ive been with my boyfriend for about a year now and i feel uncomfortable getting intimate with him so i try to avoid it or stop before it gets to far. is that bad? (not a virgin)
2007-06-07 00:49:45 · 19 answers · asked by yellowsmile1234 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
i had sex with him before. i just feel uncomfortable doing it....lol
2007-06-07 01:18:45 · update #1
Just because you have a BF does not mean he is entitled to sex with you and you are not obligated to do it.
2007-06-07 02:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by uisignorant 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not compulsory to get intimate with your boyfriend, whether you are a virgin or not. Saying yes once does not mean you have to say yes every time someone asks (unless you wish to, of course) :-)
However, after a year, if the desire to become closer is not present in your relationship, you may have a friendship more than a romantic relationship.
That could be something you need to think about before going any further, because even though it's nice to have a bf, a friend is nothing to be sneezed at, either!!
Best wishes and good luck :-)
2007-06-07 08:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then you shouldn't still be with him. If you feel that uncomfortable only a year into the relationship, you think it's going to get better. He'll keep begging and you'll eventually give in to keep HIM happy while you remain scared and miserable.
Sex is not a job, payoff or a reward for endless begging. It's suppose to be fun and care-free for both participants. If your not happy now, either figure out (with him) where the problem lies, or find someone you are more comfortable with. You don't like it and you should make him suffer. I'm guessing he is not even aware of how you feel. Men are not mind reader. If we're not aware of a problem, you need to say something.
2007-06-07 10:00:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad for him yes. Sex is a part of mature relationships and if you are not comfortable in having sex with him it will become a problem down the line. Sex is sharing yourself with another person that you trust. Always avoiding sex leads to mistrust, jealousy, lack in confidence, cheating and other interpersonal problems in the relationship.
Find out what it is that makes you uncomfortable about making love to him and talk it out before it becomes a serious issue.
2007-06-07 07:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year!!!!! He is obviously in love with you b/c he is still sticking around, but you don't feel the same for him. I say that b/c you said that you are uncomfortable being initimate with him. So, there is little emotions, touching and kissing.
You need to be honest with yourself and stop stringing this guy along. You are eventually going hurt this guy's feelings or break his heart.
This type of treatment is what turn MEN into DOGS!!!!!! Some new hunk guy is going to come into your life and hit it in less than a week. He's going to feel very very stupid.
Been there done that and will never go there again.
2007-06-07 08:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by L J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on why you feel uncomfortable. But 99% of the time, your reason is your reason and theres no reason to feel ashamed or bad about your uncomfortableness of getting intimate. live life your way. if everything in your relationship is fine and you both care for eachother then you both should have no worries and this shouldnt be a problem.
2007-06-07 07:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by ballchairclock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not 'bad' as such as it's whats natural for you in your situation. BUT, assuming you don't want this to be the case and as it's likely to erode your relationship eventually I'd suggest you do something about it. My advice; if you're in the right relationship you can raise the issue and discuss your concerns and agree a way forward that works for you two, if you can't even discuss the issue then, babes, your issue is not the sex - it's the fact youre not in the right relationship which is my guess why you don't want him nr you?
2007-06-07 07:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by Pete N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation as you once. my partner and i had been together for about a year before we had sex (we're going on 3 years now). but i wasn't really ready for the first time, and i had trust and intimacy issues with him for awhile.
it's best you talk it out with him, find out what intimacy means for him, let him know how you feel, and of course, to reason with yourself why you are with him. over time you may begin to feel more comfortable being intimate with him!
2007-06-07 08:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by sheryl_dahlia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I am a guy. No it is not bad. After all it is your body and yours to control; however, I sense that there is something wrong like a possible trust issue. Does he know how you feel about this. If he doesn't try talking with him, if he doesn't back off, or tries to pressure you dump him. Take things at your speed.
2007-06-07 07:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by thepitboss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, women have trouble having sex with someone they're not in love with. If you're not saving yourself and not a virgin then why are you not having sex with him? A year is a long time to be with someone and not have sex with them.
2007-06-07 07:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to feel like that but i was a virgin when i met my partner i took me a while to get used to the new arrangement like sex nearly every night i kept trying to avoid it and say oh i have my period or am tired things like that but i soon properly feel for him and got comfotible with him as he was with me give it time u will get there.
2007-06-07 09:31:52 · answer #11 · answered by baby dust for me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋