Can anybody forget this easily?

Question

Iam married for 3 yrs .After one year of my marriage I started going for a job.My husband was not having any savings infact not even a bank A/c.Before marriage when I asked him he told that he is having some savings. But after marriage only I came to know the above fact. Then I adjusted I started going for a job and I started doing a little of savings. Ofcourse he has got bit of property . He was getting less salary then. He withdrew money from my a/c using my ATM card once without my knowledge . I shouted at him for doing it without my knowledge after that again he did the same thing he withdrew nearly Rs.10,000/- from my A/c. In the year 2005 he lost his job and he pledged my jewels and his jewels without my knowledge and at last I cam to know and I made an issue and atlast I only repaid the debt of Rs.30,000/- some how. After that I got him a job and he started going after that again he withdrew money from my A/c and cooly told that he has not done it .

He was given the addon card and he spent money out of it and now has debt around Rs.10,000/- and pledged the jewels which was taken back and he says he did all these to help his friends only and moreover he has got property and he can borrow money for all these ftom his house. When he withdrew money from ATM A/c again he just made me a fool categorically telling that he has not taken and asked me find out from the bank whether some mistake has taken place. Sometime he even takes money from my purse without my knowledge for that sake I always hide my purse how can any be satisfied with this kind of a person . I came to terms with whatever he did but again & again if he does like this what can I do. My mind has got really diverted but I can't leave him just for my family's sake bcoz they will be shattered. What is wrong in my having a relationship with somebody for my own happiness. To cover all his mistakes he pointsout my past relation with a man. when I point out his mistake

Answer 1

Here is a wake-up call for you: Get rid of him. He is not honest with you, he is stealing from you ( it is your money you earned, therefore you have a say as to how it is spent).

Answer 2

Your problem if look at it, it is a problem. Whole hearted you want to salve, you can. First try to convince your husband in various means now a days quite possible. Instead of that you want to stern the relation it is also quite easy. In the early years of a marriage it is quite natural some misunderstandings will arise but it do not mean that you should break relation. You are a literate having job and should not give chance to others to point out you. Hocking other person not at all advisable when you are with your husband. Try to go to counselling points along with your husband. Do not spoil your relationship.

Answer 3

Sorry for your misfortune cuz thats what it becomes when you get hooked up with someone who is always dragging you behind.
Why dont you change your account and not let him know you have an ATM or not give him your PIN number.
If he is pledging your jewels one day he will plegde the property he owns and then both of you will be beggars.
Do something before that happens or investigate if he has a gambling problem and seek him help.

Answer 4

No.
1. Get rid of your cheque books and ATM/Credit Card. Withdraw money yourself.
2. Keep your valuables and precious documents in a locker for safe custody.
3. Talk to him seriously in this regard.
4. Don't accept any excuse on this account.
5. Tell him clearly that in case he is not serious about fulfilling his role as a family bread-winner, you shall have to part your ways meaning you may have to divorce him.

Answer 5

Two wrongs don't make one right. You are not suppose to have relationship with other man while you are married.
your past relationship with the man does not mean that you are not faithful wife to the current husband. Don't feel ashamed of it.
Tell your and his family about what has been happening.
No more ATM or credit cards.
Leave him immediately if he doesn't change
your family will not be shattered ,they will be relieved that you took this step.
email me ,if you have any more questions.

Answer 6

First of all,do u want him?If yes,then is he gambling,loves someone else.Was your marriage arranged or your own choice?Life is very short so don't ask for advice but do the best for yourself.Do-not think of family.Do u have kids,if no then talk to him in the presence of both yours & his parents.If he dosen't listen then let go.You deserve a new life with someone else,but don't make the mistake of doing something that will make your parent suffer.Divorce first then stay alone for sometime then think whether u r ready again.

Answer 7

I didn't really understand your question. It sounds like you have a very self centered husband who feels that what's his is his but what's yours is his too. I would change your PIN so that he doesn't have access to your accounts. I would also consider leaving him. It was wrong of him to just take your jewels without your permission and then sell them. I think you need to have a serious talk as it seems there is little or no communication. Hope it gets better, for you.

Answer 8

Every body have their own story before marriage. one should try to know about the other before marriage.After marriage you should not dig into the past. just ignor and lead a joyful life. we should see what one is doing today. if you are going to point his affairs and he your affairs than you are not married. just living together. If you are true couples must adjust.If he is going to make a fool out of you continuosly,than also it has to daelt with seriousnes. only you know your situation .Act in an apprpriate way. dont be hast?
Comnig to your last point of finding some one.will you acept if he brings a lady to sleep with in your bed?If the answer is than you to can find one.You are in noway better than your husband.

Answer 9

People like this have a compulsive disorder ,Get rid of him . Get him off your account now. I know . I married someone like this . We had everything .... House several cars.,boats, lovely things. . NOw we r loosing everthing,and he is not responsible to take care of the debt hes in . We r looseing all. I've lost now things I've worked for for 30 years.... including the home. The divorce will come through soon . I can't wait to start over now. A person like your man only cares for himself . Is that the type of person you want to spend your life with? Get out now.....

Answer 10

You are married to someone that is stealing from you! How can you be married to someone you can't trust, or someone who is lying and disrespecting you like that? He is only married to you for your money! He doesn't love you.

You can't stay married like that. Nevermind, how upset your family might get. What about you? Your the one that's living with it and your the one that is letting him play you for the biggest fool. Where is your self respect, pride and value?

Either you stop this right now, or it will only get worse. Get this jerk by the throat (not physically) have him arrested and file for divorce! That's what I would do.

Answer 11

listen three years are long to keep putting up for all this.you need to have a serious talk with him.if he doesnt still respect you,you need to bring in your family or friends in the matter.what i think is stayiing single is better than a bad marraige.he is being reckless and a cause of your misery.do not care much for what society will think.your peace and happiness are paramount.talk but be firm now.BE FIRM.