is it acceptable to censor one's boyfriend's clothing?

Question

Friends sometimes say they've 'accidentally' thrown away the more fashionably-questionable of their partners' clothes, so that he does not embarrass them by wearing dodgy things like Hawaiian shirts in public. How do people, especially the men, feel about this? Are they grateful for their women's guidance or do they resent being told what to wear? Is it OK to say 'honey, please don't wear a pinstripe jacket with trainers' or whatever or should one love one's partner regardless of his fashion sense?

Answer 1

It is absolutely alright. We all need a little help once and a while. Who better to help than you? Don't be overly critical though. Sometimes a nice suggestion is all they need. Don't make them feel as if they are incompetent, just give them a nudge in the right direction. If it comes down to it, try buying them little pieces of clothing, or when you go out shopping, try saying "this would look really great with ___________, you should try it on." If they see how great they look, they're more apt to take your advice. But make sure to take baby steps...they're not going to change overnight!

Answer 2

I agree with Mithril. It was very well written.

Would you want your husband/boyfriend thow out your clothes or flat out tell you you "can't" wear something?

If my decision to marry my husband was dependant on what he did or didn't wear, I would not be happily married and blissfully pregnant now.

I come from a family where "casual" was either jeans or kahakis with a golf shirt or button down an maybe a blazer. Or nice-looking and nice-quality sweatshirts and Tshirts. This was for on the weekend or evenings, even for things like running to the grocery store. Well, the kahakis my parents would wear to work on more casual days/things.

My husband comes from a family where the aforementioned items are considered dressy. Throw on a tie, and it's semi-formal. Okay, even as late as this winter I would cringe when my husband would put on sweats and a sweatshirt to go to the grocery store. Yet, on the other hand, he does have a job where khakis and nice golf shirts or button downs with ties and even suits on Sunday (under his robe for the two traditional services) are a "requirement". Even last week on vacation he surprised me by wearing some of his golf shirts instead of his Ts. He is the first person in his famly for whom wearing more than grubby jeans and Ts is required for his job. (He's also the first to graduate from college, "beating" his older brother by a quarter; He'll be the first to have a Master's degree.) l'll visit his family and wear jeans, dressy casual shoes, like loafers, a blouse or golf shirt and a blazer and be dressed up in comparison. That's just me. Sweats and sweatshirts are housewear. Yet, he does know how to dress for the occasion, as I said. Even though yesterday was technically his day off, he still wore kahakis, a button down and a tie to a morning meeting. For an afternoon meeting, he wore golf shorts and a golf Tshirt.

I have a couple of new shirts that show too much cleavage. (There seem to be too many maternity shirts that are too low cut.) My husband has no problems with them, really, but on the other hand, they're too much for church or anything else where I need to be dressed appropriately.

I've relaxed a little, too, but I don't think I'll ever wear sweats to the grocery store. It's not my thing. Yet, this morning for a Bible study, I'll wear jeans and probably an untucked golf shirt or maybe a long sleeved T over a longer tank top. Untucked because it accomodates my baby belly. With it, though, loafers because they're more comfortable right now than sneakers, as I'm still nursing a sore foot from too much walking in poor shoes last week.

Do you love your "partner" or his clothes? While I'm not one to follwo the latest trends, I do believe that clothes can be, and are a reflection of one's personaltiy. If you want the GQ clothing guy, you may be dating the wrong one.

Answer 3

Yes and no.

On a regular day to day basis, it's a big fat NO. I'm so not a fan of throwing out someone else's possesions. It's not for me to decide what my guy wears. Let him be happy. He's comfortable and easy to spot in a crowd in those Burmuda shorts or Hawiian shirts or whatever. (Particularly if he's headed out to the strip club with the guys. He can wear any ratty ole thing he likes!)

On the other hand, um , yeah. You have the right to tell him that his shirts with drug, alcohol, or sexual slurs are not appropriate for your (or his!) grandparents' anniversary picnic or where kiddies are. If she sees him putting on torn jeans to play golf with the boss, she should point out to him that he would fare better with less casual attire.

Also, if he sadly lacking in clothes that aren't stained or torn or have all the buttons where they should be, it isn't unheard of if she makes new clothes a gift to him. She would be adding to his wardrobe, not throwing out that overworn concert tee shirt that he would love to be buried in. But ladies should be aware that this is most likely to be interpreted as a "Mom" move and might not be well received. Add a case of beer to your purchases, and it might go over better.

Generally, unless he really makes it clear he wants to make himself over, don't try to change him. It's just bad news.

It works both ways. If he thinks she dresses a bit too revealing or would like her to be more risque, he might seek some compromise in this department.

So, under certain circumstance, it's great to suggest apprpriate attire. But for the most part, just accept him the way he is.

Answer 4

Men, just don't have a lot of ideas when it comes to fashion so sometimes it is a godsend when a girlfriend does this to a guy, and my husband has never even missed anything that I have 'accidentally' given to the op-shop.

Answer 5

Heck yeah that's acceptable. I do not want no boyfriend of mine looking like crap. That's why we have to sensor their clothes and buy them clothes when there's an occasion.

Answer 6

you could give him hints.
buy him clothes.
look and guys fashion magazines?
go shopping together!