Do Indian guys expect their wives to be mind readers?

Question

I only ask this because it goes along the lines of my previous question. I recently married a guy from India, I'm from the US, born and bred. I've got many well meaning people telling me how to treat him; and lay the seeds for a good marriage 20yrs down the line. Then I ask him if that's what he needs, and he tells me that I'm doing fine, and that if he needs something from me, he'll let me know. Then when I tell others, they come back with...welll, that's what he'll say, but he doesn't mean it. I'd like to think my man is being as honest w/me as possible. I've told him I only respond to directness, and he's reciprocating; but others want me to be more romantic and thoughtful(I will, just not yet...I think). Then they come at me and tell me that they're telling me what Indian guys expect and that they won't tell u these things because they expect their wives to know their needs. We're ok w/sit. but I don't know how to shut others up. They can see I'm in love, y do I need to show it?

I only ask this because I'm not the thoughtful, outwardly affectionate type. But yet, u can read me like a book from miles away. My husband tells me to ignore everyone else and just concentrate on what he tells me he needs from me; but it's hard, because I know it's well meaning advice. I know I must seem cold, but if my spouse is understanding of it, and only requires minimum heat right now, why is everyone else trying to fire me up? He gets me, y doesn't anyone else? I only wonder 'cause they've known me longer. Is it a bad thing that I'm not acting like a normal newly wed bride, even if the groom's ok with it? Please help! Thanks.

Answer 1

I have gone through both your questions & what I find that you are missing his company, so get his immigration papers moved faster so he can join you. I can understand your curiosity as I have myself observed this going on at my house when my daughter was not yet married to her boy & they both were busy on phone or online chatting for hours together, but after the marriage they hardly find time for us the parents of both side. I don't mind that at all till both of them are happy in each others company, I can feel lots of love & affection evolving between them & so I see in your case, once you both unite you both will find hardly any time for others at least for few days or months till your much awaited long & real honeymoon is over, that may be for months or years, but definitely we the people in yahoo answers will miss you & your questions. Don't worry when time passes you'll not only be reading his mind but even the same thing & thoughts you both will be sharing its a time factor when a wife & husband do really become one in thoughts & even start resembling to each other that’s Gods/natures gift to all humans.

Answer 2

As long as your partner is happy, you do not take him for granted, you allow him his personal space like what he does to you, and as long as both of you have a'Live and Let live ' policy you do not bother about others. . You be open and direct with him and if he asks you to ignore others assuring you that he is happy with your style then things are fine. But one thing---never take anyone for granted and ride roughshod over them. We would hate it if our husbands do that to us--is it not? Think objectively if you were/are as sensitive to him as he is to you. Demonstrative affection is not what I am talking about. Have you ever taken him for granted because' he is very sweet; he won't object'. If he is too gentle a person there is nothing wrong if you be a little extra sensitive.If your husband is a very patient man, he will have no expectations from you and will accept whatever comes his way..
Obviously the others around you can appreciate his gentleness more than what you can and that is why they are dishing out advice.
Your husband has no expectations and that is why he says. that you are ok. It does not mean that you are very sensitive to him. There is no point confronting him, just think as what I suggested earlier.Be objective--and not emotional. Whether you are an American or Indian it really does not matter. It is only whether you have mutual RESPECT for each other and whether you have invested equally in your relationship.Equality is the name of the game and when women expect gallantry ,in all fairness they must be equally gallant.
I am sure you will have a great time together. Good luck!

Answer 3

When it comes to Indian husbands ,majority of them think that they are masters of their wives. they can get tired but wife should never say that she is tired. They sit down on the dinner table and expect to be served. They don't even help in the kitchen. However Indians born in US are totally different, They are totally the opposite. Most Indian parents who have daughters of marrying age, try to suit them up with the boys from India, that's the big mistake they make, not understanding that he is grown in a different culture then their daughters. Some of these marriages fail. Hoping that your marriage works. You will have to work on it. Try marriage counselling now then later. If he refuses it , then you know for sure that he does not want to understand and change. The more love you show , the more he will take advantage of you. I am an Indian myself.

Answer 4

Okay from everything you've just said, I can only come to one conclusion - You're doubts are aised only because of what people have told you and not your husband! I'm an indian and let me tell you this. There are those who expect all the mentioned things from their wives but that trend is fading. If your husband has already chosen to marry you even though you're not indian it indicates he's a progressive indian and not the one wrapped up in a century old tradition. If he says you're doing fine, he means it. I'm sure he doesn't marry an american and expect you to transform into the ideal traditional indian wife. He likes you the way you are.

Answer 5

Indian guys. Each one is an individual, they come with their own temperament, likes and dislike, if you want your marriage to secede you can only find out over a period of time, there should be equal give and take, on both part other wise there is nothing but misery. If you are not married yet, find out first, but only when you are married and you are really in close contact, the real person emergies.

Answer 6

Your question makes you appear as someone extraterrestrial. If you are an earthly creature (no matter whether you are from the US or Iraq) your question hardly makes sense. What are the behavioural differences between a guy from the US and from India? Being Indian, is your husband behaving abnormally? You are married to your husband and not others. So why do you fall back on others unnecessarily to solicit their opinion? If you are so unsure in the first place, you shouldn't have married Mr India. And who are these wise men sitting in judgement? Taking your hesitation to others all too often is enjoyed by them - you are a free source of saucy gossip. Try to understand your husband yourself. Put an end to your circus.

Answer 7

Listen to your husband. He's rite. Ignore everyone else..infact shut them up if you can. If you and your husband have a good relationship that's all that matters. Other people often come and interfere in your marriage because they can't see you being happy.

Answer 8

All men (not just Indain and not just husbands) expect everyone around them to be mind readers. Ok maybe not all of them but a good majority.

Answer 9

Dont worry. Listen to your hubby. what he says is correct. If you go back and forth to your hubby and friends u will go nuts. Instead of asking just be yourself with your hubby. if he says you are ok then you ae ok.Relax.

Answer 10

ok i don't read all of your question, just be yourself, your husband is right, don't listen to anyone else, and with time you will be able to read him like a book to, i wish you all the luck