeper question is why would you pull a "bait switch" (sorry couldn't resist) and lie? To protect your child's feelings or to save yourself some aggrevation?

Let you child know what happened and guage the reaction. This is how you will learn how your child is progressing as a person. He may take it with stride, need you for grief conselling or think it's cool.

Either way, you, as a parent should find this out about your son.

Best of luck,
Billy!

Answer 5

I have 3 children and as a parent that has dealt with this before I would advise you to tell them the truth. My kids are 9, 6 and 2 and they know that all living creatures have to die sooner or later. You could let your child decide what to do with the dead fish. My son likes to have burials for ours. Good Luck what ever you decide.

Answer 6

i think you should prepare for a goldfish funeral -- find a little goldfish coffin -- ready a hole in the back yard. and after a very short mourning period take the kids to buy another one.

Answer 7

he has to learn the truth about life and death eventually. you should explain about how things die, and then, if he's interested, go out and get a new one together.

if you lie and he ever finds out, he will resent you for not telling him the truth.

My answer is different if the child is under 5. Then, get a new one.

Answer 8

The kid will probably know anyway,but it's a good time to teach them that parents and other adults always lie to kids.

Answer 9

Definitely tell him. Part of owning a pet is losing it--it's a life lesson when you are dealing with an animal he's closer to than a fish.

Answer 10

Death is a natural part of life. That is a good way to begin teching your child this lesson. You dont want to get caught in a lie.