On my way to work this morning I heard a song that said " We promise to love for forever, but then we say maybe forever is too long! Why are we breaking our promises?" That made me think about my own relationship, how sometimes, one thinks, life would be so much easier if we were alone. But after a long thought, I think I'd rather go back to the mentality I use to have that walking away, when things get tough, is not an option.That to make love work, one has to work on it. I'd like for you guys to share with me your opinions or experiences about this. I think that in this day an age, we really should be second guessing why we give up so easily.
Thanks in advance.
2007-06-07 03:34:36 · 11 answers · asked by Chrystal 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There was a time when giving up was not an option.
This went for all of the things that we did in life.
You tried and then you tried again. If you failed then you learned from your mistakes so that if you were ever in that same type of situation you would have more information to make a better choice.
We live in a day and age where every child makes the team not just the ones that have worked and are good at it, everyone feels that they are "entitled" to something and that it should be handed to them not that they should actually, God forbid, work for it and earn it!!
We are creating and living in a world of people that walk around with their hand out waiting for life to be handed to them on a platter instead of those of us that were taught to go out there in the world and EARN what we want.
We give up because we choose to and it is the "easy" way out of a situation.
Amazingly enough if more people were to take divorce off of the table as an "option" then there would be fewer of them and more people that figure out how to work through their problems instead of running away from them.
2007-06-07 04:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right. People do give up if the going gets rough. There are too many easy outs. My husband has tried walking out before, and maybe i antagonize him by saying "yeah, your just taking the easy road because you are a coward and need to man up". But that is how I feel, I didn't get into this marriage to be able to walk away so easy. I am here for the long haul. I love him, life is hard, but that is all a part of living.
2007-06-07 03:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think people do give up to easily. They think that once they are married or in a serious relationship, that everything is supposed to be perfect all the time. Some people also think that their partner is supposed to be the one to give them happiness. Happiness has to come from within. Lust and fear of being alone also gets mistaken for love, so some couples that have NO business together, end up together and when the passion fades they are at a loss. Relationships, even in the best of times take a LOT of work.
2007-06-07 03:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah people do give up to early but I think its due to misconception between love and infatuation. Its a common misconception the idea of infatuation and the idea of love. Infatuation is the early state in a relationship that gives you butterflies in your stomach or a warm feeling when the other person is around because your sooo in love with them. You find this alot in teenage "love". During this stage people give each other the benefit of the doubt all the time in many various situations allowing there to be little conflict and alot of holding, kissing, "i love you's". You also ignore the persons imperfections and have excuses for them. But in a period from 6 months to 2 year on average infatuation wears off and instead of a glowy feeling your left with the other person. This if you look at most relationships is where they end mentally, I say mentally because these relationships could stretch to 3 or 4 years maybe more depending on the situation but the contemplating cheating, or being with other people starts around when infatuation wears off. This is the point where people usually give up on "love". There in lies my point that you can be 100% convinced you love someone and feel like this person is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and then within a year you can say you still love them because you truly care about them but you dont really feel it and start to contemplate if they really are the right one for you and alot of times this immature outlook on love leads to love ending early. I believe though the people who truly understand what love is and who truly love the person they are with don't give up very easily and they both fight for what they have. Thats why I feel true love is alot more rare than the millions of people who get married and the percentage of those relationships ending is alot lower than 50%.
2007-06-07 04:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mike J 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not the problem ... the problem is that we don't know what love is (we so often misunderstand lust or friendship or obsession for love) and then we hold onto that too long.
Sure there are cases when we give up on love to easily, but the real issue is perhaps that what we perceive as love isn't, and what we are giving up on is a misinterpretation anyway.
2007-06-07 03:36:40 · answer #5 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chrystal, I agree with you. I believe that everyone moves through different stages of love and that the passion needs to be reignited from time to time when our daily life interferes.
Unfortunately, my soon to be ex-wife now believes in "spiritual affinity" and that love is not about a long courtship or friendship. I totally disagree with this, but I guess that is why she is seeking a divorce after 10 years of marriage.
2007-06-07 03:56:24 · answer #6 · answered by Scott O 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with you. In this instant gratification world we live in a person had better deliver emotionally, physically, financially, and immediately! Let someone down once (in their perspective) and they give you the ol' heave-hoe. This section in Answers is rife with "I don't love my wife anymore..." and "I have fallen out of love with my husband..." People get married and/or start relationships in the flurry of physical attraction and then flush it down the crapper when the munchies have been consumed. People do not understand love, loyalty, or commitment ... or for that matter, forgiveness.
2007-06-07 04:10:36 · answer #7 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. We have too many temptations and too many options. We get bored easily and give up on love/marriage etc. 99% of questions on here are for couples who want to get a divorce for one reason or another. Why is it so hard for people to work things out. Why do men/women want to cheat on their spouses or boyfriends when they made a vow to love them and cherish them etc....why have relationships become so weak?
2007-06-07 04:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Luv Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse with the exception of abusive relationships, yes, it is work to maintain a loving and peaceful union with your significant other. It doesn't have to be HARD work, but sometimes it can be so it's a matter of focus and realizing we are all frail humans in need of understanding and tenderness.
Good luck to you dear
2007-06-07 03:42:43 · answer #9 · answered by Angie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh most definitely ...I totally agree with you..that is why the divorce rate is so high, people do give up to easily...it does seem as though no one fights for love..relationships of any kind are hard work....I have always said it is alot harder to stay together and work through your problems...but is is also alot more rewarding....
2007-06-07 03:54:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋