Use'em all in any order.
1. liposuction
2. beef and bean chimichanga
3. Ted Nugent
4. Rosie O'Donnell
5. AK-47
6. thong bikini
7. Condoleeza Rice
8. jazzercise class
9. Humvee
No rush either, I'll return to read all of the stories in 2-4 days! :)
2007-06-07 02:35:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Ted Nugent and Condoleeza Rice were driving along in their Humvee one fine glorious day eating beef and bean chimichangas. They had just eloped and were enjoying the summer sun and the breeze. All of a sudden, their happy bubble was burst when they saw Rosie O'Donnell running down the street in a thong bikini. She was trying to catch up with them because she caught the whiff of chimichangas in the air. Condoleeza had a heart attack from the sheer horror of seeing such an awful sight and died right there next to her new husband. Ted was enraged! He got out the AK-47 that he knew Condoleeza always kept in her underwear and shot Rosie with it. It punctured the skin on her left thigh and she started to cry. So then Ted felt a little bad and tried to console her with his man boobs. However, consoling came to a halt when Rosie almost suffocated him with HER man boobs. So she decided to get liposuction and take some Jazzercise classes so it wouldnt happen again. And they lived happily ever after (except for Condoleeza).
2007-06-07 02:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was chowing down on some take-away beef and bean chimichanga with a side of condoleeza rice in my car when Rosie O'Donnell walks past and, trying to be funny, quips 'Yo, Ted Nugent wants his shirt back'. Incensed by the comment, and suspecting extra-lesbian PMS, I asked if her thong bikini was holding the rag on tight enough. She went ballistic and I wound up the Humvee's window to block out her horrific voice. Without the sound, all I could see was her flailing hands, reminiscent of some jazzercise class for retards. Right then, I realized that even liposuction would not be her friend. I put in my ear plugs, cracked the window, and slid through the card of a great gun dealer I know so that she could help herself. For some reason, right at that moment, I felt the need to quote the first two initials of my name and the age I would be in 19 years from now; 'AK-47' I yelled as i drove off into the sunset, safe in the knowledge that Ted Nugent never looked so good in a shirt like this.
2007-06-07 03:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by sticky 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Rosie O'Donnell met Condoleeze Rice over at the neighborhood Taco Villa. Rosie was telling Ms. Rice she was enjoying herself before she went in for her weely liposuction and was having a double order of the beef and bean chimichanga. She also shared with her the miracle she had discovered after eating her favorite meal that she could fill the tank of her Humvee with the affects of her chimichanga and would not have to fill up for quite some time.
Well, Ms. Rice was quite distraught with her friends lifestyle that she insisted she go to jazercise class with her. She was very humiliated though when Rosie showed up for class wearing a thong bikini and tried to act like she did not know her as she exercised to the snappy tunes of Ted Nugent. The class had to be cancelled prematurely however when Rosie bent over to touch her toes and made her own music (sounded like an AK-47 shooting out of her butt). The entire block was evacuated and people are complaining about not being able to go back to their homes for a week until the smog clears. Epilogue: LA prisons have new punishment. Due to Rosie's misconduct at jazzercise she is now sharing a cell with Paris Hilton. Paris' lawyer is stating that this is cruel and unusual punishment.
2007-06-07 03:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by icunurse85 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
London calling to the bullimic swimmers
War is declared - and Condoleeza Rice's slimmer
London calling put on your thong bikinis
Kick *** jazzcise classes for the teeny weenie
London calling, now don't look through us
Beef & bean chimichandra has bitten the dust
London calling, we ain't got liposuction
We're skin and bones a scaffold construction
Anorexia is coming, the girl is vomiting
Meltdown expected, the Humvee grows thin
Cameras are rolling, lighting hiding my flaws
London is thinning, living fridge door to toilet floor
London calling to those diet coke sipping
Rosie Mc Donald is out skinny dipping
London calling - Ted Nugent is stout
Quit holding it in - and let it all out
London calling - models as skinny as AK-47s
From photoshoot to clinic and onto 7th heaven
London calling, see we ain't been so high
Except for that ones who dream of pie in the sky
2007-06-07 20:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After a tedious, yet brief bout with a beef & bean chimichanga, Rosie Odonnell tried to force-feed herself into a thong bikini. Deciding that liposuction (again) wouldn't be the answer, she decided to join a jazzercise class. Into her humvee she jumped. She looked into her rear-view mirror, and directly behind her massive head sat Ted Nugent, with an AK-47. He said "I'm on a mission, authorized by Condoleeza Rice. You stole her thong bikini."
It took 45 bullets to bring her down.
2007-06-07 02:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
RING------
RING-----------
Hey,girl,you busy?I just need somebody to talk to.......I'm so disgusted with myself.Last night,'round 3:30 I ate 4 beef and bean chimichangas and I was STILL hungry like I hadnt eat anything.
Then,my man......oh,you know I'm messin' wit' Ted,right?......no!....not that one...Ted Nugent...from the Wendy's on City Line Avenue!
Yeah.....well anyway,he had the nerve to tell me to either go to like a jazzercise class or just get my dad to pay for liposuction!!! I started to knock him across the face,girl....and then to say my DAD should pay for it.. I was like,if you stop givin' girls free food at Wendy's YOU would be able to pay for it!!!!!! But,girl,I'm tellin' you...If I see one more skinny heffa' on the bus in a thong bikini Imma find a AK-47 and aim it right at her stinky behind crack! Girl,my man looks at anybody..from Rosie O'Donnell to..whats her name...Condoleeza Rice!!!!!
THEN...get this girl...he was sleep last night and started moanin' and groanin' so I logged off yahoo answers and layed next to him(because he talks in his sleep)then he started yappin' away.....and I woke him up!!! I was like.....what the devil is a Humvee?!?!?!
Is that your phone,girl?
Call me back............
2007-06-07 03:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Britney Spears ate creamed corn with The Shriner's & it was finger lickin' good. Next, she took a guy from Vietnam, got some liquid latex & went for a ride in the Popemobile.
2016-05-18 23:25:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋