17 and wanting to get pregnant?

Question

so i know i may be young but i really want to get pregnant.i have a boyfriend working a pretty decent job.he gets payed bout 12 dollars an hour working more than 80hours in 2weeks.i was recently pregnant but i miscarried after 8weeks.we were both devastated by the whole situation.and we have been talking about me getting pregnant.we want to try but the problem is im on the depo shot.it wont b over till july 17.well we can wait till then but the problem is my mom will make me get my next shot.but i dont want to.if i refuse i know she will get my boyfriend in rouble because he is older than me.although she is ok with the whole thing with us being together right now.before that we did go behind her back,me skipping school and lying.then i got caught.when i got caught we decided that was the day to tell her i was pregnant.i love this guy and he loves me and we are ready to take our relationship farther with a child and get married.WHAT SHOULD I DO.PLEASE HELP.

Answer 1

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO???? That's a really good question, I would suggest that you wait, but who am I to judge you decision making.... I understand that you love this guy and if he loves you back he would understand that you are only 17 and still a baby yourself, not to mention you are still in high school, FYI when I was in high school soooo many of my friends got pregnant and I almost wanted to follow the trend, however I'm so glad I didn't because I'm no longer with the guy that I thought I wanted to father my child, and neither are the friends of mine..... I turned out to be the lucky one, no kid no heartache, however they are stuck on their own raising their kids,, BY THEMSELVES, and the daddies are DEAD BEATS!!!! I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but I am suggesting that you at least finish grade school and talk about getting married sometime soon, before preparing for pregnancy..... good luck

Answer 2

I honestly feel that you should wait before having a child at this point. You are still very young and while your boyfriend's job seems like it pays a lot, $12ph really isn't enough to raise a family.

Put into perspective the following:

Your boyfriend makes roughly $1920 a month before taxes. Lets take out taxes -> He's getting about $1400 of spendible income per month.

Rent for an apartment -> Anywhere between $700-1100 a month for a CHEAP place.

Utilities -> Roughly $300 a month on the cheap end (electric, phone, cable)

Car +Insurance -> Varies but can be as expensive as $200 per month if anything happens

Food - Supplies and unexpected costs - Can be anywhere from $150-200 a month

This isn't even including the childcare costs.

You would be in a debt before you even realized what hit you guys. Keep in mind that if you want to take up a full-time job, you will have to add daycare costs (sometimes ranges up to $200 per week!).

Wait until you are more financially stable, have been living on your own and can financially support yourself and a child before considering becoming pregnant.

It will help you in the longrun.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

No one has even touched on the the subject of the birth control you are using. When you get on Depo Provera Shot, whether you take ONE shot or five YEARS worth, you CAN have problems getting pregnant for up to TWO YEARS in the worst case scenario.

How long have you been together? If your mom is making you get a shot, you can bet that if you get pregnant, she is going to press charges on your boyfriend.

Only you know what you are ready for. But get married, then have the child. And seriously, wait. As someone else brought up, he doesnt make near enough to raise a family. Sure 12 an hour sounds good to you, youre 17. But you are not going to make enough to raise that child properly.

An adult human mind does not fully function until 22 years of age. You may be able to vote at 18, and drink at 21, but the brain is not fully functioning and rational until you are 22, and if you look back when you are 22 to this day, I can assure you you will feel differenly about the situation.

Answer 4

Hold off on having a baby. Instead map out your future. Career? College? Tech school? Vocational school? How long will you live at home with your mom? How much would it cost to rent? Do you want to eventually buy a house? You'll need to figure in the cost of insurance and utilities.

Kudos to your boyfriend for being a hard worker. However, here are some questions you need to ask yourself. Right now, he makes $12/hr @ 80 every two weeks = $960 less 20% in taxes and what nots = $768. Does he have medical insurance? How much would it cost to add you and the baby on? What's the co-pay for doctor visits, medicines, shots, etc. Can you be added on without being married? How would you account for inflation? Prices go up but salaries don't necessary keep up with it.

If he works over 80 hours a week, who will help you with the baby? You can't assume that mom will always be there (she has a life, too and, after all it's your baby; she's already raised hers). In my area, the average cost for daycare is upwards of $700 per month.

It cost on average $200 for groceries every two weeks (that's being on the really, really conservative side) for a couple. With a baby, you add on formula (if you decide or aren't able to breastfeed) and diapers. If the baby goes to daycare, he/she will most likely catch whatever virus is going around so you'll need to figure in the cost of over-the-counter medicine.

These are just questions to get you started on thinking about planning your future. You and your boyfriend may be very mature individuals that are very much in love but you still have to deal with reality. There will be many diversion on your "map" that you probably had not planned on but always try to get back on the road.

Answer 5

My now husband and I had wanted a baby right when we started dating. We thought about everything that could happen if we had a baby and thought about expenses, consequences, our lives. We started dating at 17, he was 16, and we chose to wait. Which was the best choice we had ever made. We got engaged and got married. Although we were married and still wanted a baby right away, we waited until we were married for almost 6 months. im now 20 and hes 19 we are 30 weeks pregnant. Although we are happy and anxious about the baby coming, sometimes we think we should have waited a little longer. We wanted time to live with each other and get to know each other better. You don't know a person until you live with them. We are doing great but we have had our difficulties because we are finding the true person. Definitely live your life and have fun before you settle down and start a family. Its a little easier to be married first before you start a family. Like people have said above, look at the expenses. We knew at 16 and 17, we couldn't financially support a child. We both worked our butts off and started a savings and when we finally started to think about having a family, we sat down and made a budget. Smartest thing we could have ever done. We asked friends and family everything we would need to have a baby and wrote it down. We either went to the store to get prices of everything or checked prices on the internet at the store we would be going to to purchase things. Formula and diapers are expensive!!! and one package does not last long at all!! We even asked the doctor about how much formula we would go through starting out and as the baby gets older!! a lot! Anyways, we had a budget set out and even added taxes in there for prices and then asked a doctor about how much it is to deliver the baby. Added the bills and everything. Mom helped us on a lot of it. You can even go to a financial advisor and they can help you set up a budget. Sure you have help with some things, but you need to be saving money too. Its not best to live pay check to paycheck.

Answer 6

Ok, well sweet all i can say is, i know the last thing you will want to hear is peoples opinion on how to live your life, but can i just say you really need to think about what life you are bringing a baby into. Having a baby should be the happiest day in your life, but you havent even experienced yours yet. You are only 17. And should i mention 12 dollars an hour is no where near enough to support himself, you and a baby. Good luck with your life though!! Sorry to preach!!

Answer 7

I am 19 and 32 weeks pregnant. My husband has a "good paying job" he just got out of the service. I didn't try to get pregnant, though I am not unhappy about it there are many struggles having a child that early. You need to finish school. You shouldn't make quick decisions you have plenty of time to have children and if this guy is so in love with you he will stick around when you all are ready. I put a pause on college...we live with my parents (sucks) and its really stressful to live with parents and have a child.12 dollars an hour is not eneogh to pay for Medical bills, cars (payments insurance) utility bills, diapers, formula, clothing, bottles, bedding, RENT/House payments..college...Trust me on that one! I have grown up a lot over the years but there are tons of times where I see people my age going out and having fun and doing "kid stuff" and I really wish I could do that as well. Children are wonderful but HARD WORK and can be straining on relationships, especially new..and young relationships. YOu will always be mom!

Answer 8

Please wait. I think it's great that you love this man & he loves you, but when people say you still have so much to see & do they are not just saying that! A child will keep you from doing ALOT of things & you may be "living" on love but sooner or later you will be saying "wait a minute, What about me" & it wont be about you anymore because you have this child to devote yourself to. A baby will even take time away from your boyfriend & if you are not ready to share your time than you really should think strongly about it. Having a baby does sound wonderful at times & you set around daydreaming about how it would be, but at 17 years old, I can assure you it's not what you think it's going to be & I will write that in stone for you if you like. My Sister just had a child when the man that so desperately wanted a child & she is 19 & trying to go to college. She now lives back in with her family while trying to go to school to finish up her education. She works part time, goes to school & barely has time to raise her own child while grandmother spends most of the time playing mommy. My sister is completely exhausted & her new baby now tells her what time she has to get up every morning. Get ready for "no sleep" if you have a child for the 1st year & then get ready to start your packing an hour earlier than planned because you have to get everything together & make sure the babies bag is packed and refilled with diapers, wipes etc. I'm not sure where you live, but I know how you 3 are going to live off of $12.00hr. because I'm sure you are going to want to take a trip for vacation or out to eat for a date or something from time to time. Please think about it more & at least wait a couple of years when you can be old enough to claim yourself as an adult. Don't put so many challanges over your head right now & realize that there is to many risks to take right now if you tried to become pregnant.

Answer 9

I'd take the miscarriage as a sign that your body is not ready to carry a child and wait till you are physically, emotionally, and financially. I understand that a miscarriage is devastating and I'm sorry but I truly believe that more than anything you are not mentally prepared for such a huge responsibility. Wait till you graduate and get married. Who know's maybe you'll decide you want to go to college? I'm not trying to put you down because I'm ttc right now myself and I'm married at 19 almost 20. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 10

Sweetie, I know babies are cute, and sweet, and thanks to the celebrity craze, they're the latest fashion accessory. (Sick, isn't it?)

Babies are a HUGE responsibility, one that you are not ready for at 17. TRUST ME! I had my first at 22, and wasn't even ready then!

You're still in High School, your boyfriend does not make enough to support the three of you, having a baby will NOT make things better - it will only create a problem. You're STILL A MINOR, you can't even legally rent an apartment yet! What will happen, is your mother will end up taking care of that baby. And she's raised her kids, she doesn't need to raise yours, also. If you love her (and deep down I know you do) then don't do that to her. It'll break her heart.

A baby isn't something you can decide to have on a whim. It's not a pet. It is a living, breathing, human being, and a baby is completely helpless. When you have one, you are completely responsible for him or her. That's a responsibility you are not ready for. It's a lot of work, night and day. If you have one now, you'll end up like Britney Spears, out drinking and partying every night, when she should be with her kids, because she had her kids too young, and feels like she missed out on her youth. You don't really want to end up like her, do you?

Let's just all hope your mother won't have to drag you to the Maury show for you to realize this.