whenever he gets mad at me for this that or the other thing and never says sorry to me. he never feels that he has done wrong, always blaming me for his course of actions. is this a vicious cycle? i asked him if he has been physical with his ex-wives before (yes, married and divorced 2 times) but he denies it. I asked if i am the first woman he has ever been physical with and he says yes. even after all the abuse, he never says sorry or make it up to me... will he do this again in the future?
i am emotionally very attached to him and everytime i am hurt (even though it's not his fault), i tend to show him the frustrations cuz i want his attention, his love, his hugs and kisses and i will feel a lot better but when he ignores me & i throw a fit about it, he turns out to be a monster and strangles me and yet he boldly says he loves me. Does love hurt anyone? Has anyone been thru what i have been thru?
2007-06-06 19:01:55 · 37 answers · asked by Such is Life! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he has also tried to make me suffocate with a pillow & when i screamed, he would push it harder on me & i was not able to breathe for awhile. He does this by climbing on me and he is bigger than i am and i am under his strength & could do nothing but suffer... i have lost breath and thought i would die both the times. yes, i have a son with my ex-hubby but he has been rough with my kid too.
2007-06-06 19:21:35 · update #1
there were times he was rough with my six year old boy too, there was once, he got mad when my boy interupted him while we were in a discussion & he carried him mercilessly and shut the door behind him. my son was terrified & can relate to that till today.
2007-06-06 19:25:42 · update #2
You need to get out of that situation immediately, for your own safety. If he has done this before, he will do it again, and it will become worse each time. Far too many wives have been murdered or maimed by violent, abusive husbands. If you stay with him, you could be one of them.
His feeling that he has done nothing wrong indicates that he is blaming you for his mistakes as he doesn't have the guts to admit that he is wrong about anything. He hates himself for what he is, but is unwilling to face the fact that he has serious issues he needs to deal with.
Know this, that the ONLY time a man should strike a woman is in defense of his own life. And only a coward would do what he is doing to you, and what he has done is called assault and battery.
Your craving attention from him and staying with him, believing that you love him is common to battered wives, as they feel they are the cause of his behavior and feel that if they love him enough, he'll change. Men like that never do, or if they do change, it is for the worse.. He needs serious psychological help, and he won't get it on his own.
But as for you, call Social Services, explain the situation, and get to a safe place, away from him. There are a lot of better men out there who don't believe in strangling their wife.
He has strangled you twice..... the next time he may not stop.
2007-06-06 20:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by Foxfire 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is an extremely vicious cycle and there is a huge chance that it will happen again. BUT YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM. I know it is easier said then done but you need to do this for yourself. You may be emotionally attached to him but you will most likely be 10times happier without him. Also you need to do what is best for your son. Think about what harm is happening to him and how this is effecting him. Do you really want him to be raised in that kind of environment? there are support groups that you can go to for help and support especially if you need emotional support. I wish you the best for luck and I hope that things will get better for you. BUT you need to take the first step and do what is best for you and your son. ...and that means getting out of the abusive relationship and if he says he will change do not believe it. Good luck
2007-06-06 19:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out now!
He will do it again and again if he can.He could end up killing you.
If you want to know, ask his ex-wives (not him) if he was physical with them. An abuser has a real pattern. By saying that it is only with you, he is putting the blame on you.
I think you can find stories like yours in many many women`s shelters. They have all been hurt by love.
Find a phone number for a domestic abuse hotline and talk to them if you need help/support/to hear stories...and to get advice about what to do.
I hope you are not married or have children yet....if they see him abuse you they will remember it for life.
My stepfather hit my mother (and she got out) but I will never forget or forgive...and I`m almost 40.
2007-06-06 19:11:07 · answer #3 · answered by psychokitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally when I meet someone, I talk about other things; Being gay or a lesbian is so insignifigat in life to me, I like to talk about polotics, Researches in science, Religion, the Military, Travel, School, Work, Basically everything under the sun... However the way I see it is that they either like me for me or not at all, & it's not like I am going to try something on them if they are str8 or just a friend, so wh bring it up. Though I will not hide it from them if they ask. I have had times where I was introduced by a friend to another friend as "My other gay friend" & that made me feel Labeled, Like a can on a shelf.... I know bad analogy... But why label your self on something insignifigant? I am many other things besides gay.
2016-04-01 07:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who was, word of advice...get out now! Right now its just strangleing next he will break your airway ( pipe in your throat that lets you breathe) next your neck then bones and who knows maybe even death...Personally guys like this to me are even lower scum than drunks and drug addicts who feel they have power over women in any matter or situation and i dunno if your married but to me when a man kneels to a women and asks her to marry him that says he yields to her will and respects and honors her...this is not it! This is not love, respecting, caring, or protecting actions and the reason you havent left yet is cause you love the 'nice' side of him when you need to see that this bad side is his true self being the nice side of him is just for looks to cover up his real demons, and the fact he cant take account or responsibility for his own actions?!? Grow the **** up! im younger this guy and when i screw up i raise my hand and say "I DID IT!! OOH ME YEAH THAT WAS ME!" yes it was my mistake but i realize it learn from it and improve...this guy obviously hasnt you need to show him that this isnt a healthy relationship let him know that he is hurting you and if he keeps hurting you, you will simply pack up and leave...if he threatens you or hurts you again that says he doesnt want to realize his mistakes, he results to using fear to keep you with him rather than realizing "Oh my god what have i done?" so my suggestion take a "time out" tell him that hes hurting you he lies it doesnt matter if your the first one hes done this too that is no excuse the first time is the worst cause that shows his chracter and who he really is and how he cant control himself he is unstable and unstable people are like nitroglicirin...they will exsplode for certain! So get out now while you can!
2007-06-06 19:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Keith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds liek a vicious cycle to me , the fact that you crave his attention and affection woud be normal under the circumstances that you want to be sure of his "love" etc for you id say put into place some actions to prevent this from occuring again while you still can , be it leaving him counselling whatever yout hink will work for you.
2007-06-06 19:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by whipsaplenty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it hurts me whenever i read about women who goes through what you are going through...
i am not yet married myself but have observed lots of married couples who undergoes what you are going through...
he's not just abusing you physically but destroying your self-worth until you think you are the one to blame and that you deserve punishment...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
people, especially those in a relationship, may argue without the need to beat the other up. and you better think of this. it is his fault that you are hurt. yes believe it! a relationship is a partnership and he has to show you that he loves you as well.
its his fault that you are hurt and then he has the nerve tio physically attack you?run out the door and dont look back, get a divorce. do you really want to risk your life in this monster's hands?
walk out the door now. you'll look back years later and know you made a very wise decision.
may God help you always.
2007-06-06 19:10:00 · answer #7 · answered by puzzled 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All these questions about the same guy? Are you just a chronic whiner or do you really love him? If you love him then stop making trouble and love him. If you don't love him, if your just a drama queen trying to get attention, then move on and stop asking all these bs questions that you already know the answer to.
2007-06-07 01:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by Fun G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with him? It won't stop at strangling you,., if you're lucky you'll wake up in hospital, if not, your family will have to say goodbye to you over e GRAVE.
This is serious: WAKE UP. Get out.
I've been there, and it nearly cost me my life.
I realised this is NOT what love does. And that we are ALL worth far more than getting dominated and abused like this. Gather your pride and get out while you can. NOW.
2007-06-06 19:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you love him it's not worth it to stay in an abusive relationship. You wouldn't want the strangling to work out to hitting or worse. And don't think you can try and change him. Trust me, something things you just can't change and sometimes love just isn't enough.
2007-06-06 19:07:41 · answer #10 · answered by moi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋