What makes someone unable to assert themself in life?

Answer 1

i think if they care too much what someone else might think they would be unable to assert themselves. they may have a victim mentality or they are frightened at what might happen if they do assert themselves. i believe these types are desperate for approval so they fear if they step out of line the other person will not like them and then they wont get that approval. i think thats how some people get stepped on and taken advantage of. its basically fear.

Answer 2

I sometimes have trouble asserting myself...unless it's a personal subject which would harm people I love. Then I have no problem being assertive. But I don't believe you have to get nasty along with being assertive which a lot of people do.
When I was younger I was afraid to be assertive because I didn't want that kind of attention. I was too shy. Now it's just not important to me to push people or argue about stuff. I save the assertiveness for times when I really need to be..not because I want things only my way. Good question!!!

Answer 3

Sometimes life doesn't offer a person a great selection of options to work with. Health problems, inherent psychological disorders, poverty, mental limitations, etc. If a person wants to really improve one's life, the first stage is to maximize and increase awareness. How can one be more aware and observant? Forcing yourself into new situations and exposure to new points of view. May be traveling, reading, talking, listening to new views. Not taking advice from others literally but taking the information that's out there and sorting it. Honestly though, I'm not sure I've really been able to assert my own life, I think this sounds like the best route. I think its scary how so many people give such bold advice, even when they have no idea what the answer is themselves. I would guess a great deal of advice being tossed around is a circular negative creation of our own society, tied in with bold statements which are positive sounding in theory but empty in practical solutions.

Answer 4

Unfortunately everyone doesn't have a positive upbringing. Sometimes the key people in someone life is not getting involved so therefore the child isn't getting the attention they deserve. Some people grow up in a world where there isn't 2 parents. Their parents have divorced for more reasons then one. Things are rough once there are 2 parents living in separate houses and the child is toted around from house to house. The child is trying to find it's way but can't because of these confused emotions of feeling lonely and inadequate. Sometimes it isn't just a matter of doing it because their self-esteem doesn't allow them to do the things they enjoy. Their key role models in their lives have given up and it's seems like everything has gone for them. Fortunately these people have friends, teachers and other people they can go to for help and reassurance. If you can provide this person with some positive influence and get involved in their life having a friend they can trust sometimes is all they need in life. I hope this person isn't you because it can be a tough way to live. I wish you the best of happiness!! Good Luck to you or to the person your referring too.

Answer 5

Well, honestly, I am just like that. And what keeps me from asserting myself is probably the fact that I care. Not to say that others don't care, it's just that I care too much about self image. Also, some people may realize that they don't assert themselves, like me. But they are just too afraid to go and risk it. They prefer to stay as they are because they may feel that it's possible to loose themselves by being something that they're not. Which really they may have an assertive personality, but they have been so timid their whole lives that the fact of change scares them. Just like it scares me. But, that's just my personal opinion.

Answer 6

It just depends on the person, some people are just naturally shy, or some are intimidated by others. While some may be just nervous around others, so that it may make it hard for them to stand up for them selves. Every one feels that way at one time or another, it just takes work to learn to become assertive.

It just takes practice standing up for your self. Even if it mean saying no to your friend who wants to borrow your best CD, and you don't want to loan it to them. Learn to say, I don't like to loan things to people. You have to learn not to become worried that the person will get angry at you, just because you said no.

I have a friend who was always getting suckered into doing things for her other friends. She was always saying how frustrated she was because she just didn't know how to say no to other people. Finally I told her if it aggravates you so much just tell these people that you just can not do it, what ever it is. They would ask her to drive them here or there and she really didn't want to go.

I told her tell them that your not going any where today, or tell them that your not going to either of those areas. Or just tell them no, that you don't want to do that. It took her a while to get use to saying no but she did. Now she doesn't do any thing that she doesn't want to do. She has really changed.

Answer 7

Well I've recently become more assertive. For me it was about learning that I can "be angry and sin not". I've kinda been told all my life that I'm too angry and that I should be gentle (of course I usually end up exploding on those closest to me). So now, I'm just learning to say when something bothers me early on so that I don't get so angry that I explode like that.

It has made me a more mature and confident person.

Answer 8

They care too much about what others think of them. They don't want to offend others. They are by nature quiet. They don't want or need attention. They don't care that much about making a point. They get beaten down everytime they try to assert themselves, like from an abusive parent.

Answer 9

the basic reason is fear...fear of consequences and fear of being unable to live up to the expections of those around them...why do some people seem to have these fears more than others? there are a lot of different reasons, psychologically speaking...some people are born with genetic predispositions that cause them to develop psychological conditions like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc...but some other reasons, not related to genetics, are purely environmental...learned behaviours from parents are another cause of anxious psychological states as well as, but not as commonly, traumatic experiences...it also depends on the type of culture that a person lives in...in modern life, especially in western culture, there are a lot of expectations for an individual and many of them are needless to live up to...this "status anxiety" that many people in our society are afflicted with is a direct result of modern development and social pressures...i think solitude is a very important thing for people to engage in, simply to put their life in perspective...its up to the individual to look inside themself and decide what it is that makes you "happy" or fulfilled...

Answer 10

Lack of knowledge and inferiority complex, laziness and not taking the responsibilities. Easy going attitude.