Is my relationship over?

Question

After being with my partner for 6 years now, I feel sick at the thought that our relationship might be coming to an end. 9 months ago I was made redundant, I have struggled to get work as I'm over qualified for store work etc, and there is a shortage of IT jobs where I live. We have accrued lots of debt and she is very depressed. I've tried talking to her but she doesnt want to discuss anything. If I try to put my hand on her or hold her hand, she subtly moves it, but she's moving it non the less. We haven't made love for months, and she no longer replies when I say "I love you". I'm preparing myself inside for the split, what else can I do? Am I over-reacting?

Thanks in advance :)

Just for those who are interested I have sold a lot of my things to keep debt down and I've been applying for any job possible, bar work, shelf stacking, anything, and all I get are knock backs, but several of you are right, I need to prove to her I can take care of her and accept her decision what ever it maybe.

Answer 1

when you say i love you. you don't mean it.
you say to hear if she will say back.
that's kniving. that's weak, tht's yuky and girls hate that.
that's major turn off. and put her in a bind to say.

put her into her shoes.
she dreamed about kingdom, dresses, and ballroom, prince with wite horse, romatic vacation, bathtub with roses.

she want be a part of adventure, love, romance, sexyness, be seduced, Taken over with masculine power,

You are Not over reacting. Your relationship is hanging by the tread. You are lucky she is at home. YOU are Reading her body languge wrong

you are reading it as
"i hate you get away from me. i'm gonna leave you"

you should read it as
"I'm really struggling here. please be the man that i felt in love with and save me. i'm loosing attraction for you fast.. and i don't know what to do.. iwat to stay i want to stay.."

you are lucky she is staying around. WHY SHOULD SHE STAY? WHY SHOULD SHE HAVE A SEX? remember High school? girls don't waste time with guys they don't feel attracted to, and you are that right now
powerless, asking "do you love me" question. struggling.

WHO want to be with that?

YOU NEED TO GRAB YOUR BALLS AND BE A MAN.

OVER QUALIFIED?????
OVER QUALIFIED FOR STORE JOB?

MAN WHO IS NOT PROVIDING FOR A FAMILY, who make her women work was not in her fatsy.

DO you really love her ? Make it work. get that money. sell your car and get a beater. get a 2nd job. get a 3 rd job on the weekend doing a gig at Craigslist.

you work hard. send out resume, while you do this. you go for jogging and be sexy.

because that's the man she married. a man who get though tough time with grace, power, DO WHAT EVER IT TAKE, I;'m gonna lead you out if this mess kind of man.

DON"T SAY I LOVE YOU. DO IT. LEt your ego go. She will love you when you work 50 hours try to make it better for her. she'll know when you passout in couch tired.

IT industry HAS BEEN saturated with indians for many years now. YOu either start in new industry. or be random like this.

BE A MAN. TRY TO FULLFILL HER fansasy.

Don't ask why she is not being a women of my dream.
ask am i the man of her dream?
what can i do?

grab your balls and be a man.
make that money. sell your toy.
and honor her. nurture her. pamper her.
you put her in hard time
she is waiting and waiting.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Actually your both in the same boat but at different ends. Youre both depressed for about the same reason. After 6 yrs.your relationship has actually goten no where and there is no light at the end of the tunnel right now. Your current position is not exactly where either one of you had envisioned it being when you first got together and now your relationship is in a deep rut with the danger of coming to an end. Your debt is only compounding to the problem. Shes probably trying to figure a way out without having to carry the debt load herself. The biggest problem I see here is your not working which is really the knife in this relationship and shes nothing changing and shes probably seeing your attitude as an "I dont care" one. First and foremost, if you really want to save your relationship, you must obtain some kind of work, whether its in your field or not, anything while you look in your field, if this is to have any chance at all. Once you get back to work, then sit down with her and work on paying off the bills and to get a savings acct started. You have to show her you have a plan for the future NOW and how youre going to get there and after all that, then talk about rebuilding your relationship. This wont happen overnight but then you didnt get into this mess overnight either. This all rests on you so get movng and quit making excuses and wasting time. Good luck

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear this. I don't want to tell you this, but my husband started pushing my affection away, stopped sleeping with me, wouldn't talk to me about anything, and now we have been separated for just a week now. Money is always a hard topic in relationships to talk about, for some reason. It wasn't money for ours, but I got the same reaction. you really need to talk to her, before her feelings get set in concrete that she is no longer going to try. There shouldn't really be anything you can't talk about after being with someone for that long. you may find that she has already made the decision, but doesn't know what to do. Your not over-reacting, 'cos if you feel this way, there must be a reason. Talk to hear is the best advice. :-)

Answer 5

May the Lord help you...
I think you should sort out your professional side of life first..and then the emotional side..just let her be for a while!!
Woman crack more easily under pressure,your debts are weighing too heavily on her...it is all this on her mind that has turned her off from sex not you..
The two of you are a team,your leadership qualities count now..keep up the communication and get job.
Once she knows you have got back to your feet again,she would normalise..amen
All the best..Luck & Cheers!!

Answer 6

Sorry partner, it appears that you are yesterday's news.Cheer up its a big world,and even though you feel lower than a snails toenail , it won't last ..Time for a road trip, some changes,new friends, new hobbies. You cant be unemployable everywhere unless your references are in the can.Then of course if you are bright enough to learn IT you can do about anything your heart desires.Dont be stagnant (lazy) , up and at em. The change will do you good.

Answer 7

Have you tried marriage counseling with your wife yet? If not then I suggest you do so and talk about with your wife. There is a big problem in your relationship and you can't pretend like everything is okay if you feel that way. If counseling doesn't work atleast you know you gave it one last try.

Answer 8

i dont think you are over reacting. she doesnt want to talk or show affection? in all honesty, the waiting will kill you. ending this relationship might help get you both off the hook in something that has come to an end.

Answer 9

well,sitting around the house all day,with no money,little food,future is looking bleek,if any future.especialiy when we see people with money,living it up and having a good ol time.pluss you loose respect for each other,.right down to hate- in on each other.very rarely is there ever a fix for this mental breakup,.

Answer 10

I'm not a doctor, but she may be suffering from clinical depression. You should talk to her about seeing a counsellor together.

Best wishes.