Do I send it?

Question

A friend's wife has been having an affair and has been lying to him about it the whole time. He doesn't deserve to be lied to and doesn't deserve to be treated this way. She doesn't deserve him. She's cheated on him 3 times. He doesn't know this. I can send a completely anonymous email to him telling him. Do I send it?

Answer 1

stay out of it, it's none of your business

Answer 2

You could really devestate him so NO I think there is a better way to do this. If you send the email & he doesn't tell you about it then who will he have to talk to? His wife? Then he will want to find out who sent the letter & since it's done anonymous then who is to believe that it's true. So much negative stuff can happen by handling it this way. I would confront her with it. I would walk straight up to her and ask her & I wouldn't care what she thought. I would let her know that you are not there to break up the marriage but to inform her that you are aware of what's happening & that she should really consider the risks that she takes & realize that she will end up losing her husband if he finds out. What could she possibly do? She really can't get mad or angry at you. What she is doing is wrong & I would totally let her know.

Answer 3

first thing hes gonna want to know is how do u know this and if its true, if u can answer those questions then u should! but if u dont have ur facts straight then u might want to think about how if its maybe a rumor, or a flat out lie u will lose a friend! thats the person u dont want hurt either way!

Answer 4

You are judging him and her. Him, because you THINK he does not know. Then, her, because she is a triple cheater. Stop judging and don't get involved. Just be there for your 'friend' when he finds out.

If you are one of those people who must interfere in 'others business', ask your friend if he would want to know if his wife was cheating. Pose the question as if it was someone else you 'two' know.

Then comply with his answer. Remember, he may already know, after all--this is her 3rd and counting! He just may have accepted it and will feel very, very, very, embarrassed to discuss it with you or anybody.

Answer 5

Yes...but include some details that make him know that you know what you are talking about. Something about the situation that only an insider would know. Or tell him where to catch her. Keep the e-mail anonymous...he needs proof or he probably won't believe you.

Answer 6

this is really a difficult question because i know how much you care you about your friend; however, you really need to stay completely out of this. there is a reason for timing in all things. don't disturb the atmosphere of how all this is going to play out. if you intervene, it may be at a time when your friend isn't really ready to face the truth. deep down, your friend already knows that his wife is not trustworthy (believe me)..he would never admit it to you or anyone else, but their marriage is between the two of them, and there are intimate details of their marriage (including how much he knows or doesn't know) that no one but the two of them are aware of. in the end, the truth will prevail. i know how hard it is to not indulge in "vigilante justice." i had to bite my tongue when my good friend's husband confided in me that he was gay! she was 6 months pregnant when i learned this information. i chose to stay quiet, let their marriage play out its own way in its own time. in the end, she found out, they got a divorce and now live 1500 miles away from each other....do yourself and your friend a favor (believe me, it's an act of love). stay out of it, and keep being a great friend to your buddy. ps: i'm sure this is not the response you really want, but you know i'm right or you would have already sent the letter.

Answer 7

I think your friend is in denial and may just write an anonymous email off as someone just being stupid. If you tell him face to face...be prepared for him to initially be angry at you instead of her...There might be some casual way to bring it up, like someone saying that they saw her with someone or someplace and let him think it is his idea to start checking up on her.

Answer 8

It might be easier to send an annonymous letter. Print it off and send it without a return address. That's a moral decision you have to make. Could you just hint at things he should look closer at?

Answer 9

Normally I would say no but.......in this day and age there are std's out there that are killing people!!! You evidently care about your friends life more than his own wife. If you do send the email don't ever tell him you did and take it to your grave! It might embarrass him coming from you and he might get upset . If he wants you to know let him be the one to tell you and just act surprised. Don't interfere with his choice about things what ever he decides to do about it just be supportive. He may want to confront her and get counseling to save his marriage if he really loves her? So be carefull and be his friend in what ever he chooses to do sweetie.

Answer 10

Ask yourself this question...do you really want to be in the middle of their relationship??

Granted no one deserves to be treated like that in a relationship, however if he does find that it came from you, are you ready to answer all of the questions he's going to come at you with? Do you want to be a witness at their divorce hearings?

Answer 11

I think you should say something to the wife first, saying something to him probably won't go over too well. He probably won't believe it, and then have a problem with you for even saying it. Its def. a tough situation because you don't want to see your friend get hurt, but if this woman keeps it up, she is for sure going to get caught. Good luck!