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I have been a good son, I think , over the years. I have always supported and helped my mo even though I have two sisters and one brother (all older than me) who have fallen out with her over the years. Maybe my mom was a at fault too sometimes.

Anyway I got married a few years ago. They never accepted my wife into the family, and I got more distant from them, including my mom until basically we ending up getting racially attacked (my wife was my sister's target) - we went to the police to protect ourselves because they threatened us....we then ended up in court taken there by my sisters.

A long story...anyway, with the court case behind us we thought that would be the end of it. But my mom who lives alone
has continued to put pressure on me and my wife, and not giving me much time and peace for myself. I have worried about her alot but tried to give her help where I could.

Anyway, my sisters, after years of blanking my mom out of their life, are back on the scene, and they now have a common intereste - their hatrred of my and my wife. My mom has said she does'nt wanna fall out with me, but her actions say different.She called them - my sisters for help. And to be fair - they have given hher some help. But I have given her help over all my life, they turn up and now the smallest thing they do seems great. I feel unappreciated. And now, the money I banked from my mom, fo r my mom's bills was designed to make it easy for her to not worry about her bills. I would bank the money, then pay them on line when they would come in. My mom has gotten increasingly agoraphobic so it seemsed the best way to help her. I would not do her or anyone out of a penny. So when my sister called me I was shiocked - they have a lot of balls to call me after what they put us through, and now they pretend to show care for my mom.

I told my mom this morning that I dfid'nt want my sisters back in my life, and now she was the cause of it. I also told her I would send her every penny back this week. But this has really hurt, I feel she has sided with the devil, because my sisters have no good qualities.

Have any of you ever been threatened / challenged by your sisters or family member, what did you do, and what would you advise me to do? I just want a quiet life, but my sisters threatned to make life hell for me and they are delivering on that promise.

I told my my mom to contact me when my sisters let her down - because they will - but otherwise I wanna be left alone. I also told her that there were laws in this country and if my sisters or brother try harrassing me or my wife, then I will take it further. If you think I am too harsh, tell me so, but I just want to protect me and my wife, because the whole family seems dead against us.

Thank you

2007-06-06 23:40:53 · 11 answers · asked by jonoxk 3 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

I wish I could get on without them, but I think they won't let it lie. A family friend (a priest) called me to say my mom was basically feeling very boken down, and he was worried about her. He hoped I would make up with her, but I feel, what is the point? These two daughters have had no care for her in years, and now, it seems what they do is more impressive to my mom. My mom, in turn, does not wanna fall out on me because she knows I am someone who can be relied upon. But I do admit that my marriage has to come first, and I believe everyone has their place. My mom never accepted being no.2, and so this is why she has been so difficult to bear with over the last few years. I just wanna break from her over dramatising everything, and I certainly do not wanna be used. I just think I have a right to live my life without fear or harrassment. She won't change, so why would I make up with her and put myself through more misery?

2007-06-07 11:33:12 · update #1

11 answers

I think you are doing the right thing. When you married your wife, you promised to forsake all others and if your family is going to be that difficult to be around, why not stay away and tell them to stay away from you.

If you have to take legal action and get a restraining order, then do that. Your sisters want to help your mom, let them. You have taken care of her for years so it's time someone else stepped in and did their part.

I went through the same thing with my grandparents. No one in the family came and helped them through the years, leaving everything up to me, which I enjoyed and was fine with if they had just left me alone and not caused problems along the way.

Lots of problems with "he said, she said" but I hung in there until the last 3 years my grandmother lived and I backed off because I was too tired of all the trouble. Grandpa had died a few years before so when grandma started having more health problems, my one brother and my aunt suddenly were there all the time.... after all, it was almost will time and they wanted to make sure they got what they wanted, not that either of them deserved it. My grandmother was in her 90s when she died ~ where were they all those years when she could have used their help?

The only thing you will do by trying to stay involved is end up with more trouble as you deal with the selfish and mean attitudes of others. Enjoy your time with your wife and friends and call your mother once a month to say hi ~ or send her a card once a month if that is easier to do so you don't have to deal with the others. That way she knows you are still keeping in touch and haven't forgotten her ~ write a little personal note of some kind to let her know you are thinking of her and love her and hope all is well.

God bless you for trying so hard. For now, sit back and enjoy the peace by staying away and let them do their thing. Sounds like they deserve each other if they are that bitter and childish ~ you and your wife don't need that. Be happy :)

2007-06-07 00:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 0 0

Perhaps you was too quick to give them a cold sholder. I doubt what you have told us is the full story, but anyway. Talk it out with the family, enter into talks on equal netral ground with the intent to bury the past and start anew. If they arnt mature enough then just get restraining orders put on them, if they cant accept that this is the person you have chosen to be your wife then you need no part in their life.

Blood may be thicker then water, but its harder to swallow! hope this helps

2007-06-06 23:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 1 0

i don't think there is an answer to this issue. For various reason i have no contact with any of my family (other than wife, son and wifes side), you have to do whats best for the people you care about the most. Your sisters sound dangerous, if your mum can't see that then you need to cut her from your life.

2007-06-06 23:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by friskydragon 2 · 0 0

i think you've done all the right things so far. i'd definitely take things further if you get trouble from your sisters. families are weird. you just have to get on with your life and try as best you can to ignore them. if it was just a row i'd tell you to make up but what they've done is unacceptable. give it time, your mum will start to see through them. she's been put in a position. you are all her children and she won't want to take sides.

2007-06-06 23:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

dear,you are in a very sad situation.you deserve peace in life.you are not harsh.you have put up with this evil enough.your mom is fickle minded and you will end up being a nervous wreck like this.do everything to distance yourself from them.go to a far off land and start a life.cut all your ties with your relationships.its sad but you will have to do it at least for some years if not whole life.please cut yourself off from your sisters and mother too.let her realize with time and your distance who is right.

2007-06-06 23:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

your first priority is to you and your wife everything else comes second show them you are not bothered by them they need to realise this is you life stop belong jealous and get on with there own life's as for your mom tell her you love her if you do but she must once and for all of your sake know your no. 1 priority's is good luck and god bless you all,silver fox.

2007-06-06 23:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by aidanj 3 · 0 0

Ignore them. Distant yourself from them. Change your phone number. Tell them that you wanna be left alone. If that doesn't work, report to the police for harassment. I understand your problem.

2007-06-06 23:49:51 · answer #7 · answered by moonlighter 2 · 0 0

Sounds like you need a court to settle this.

If you've done nothing wrong, take it to the Judge.

2007-06-06 23:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You need to exorcise yourself from them and move
away
fopr your sanity and for the sanity of your partner
there is no changing some people

leave the country so they cant reach you
start afresh for your children's sake

2007-06-06 23:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by ~*tigger*~ ** 7 · 0 1

You need to talk to Jerry Springer. There's a whole show waiting for you and your family...

2007-06-06 23:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0 1

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