why do people hate me?

Question

I try hard to make people comfortable and happy. I'm the 1st to admit that I might try to hard. I'm always encouraging and telling how important they really are to the world. When they are down I try to pick up the pieces and make their lives easier. I'm ALWAYS the shoulder to cry on, and yet its like they don't need me any more after they feel better. Just pushed aside like an old trusty pair of running shoes. I don't understand Maybe someone could help me too.

Answer 1

because you're beautiful

Answer 2

I think people may perceive such a warm and caring person as a "doormat" so to speak. I'm this way too, and sometimes get similar reactions. I think people may see you as being always there for them and self-sacrificing in a way. I think it may be perceived as a weakness on some level, even though it's so good that you have such tendencies and seem like a really good person.

Don't worry so much about how other treat you. Learn to adjust accordingly, There are some people who do admire and respect such characteristics, and you want to remain true to yourself around those people especially.

Channel your good-natureness and caring to those who need it, and include animals too, who give love unconditionally. You should feel better about yourself when you're around the right people and in the right environment. Don't change -- just adapt, and keep true to the nice person you are!

Also, remember too, that you're not alone and not the only who who feels like this from time to time. A lot of other people are selfish and could be jealous that you always remain kind and perhaps upbeat or positive. They resent this and may feel envious because they think you're happy and they're not. They may not realize that you're as unhappy as they are, but in a different way (but then, they wouldn't care in the first place, so just shrug it off and move on).

Just be happy about who you are and you'll attract the right folks into your life. Be patient too.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well trying too hard can get annoying. I know you mean well, but sometimes you need to back off. You can't make people like you, just be yourself. Instead of always being there when they are miserable try spending time when they are happy too. Maybe ask them to go to a movie with you or something, hang out as friends. Be a dependable person that they can rely on when they are sad, mad, happy, etc. Don't just let them confide in you, confide in them also. Communicate and become friends.

Answer 4

Look at the bright side! At least you solved your friends predicaments when they really need help. It's their lost to push you aside after you helped them. People like you are really nice indeed. I know that from the way you always like to make people's lives easier. Let's just hope that someday they will know how to spell the word- REGRET. You know why? Because they will REGRET for not making you the friend they really should hang out with the most!

Answer 5

Stop smooching their bottoms to make them love you. That never works. Start trying to live for yourself awhile, have some fun, buy something you want and you will feel a lot better. Some people are too senstivie to the needs of others but you can get over that, especially right now when you are feeling used!!! Good luck.

Answer 6

Maybe you are being too pushy? Sometimes people just want to be left alone. You say that you are always the shoulder to cry on...well, this sounds to me like people love you and can come to you to talk...they trust you. A lot of times when someone is upset, they are not thinking of other's feelings because they are having to sort out their own..Don't take it personal. Just back off some...Let them know that you are there for them if they need anything, and then let them be..When they are ready to talk, they will come to you.

Answer 7

It's hard, but you've gotta stop only being the shoulder to cry on. Be the funny girl, be the outgoing girl, it's possible and when you're done with all the fake stuff and people need to come to you, you'll still be there for them. But try to be more outgoing at times. Be the bad girl. But don't get arrested!!

Answer 8

I don't believe people hate you. You sound like a great person to have as a friend. Maybe what you are feeling is you are being taken advantage of for your kindness. Try doing something just for you (be selfish). Join clubs and meet new people, the more people you meet the more friends you will have. Maybe you will meet less needy people and ones that want to be friends instead of using you for your shoulders.

Answer 9

Sounds like you're trying too hard to please others. Maybe the "people" you're around are too needy and then become resentful when you try to help. Work on your self esteem and pick friends that are going to encourage you rather than put you down. You have to establish your own dignity. You are the closest "neighbor" you have. Try to learn to love yourself first. Don't allow anyone to throw you away like old "running shoes." You need some daily afirmations for yourself so you learn to love yourself. Hope that helps.

Answer 10

It's simply the way people interact. We'd rather take without giving back. I'd have to say you give too much, too easily. Expect things. Be more assertive but don't be pushy. Draw lines at certain things, and make compromises: don't simply give in to things. When people need that shoulder to cry on give it up reluctantly. MAKE people want you, and they will. Not much thought goes into 90% of human interaction so don't take it too hard...

Answer 11

Well some people are just very self centered. Such friends are not true friends that you should have. Also, you might be thinking of this in a quite wrong way. Just because this friend doesn't need you anymore afterward doesn't mean that he/she hates you, but that they are just independent, human nature, since most humans don't want to hang on another person.