Hi, I'm 14 and my parents are getting divorced over me. I ordered something on the internet 3 times and my dad said it was okay. So, hes trying to lie and say he didn't agree to anything, so now my mom and dad are both getting divorced and i need to help them stop it. I'm not the only child so should i set them up for marriage help. She's also mad at my dad for having a job that kinda sucks,and my brother (hes 16) for not having a job. please help! i MUST stop this divorce from happening! I"m praying as we speak!
2007-06-06 16:00:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Parents don't get divorced because of anything a kid does, as much as you'd like to think differently. You being the best kid in the world will not affect their relationship.
And that's what a divorce is about, you know. Your parents have a relationship apart from the kids. If you think about it for a second, they got together and that had nothing to do with you. So them deciding that they would be happier apart(as individuals) doesn't really have anything to do with you kids.
And as sad as it may seem right now, in the long run I think that happy parents that are apart are better then miserable parents who stay together.
What they could probably both use at the moment, is knowing that you love them both and while you hope they can work things out, you will try to understand if they need to separate in order to be happy.
2007-06-06 16:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by flopstock 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, your parents are not getting divorced because of you. There are obviously a lot of underlying issues that have led to this. I'm sorry that your dad isn't being honest, and that you have so much pressure on you.
You may feel weird doing it, but can you ask for a family meeting? Get them all around the dinner table to talk, tell them you're upset and that you think it's your fault, and ask them if you can all go to family therapy together?
If nothing works and they get divorced, I am really sorry. My parents divorced when I was 10. Just know that adults sometimes don't think things through and sometimes forget how much their actions can affect kids. No matter what, you will be just fine, and sometimes, houses can even be happier when the parents split up, because there are some issues that just can't be worked out. Don't let this situation ruin your idea of happy families and marriages in the future! And when you get married someday, wait until you're older and know yourself and what you want before you settle.
Good luck, sweetie.
2007-06-06 16:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are not gettin divorced over u dude. They might say that, but if they cared enough about each other, they wouldn't let some arguing about a teenage son break em up.
It might be the last straw kinda, but it ain't your fault man. Don't go blamin yourself for somethin your parents do. They are the adults and are fully in control of their lives.
Now about stoppin it. U ain't gonna. And even if u did stop it this time, it would happen again and again until they finally broke up anyhow. And stuff might even get worse if u somehow managed to stop it. Family violence is really common these days.
U are best off just sittin back and seein what happens and makin any plans u can based on that.
I gotta say tho that your heart's in the right place kid. Some kids wouldn't even give a crap. I'm hopin it works out for ya, but sometimes stuff seems horrible, but brings better stuff later on. Think on that some maybe to ease the sadness u got.
2007-06-06 16:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey buddy, sorry to hear that your parents are getting divorced. First, it is because of you. My parents said the same thing to me and I am an only child. It is just because they are mad at each other and when the kids try to interfere, they tend to take all their hate and angry on you. The best you can do is try talking to them, giving them advices such as counseling, and hope they change their mind. But, from my experiences of my friends, you are not supposed to say anything to them. The decision they make can or cannot affect at all. Sometimes it is good for some couples to get separated. Not that I want yours to do that. You have no control whatsoever on your parents. You cannot tell them to not to and be the boss. The only thing that you can control is yourself. The best way is to get therapy.
I also pray that your parents don't get divorced. Try talking to them all the time but make sure you aren't controlling them. You are the youngest, so they will have more love than your brother. Good luck!
2007-06-06 18:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by Deepu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO,your parents are NOT divorcing over you,they are divorcing because they don't like each other any more among other things,the internet orders are an excuse,maybe the last straw for your mom,try getting them to sit down and tell them how you feel but,I am sorry to say this,be prepared for things to continue to deteriorate,know one thing,this has nothing to do with you and your brother,men/women relationship are complicated,someday you will understand.Praying is the thing to do at times like this but if things don't turn out the way you prayed for don't blame God,He can only help those who want to be helped.
2007-06-06 17:52:27 · answer #5 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how old you are...when your 12 you can decide who you want to live with. My parents divorced when i was 6. I did not get to choose but the court decided i was to stay w/my dad and it worked out great.They decide which parent is best fit for the child and thats who you live with until you become an adult or when you turn 12 or so. No you don't have to move but if you want to move out of state the other parent has to be notified.
2016-04-01 07:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not your fault, trust me. parents have a lot of complex issues that you do not know about. while the internet order may have angered your mother, I guarantee that that is not the reason your parents want to divorce. you will understand more as you get older. my parents got a divorce when i was seven. it was about them. your parents love you and this is NOT your fault. you have no control over your parents, your brother, or anyone's job. all you can do is be the best that you can be for yourself, that's it. that the great moral of life: mind your own business, be the best you can be, go to school, don't do drugs, have fun and stay busy. seriously.
2007-06-06 16:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by yeahyeahyeah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awhhhhhh as a child of divorce and at my 12th birthday party, the hugest fight happened, I know how you feel it's your fault, but it's not. Parents use stupid things to cover up the real reason they are getting divorced and there is nothing you can do to stop them, unless you think getting them into family counseling would help. It wouldn't hurt for you to ask them to go with you. Good luck.
2007-06-06 16:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents they are BOTH selfish and childish and they BOTH need counseling.Tell them they are ruining the lives of the kids they dont care anything about because they refuse to shut up and try to listen to one anothers point of view or admit they are wrong about anything.If your dad is doing the best he can job-wise then at least you have a place to live and food and clothing.If your mother cant be happy with that then tell her to go to work.It costs to raise a family. If he can do better and wont shame on him.He should also own up to the truth about what you ordered.
2007-06-06 16:05:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Adults affairs is difficult to comprehends at times.Young man!
Your intention is good.
Talk to both of them, as a child your fear, your want and your wish in a good family.
Don't get work-up, maintain your cool and U need to respect their point of view also and try your best to reasons out on the basis of your need.
Good luck and The Lord be with U.
2007-06-06 16:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by jason w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋